WWE Raw 2-9-15

The show opens with a recap of Rock INTERFERING WITH THE RUMBLE with guys who were eliminated and not the final guy. Opening video already features way too much talking. Basic Raw intro airs. Big Doggernaut gets a mixed reaction to start the show. They recap BIG SHOW BEATING REIGNS, so he'll beat him tonight. Five minutes in and they've FINALLY recapped last week's angle. Roman recaps things. Gets booed. One guy yells GOLDBERG. He brings up Bryan and gets booed. Well, they've killed Roman this year. Bryan comes out here and says EASY THERE, BIG DAWG! Bryan's being a bit of a prick here saying he's a better wrestler. So the angle is that the faces are both assholes, but THANK GOD HERE'S HHH! Steph talked about Fast Lane, WHICH IS FREE FOR NEW SUBSCRIBERS and HHH talked about Sting.

Steph's upset for Bryan winning a stip match while Bryan talks about Katie Vick. Just...what is all of this?  OH GOD, SHE MADE ROMAN AND BRYAN against Show and Kane. Shouldn't this be for the tag titles since Bryan and Roman don't get along. Fuck everything about this show so far. Cole calls this an INCREDIBLE and GREAT TAG TEAM MATCH. Nope. Kane is clubbing at Roman. Jesus tapdancing Christ, every single commentator is terrible for many reasons. JBL is burying Roman for putting his title shot on the line, Booker is going on and on about how gutsy it is, and Cole is adding nothing of note. Great bit with Bryan being caught by the heels on a dive to the floor and chucked into the ropes. I wonder how many viewers Wicked Tuna gets compared to Impact.

We come back to a bearhug. God. This show has to be a rib. I love Booker T, but he's terrible. JBL points out that HHH is calling out Sting instead of the babyface doing that. Yes lock to Kane. Bryan nearly won against two giants BY SUBMISSION in a glorified handicap match, and since when is going into the timekeeper's area a DQ? Roman is FORCED TO USE A WEAPON HERE against Big Show. Why? Bryan kicked their asses without one. Bryan accidentally kicks Roman in the face, so they bitch and moan. HHH makes another tag match with them - IT'S THAT MATCH AGAIN BUT WITH MORE GUYS. They have actively killed Bryan and Roman so far. Takeover Rival ad airs.

Oh good - SETH GETS TO WORK TWICE TOO. This roster is scary thin. He's facing THE BIG GUY. Cole congratulates Eminem for winning two Grammys since he did a WM theme last year, while Cole talked about how he has all of Eminem's albums. Seth is great, but he can't carry Ryback, who was out of position for a basic stomp to the back. Spinebuster leads to the Shellshock, but of course the goons cause a DQ. Seth gets a curb stomp while Cole yells about it being too much...why? It's his finisher and it took two of them to beat Ryback before. HHH wants Sting's response tonight. So to review, we're going to get a talking segment designed to set up another talking segment.

 

 

Big Show, TOP HEEL IN THE COMPANY AND PART OF THE TOP HEEL COMPANY, hates bullying. A very Irish song plays a Sheamus hype video. They should keep the epic start of that for his theme. Paige showcased her cleavage marvelously before a Brie match. Nikki is darker than Ernie Ladd right now. Long triangle headscissors leads to some nice ass shots of Paige. Paige gets the lariats, the Rampaige and wins. BROCK IS ON THIS SHOW!? He'll be there with Paul to talk about Fast Lane, a show he's not on. Lana's velvet red dress is great. Mic feedback isn't though. We start the video with a great hype vid for Cena, but it turns into him getting his ass kicked a ton. They point out that Cena's old and broken down. I see they've grown tired of Cena making money for them, and don't want Bryan and Roman to draw money either. I see no flaws in this plan. This does set up Cena having odds to overcome though.

