WWE ECW 8-22-06

WWE ECW is now on the Network, so I'm going to cherry-pick some shows here. The 8-22 show has Sabu vs. Big Show, which I remember being pretty crazy - and I enjoy Show's ECW Title run. The intro has held up nicely - I'm surprised they kept "Bodies" intact. The first thing is an EXTREME bikini contest between Torrie and Kelly Kelly to hype up Torrie being on FHM Magazine with a cover that is quite risque for WWE. Taz asks where the dog is and Joey says her name is Chloe before Taz calls him a stalker and Joey says no, he's just married and frustrated. Okay, that was great.

Torrie shows off her ass in a silver bikini, and boy howdy what an ass that is. Knox and Test prevent Kelly from stripping. This is course leads to Sandman and Dreamer taking a stand for stripping and Sandman wants a six-person tag. Torrie kicks her down, the lights go out for some reason, and she and hitches up her bikini for a revealing stinkface before Tommy comes in to face Test.

Tommy is a terrible face in peril, while Test is an okay powerhouse and Knox is green with no real personality. Dreamer hits a DDT to win. Show and Heyman chat before Striker does his classroom skit with big words. Striker, shockingly, was great at playing an annoying asshole is full of shit and entirely too smug.

Kevin Thorne and Ariel, who is right at home in a Burning Angel set, come out. It's "our Extreme Rules match of the night" and Ariel spreads her legs for the intro as all vampires should I suppose. He's facing Balls, who was really perfect in this version of ECW since he could still kinda go, but he could be a giant cartoon too. Thorne and Balls brawl and Thorne hits the draping stunner to win.

Show vs. Sabu in a Summerslam rematch is up tonight, so maybe I remembered the Summerslam match and not this one. Shannon Moore is all emo backstage. CM Punk comes out to face CW Anderson as Christopher W. Anderson, which just made him seem even more like a jobber. Punk hits a high kick, the uranage and the anaconda vice end it.

We get close-ups of Sabu's billion year old face. Paul hypes up Hardcore Holly as being a master of hardcore wrestling. RVD faces Danny Doring, whose gear somehow looks cheaper and worse in WWE ECW than it did in the actual ECW. He squashes him and wins with a frog splash. Holly comes down and chairshots RVD to the back. Renee Dupree cuts a promo with giant bitch tits and a perm. Show comes out to face Sabu, and Sabu gets dropped across the ropes gut-first. Show goes for the world's slowest spear and misses Sabu and hits the ref. Sabu hits a few big chairshots to the head and hits the triple jump moonsault. Arabian facebuster but there's no ref. Another one comes in for 2 and Sabu hits Show with a bell a few times and sends him through a table over the top. Sabu beats the ref and it's a DQ.