Thursday, July 3, 2014

TNA Impact Wrestling 7-3-14

The pre-show Cops has a guy kicking in a window. Turns out it's his ex-wife's boyfriend's car and the guy is just going nuts. He gets tased and screams and bellows. Then a guy gets stopped for his car falling apart and it turns out he's got an out of state license, driving a car that isn't his because a guy gave it to him for free, and he's got meds that aren't prescribed for him. He thinks they're for anti-anxiety, but he's not entirely sure what they are. Oh, and he's gotten three or four cars for free too! A guy goes on a date with a girl he met online and she's got a warrant and some drugs - luckily, the guy wasn't arrested with that since she was honest. However, his car's still going to be impounded and he could lose his license and his job over this.

Angle getting the GM job is recapped, along with Roode's reinstatement and EY getting a shot tonight. A ginger with a giant Jim Neidhart beard is shown on-screen, and they've got a nice red, white, and blue color scheme for the graphics for the 4th. It really makes the company stand out and the red and white look alone works as something new even with red being used a ton on Raw. Shame they didn't go with a red, white, and blue rope setup here too. Angle calls out Earl and Taz mocks him for wearing stripes even in his street clothes. Angle grabs the script and blatantly admits it's a cheat sheet. Kurt is struggling to say "themanwhotoremyacl" and "The Menagerie". I think Joe was angry over Kurt being fair to people. Joe pissed and moaned because Kurt was given the key to the kingdom eight years ago. Kurt says Joe either goes all-out or goes half-assed, BUT KURT NEVER DID. Oh no. Joe said that while Kurt was being a big deal getting pampered, he was HERE IN PHILLY fighting for $40. THEY CALLED HIM THE SAMOAN SUBMISSION MACHINE AND HE IS PRO WRESTLING! Angle says that's the Joe he and everyone wants to see. MVP goads Roode into a fight, so Kenny King jumps him. WHY DID ROBERT ROODE'S IQ DROP!? Just because he's a face doesn't mean he needs to be a moron. MVP talking shit while choking him with his crutch is a nice touch though.

It's the red, white, and bruised sale throughout the month of July on ShopTNA. Angle tells Roode he's sorry about this, and Kurt says he respects him despite their issues. I dig this - they're logically getting along, but not white-washing the past. THE MENAGERIE HAS UNCLE SAM STILT-WALKERS! The Wolves' red, white, and black gear suits these graphics nicely. This 3-way has DJZ and Jesse, and somehow, Knux and The Freak A - had money for the Uncle Sam outfits, but also B - got a title shot despite not wrestling, let alone winning, any tag matches. Taz says that Robbie's not here due to the clown disorder - which WOULD HAVE MADE SENSE HAD HE NEVER APPEARED AFTER THEY INTRODUCED THAT. Oh well. Love Jesse hitting a Simmons spinebuster on Eddie right onto DJZ's knees - great spot! The Freak somehow accidentally clotheslined Knux over the top since Davey dodged an eon before. Davey pins Jesse. Dammit - Rebel's got a hot red, white, and blue bikini outfit and they're not showing it! Angle's title is now Executive Director instead of Director of Wrestling Operations. Kurt tells Bobby and Kenny to not fight here - THEY'RE GONNA FIGHT TONIGHT! Kenny didn't want to change, so Kurt made it a street fight. And it's next.

Tenay brought up EY being 0-3 against Lashley - COULD TONIGHT BE HIS NIGHT!? Roode looks so badadd in his jeans, busted up shirt, and belt. Roode may be the only man on Earth who preps for a street fight by cutting a promo. Kenny calls himself THE KING OF THE FIGHT. Okay, that's great. Shame he's dressed like a K-Mart shopper. MVP's out, and Kurt comes out to get him to go to the back. Roode jumped the heel from behind and they brawled in the red, white, and blue banner staging. They brawled into the crowd and Bobby chucked him over the bleachers to the floor with about a five foot drop. King took a great bump for a backdrop over the guardrail to the ringside area. Roode grabbed a chair but ate a Khali spin kick-Daminator or whatever into it. NOW THAT THEY'RE IN THE RING, the street fight begins with a bell. The fuck? Is this under WCW Hardcore rules where it starts in the back until they got to the ring where it began? Kenny set Roode up for his stupid Royal Flush finisher, but Roode countered into the Roode Bomb onto the chair - awesome. There's a WWE 2K14 Death Valley Driver that is just perfect for that given how perfectly Roode does it. EC3 asks the camera guy how many times he has to beat Bully and/or his fossils before it's over. EC3's TROUBLE TROUBLE TROUBLE TROUBLE shirt rules. Brittany with completely new hair looking like a different person, and in a red, white, and blue bikini top is walking backstage.

