Monday, July 10, 2017

WWE vs. ECW


Mick cuts an intense promo about ECW COMING INTO OUR BACKYARD, with Tatanka in the background here in 2006. Paul rallies THE EXTREMISTS including Terry Funk. Okay then. The show intro is kinda neat. Taz threatens King and Rey is out for the opener with the World Title, which looked great on him. RVD gets his usual tron...and still comes out of the tiny little ECW brick wall set. Well, that just looks weird.

 
Taz and King bitch and moan. RVD hits a slick kick onto Rey on the top rope. Rey hits a super bulldog onto a chair. RVD beats him with a frog splash - so he beats the SD World Champ and then on Sunday, he beat Cena too. Kurt and Orton bicker back and forth and then Mickie comes out for a match in a skirt, hooray! Mickie beats her with the MickieT.

Heyman runs down the ONS card and we get a recap of last year's ONS. Giant abandon ship battle royal with Raw, SD, and ECW. Show wins it and shows off his new ECW shirt. Edge, Mick, and Lita's tits are mid-ring. We get clips of Mick in ECW burying hardcore wrestling and it's time for Tommy vs. Edge, with tons of weapon shots and Mick using barb wire on Terry. Tommy goes to backdrop Edge off the top through a table, but Edge falls up short and lands on his head. Dreamer Driver through the table sets up a piledriver to Lita, but it's a powerbomb and like with Eddie, she falls out of her pants and Edge pins Dreamer with Lita on his face.

 
Mick cuts a fantastic promo about loving ECW - but ECW didn't love him back. ECW was that amazing girl that left you staring in amazement and yet you couldn't quit her. He said that simply putting a sock on his hand made Vince happy, but that didn't happen to Tommy Dreamer and when he looked at his match with Edge, he thought it was great - but not the greatest ever like he thought. He and Edge will have to be sicker than ever in front of 2,500 fans and Dreamer and Terry will beat them up.


If you look at Terry and see an old man, you're not seeing the real Terry Funk - his slaps hurt more than most punches, and his punches concuss. He is in ungodly pain and wants one last match. He blew the son of a bitch up in Japan and set him on fire in Philly - he put his arm around him then, but not anymore. Holy shit is this an amazing promo. He vows to rid himself of the sick, twisted whore that is ECW. He's been slammed in tacks and thrown through flaming tables - and it will be nothing compared to what will be unleashed in ECW, goddammit. He'll walk into the ballroom as a WWE Legend, and force Dreamer and Funk to learn about loss.

 
Taz and Jerry have a little scuffle at ringside - which is actually more physical than the match would be. Cena vs. Sabu is up, and is surreal to see. ECW is in the STF and then the ring fills up with wrestlers and it's just mayhem until the end. Okay then.

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