 

 

Cena and his fucked up eye came out to talk while the mic is all messed up too. Cena says he's been busted up, but every time he's knocked down, HE GETS. BACK. UP! I dug Cena here, but he didn't need to call himself an old man. "YOU CAN'T EVEN SEE ME JOHN CENA! They fought on the ramp and Rusev got the better of him. Bad night for Seth - he posts the wrong twitter pic publicly, has his dick posted online, and has to work a match with Ryback and then another with Kane and Show. Dolph's out to job to Bray. Bray's getting tons of cheers, while Dolph gets mild applause. Dolph busts Bray's nose with a dropkick and we go to a break. We come back to a Bray chinlock. Dolph is moving too quickly for BRAY WYATT to keep up with him. They botched a fameasser, Abigail counter, and a schoolboy all due to that. Shotgun lariat on the floor. Crab walk and Abigail get the win and Bray gets an okay pop for the win. Bray is asked nicely to not attack further and he obliges. JYD video for black history month. Good to see them get use of the MSW library.

Brock Lesnar and Heyman came down. They didn't hype Brock up at all last week. Heyman talked about Brian Williams being a liar, but not as much of one as Bryan and Roman - who apparently pissed himself being across from Brock. Heyman puts Bryan over HUGE as being THE ONE TO BEAT THE ONE IN 21-1. Well, this was good-ish, but not amazing. Ascension vs. Dust Bros videos. Oh good. DUST BROS ARE FACING THE NEW DAY. Oh God. Cody's got a fucked up knee and should stomp randomly hopping around for no good reason. Cole talked about the Grammys instead of the match - can't blame him really. Cody leaves. Distraction schoolboy loss for Goldust. FUCK OFF. Renee meets with her Guest at This Time, Daniel Bryan, but Roman interrupts and says they can team up tonight and be fine. HHH-Sting stuff next.

Stardust smacks Goldust around. HHH talks about being in WWE for 20 years and putting his blood, sweat, and tears into the company. HHH is a heel, right? HHH says that Sting is the face of WCW, THE COMPANY HHH HELPED DESTROY. No, no you didn't. HHH says that Sting attacked him at Survivor Series like a coward. How? They had a face to face staredown and Sting got the better of it. A CROW CAWWED and Sting was in the crowd, then a lower part, then a wacky video aired. Sting showed up and HHH took a wrestling school bump for his appearance and then I ACCEPT appeared on the screen. Sting somehow lost weight and grew long black hair. HMM....

 

 

 

Usos face Kidd and Cesaro and we get a recap of the SD double date skit. Guys do moves and the commentators bicker for ages about the women being at ringside when they're divas. The wives bitch and moan and we go to a break. Come back to the Cesaro lift and some crossfaces. HBK-Shelton's finish is now a nothing mid-card match's nearfall. I liked them teasing a distraction finish, but delivering solid heel work leading to a win. This got pretty good at points, but was hurt by all the divas stuff and the commentary. Good Rikishi vid for his HOF induction - nothing on his long career outside of that gimmick, but whatever.  Usos cheered the video, and that was sweet.

They hype up the card for Takeover with a little video package and having Cole talk about it. Sin Cara's in new blue and gold gear to face Mizdow. This was a backdrop for Miz AND IT WAS AMAZING. He asked Mizdow to get him water, he did, and then the crowd jeered and he said when the hand goes up, their mouths shut. He also killed a "YOU'RE FROM CLEVELAND!" chant with "BETTER THAN COLUMBUS!" Anyway, Mizdow loses via distraction small package. Awesome Bray promo on Taker and Sheamus' video airs again.

AXELMANIA's RUNNING WILD! Ambrose is out to beat him.Perfect dropkick sends him into for the rebound lariat and a Dirty Deeds win. BNB comes to us from THE BAD NEWS ZONE - THE BNZ! Love the Bad News ticker. Recap of Bryan being beaten up a ton on SD. Bryan is a great babyface in peril while Roman's playing his best role - guy lying down. Ryback, Rowan, and Ziggler make the save for the vastly-outnumbered faces. Bryan runs wild on J and J, and Roman's got the fist ready to cock-block and steal the win. Wow. What a dick! Bryan tells Roman that he did the work, WHICH IS TRUE, so Roman speared him and got booed. They've clearly either given up on Roman or they're insane.

Screens -
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/3afi8qcbmjcgn2ercjalh1rpmkh7d5gg