The One Night Only PPV ad doesn't do much to make you want it. Roode yells about his past with Angle, getting jumped tonight, and Kurt making things right. Bobby said he was DESTINED to be world champion, so he'd be good for BFG. Angle and Aries met and Aries said he's the common denominator of greatness not due to arrogance, but due to his supreme confidence. Aries said MVP never gave him an X Title rematch, so he wants Kurt to do it - and Kurt says since he made Option C, he wants the title just for the World Title and he's he's got the match. Kurt says that he and Aries really need to have a one-on-one match, which hopefully we get at BFG. Brittany's out getting catcalls. Tenay recaps the awkwardness between she and Madison, kind of. Madison's got red hair, white skin, and...purple least go with blue for the whole July 4th deal. Brittany. Admits to. Being wrong. And says. That Madison. Was Right. The acting here. Was terrible. She looked up. To Madison. She wanted. To be just. Like her. Madison says if she's learned, she'll be there for her. They hugged and Brittany clotheslined her. They brawled and Brittany hit a scorpion death drop on the floor before just posing like a psycho draping her body over the ropes. She's got some poise as a heel, which is more than she had as a face - so this is working well so far. Bully said EC3 was tough, and lucky - tonight he'd put EC3 through a table and HE'LL PUT HIS AUNT DIXIE THROUGH ONE LATAH! Fun promo.

MVP cut Lashley's promo for him - basically coming off as a comic book supervillain. Lashley looked cool just standing there with lights on him. MVP says that whatever happens tonight is on Kurt since he's the one who made the match. Tenay hyped this up as a Slammiversary rematch, which is good since I forgot that. Taz hyped up Bully as a hall of famer. Bully gets the offense early on, but EC3 avoids an avalanche and hits a nice flying forearm. Bully hits the bionic elbow and does the 1,2,3 TABLES bit. EC3 hits a Meathook-style lariat to get the lead and drives Bully's face into the canvas. Tenay begged folks to get the Global Japan show to see Minoru Tanaka, who hasn't been referred to before or shown in clips. EC3 wears Bully down with the chain. EC3 goes for corner punches. Oh no. Bully goes for a powerbomb, but SPUD IN A RED AND WHITE HEARTED SUIT comes out and makes the save. RHINO returned with a Gore Tour shirt and teased a Gore on Spud, but he hit Bully instead and got MASSIVE you sold out chants. EC3 won with a chokeslam through the table, which he should never do again - it's worse than his leg lock. Roode and EY talked. EY said taht Lashley beat him three times AND HE STILL COMPETES IN MMA. Roode says to give him the EY facts - that he won the title, won at the PPV, and was a fighting champion! EY says he has more heart than Lashley...I doubt that.

Rhino's heel turn was recapped. Rhino says he does things just because he wants to. BFG vid. THE SAMUEL SHAW SAGA IS RECAPPED! Gunner meets with Shaw backstage about apologizing to people. NOW Shaw has stubble. Anderson whistled and acted like an asshole. Gunner told Anderson he'll never leave a man behind! Anderson continued to be an asshole, but relented to have Shaw meet Christy...without asking her. SO HE'S STILL AN ASSHOLE. "I'VE BEEN GETTING HELP FROM GUNNER!" Shame that's not just a nickname, because as an actual name, it sounds absurd. Shaw apologized and left while Christy and Anderson just...did nothing. Velvet and Angelina rubbed their tits all over "Stiffy". He's being given the match by Earl for...some reason. Isn't Earl a face? DIDN'T HE JUST GET REHIRED!?SHOULDN'T HE WANT TO MAKE GOOD CALLS!?

Destination X was hyped up on July 31, with Sabin clips. Angle tells Stiffler that he's not going to be the ref - IT MAKES TNA LOOK FOOLISH. Knux tells the Menagerie HE NEEDS HIS MONEY AND THE FREAK POSING ISN'T GOING TO BE MAKE HIM HAPPY. So clearly HHH isn't a creditor. BPs just walked out and didn't get the silhouette deal. Angelina's skin is getting really saggy.
Velvet posted Gail on the floor, leading to Angelina giving her a wedgie - Gail still has no ass. Tree of woe kicks from Love leading to a dropkick. Velvet hotshotted Gail and the ref kicked her out. Gail got 2 off a flash cradle and hit the corner crossbody to set up a missile dropkick for 2. Gail countered a kick with a leg drop. Gail goes back up, but gets hit with the Botox Injection. Angelina stops the count to pin her. Gets 2! Gail counters a whip into Eat Defeat before a nice ass-showcasing pin. EY-Lashley is next.

Angle says that next week, ALL THE TITLE WILL BE ON THE LINE! Except for the world title - a shot for that will be up for grabs in a battle royal! Roode and MVP acted as seconds. EY was tripped by MVP, so Roode ripped Lashley, so Earl got rid of them both. Same deal in two straight matches. I do like Kurt being given some credibility as a GM though. Lashley punched EY off the top, resulting in EY rolling his ankle by selling way too much. Lashley hit a superkick to the gut and a leg sweep! Lashley's got a standing heel hook on. I like this fast offense. EY got a missile dropkick and teased the flying elbow. He goes up, but can't move quickly, so Lashley sets up a superplex and is countered. EY bit him and Lashley took a great flying back bump to set up the elbow hitting. EY couldn't get the piledriver, so Lashley did a snapping version of the powerslam. Big spear hits for the win. This was short, but really fun - a perfect Showcase for Lashley as an MMA-styled asskicker. VINTAGE 3MB-BROCK there. They put Lashley over on commentary and thankfully didn't do the NEXT WEEK ON IMPACT BIT. Pretty good show overall here. The flow was fantastic and it had a couple of pretty good matches.

Screens -

No comments:

Post a Comment