Friday, January 30, 2015

TNA Impact Wrestling 1-30-15

Last week's Feast or Fired show was dreadful outside of Robbie being amazing. The TNA Facts thing would be better without them putting a sound effect on them. The show begins with a recap of the first DA show, the Lashley-BDC split, and Lashley's promo. They did an echo on "GIMME MY TITLE NOW, NOW!" and it only added to the comedy. The street fight worked out a lot better in video package form than it did live. Roode comes out with Lashley's belt to no reaction. We get a PIP of the announcers with Taz adjusting his chair - that was a must. Now Roode gets a reaction with a "Bobby, Bobby!" chant. He says he's devoted his life to winning this title. Well no, you haven't - it's only been a title since 2007. Roode says he and EY were closer than blood, and he won't stop until he spills EY's. I liked that line.

Lashley comes out in workout gear looking pretty badass. Roode says he respects Lashley and they've torn the house down many times. Once - the second and third matches were too interference-filled. Roode says the belt isn't his, but he's owed a rematch and wants it tonight. Lashley says he's got it, and Roode wants it now. Roode's kind of a prick here - he's dressed to compete, but Lashley isn't. Aries comes down with his case and gets a MASSIVE Austin Aries chant. Aries is I think a face, but he's being completely unlikeable. MVP comes down and says dumb, dumber, and dumbest are in the ring and the title belongs to the BDC. 12 minutes in and we've just had talking. MVP challenges Lashley for a match and Lashley says that Aries can save the case, while MVP and Roode's challenges are accepted as well for a 4-way - so Lashley is basically giving Aries another shot whenever he wants. Well, that's nice of him. Gail and Madison are walking backstage for a KOs title match with Taryn next.

We get a hype video for Lockdown next week - which you'd never know until this very ad. BDC faces Team Angle, and they show Jeff's crazy bump too. Josh shills the Madison banner. Gail spins out to the entrance area. Josh hypes up Taryn being the cheerleader in the Will Ferrell deal, which I like - WWE rarely takes advantage of things like that. Faces to stinger splashes to Madison, who bails. Cradle gets 2 for Taryn and then she hairmares Gail a few times. Madison gets a cravate and Taryn yells no. Madison gets 2 off some cravate knees. Taryn kicks out at 2 from a Northern Lights. Madison gets a Nova neckbreaker/DDT on the faces. Back to back covers get 2. Gail gets a wacky leglock and then Taryn gets a dragon sleeper on Gail. Gail counters into a shoulder charge, leading to the faces going up top and getting shoved off to the floor. Madison flapjacks Taryn on the steps, but Gail moves Taryn before the knee facebusters can be done. Madison hits a face jam on the steps to Gail. Crowd chants for puppies here in this good, serious women's match. Gail misses a crossbody and Taryn hits the cutter on Rayne for the win. I dug this match and they said you should tweet to her and name her finisher. Lockdown rundown includes Havok-Kong and the Hardys facing the Revolution for the title. I love them having "card subject to change" for a pre-taped show. Magnus is on the streets and has asked Bram to go to the bar and talk their issues out like men. Dreamer is shown going up some steps somewhere.

Spud and Mandrews go sight-seeing and Spud confuses DC for NYC. Dreamer comes out and is hyped up as a two-time ECW World Champion and the heart and soul of ECW. Dreamer looks so much fatter with this giant leather jacket on. Tommy's never lied to us and he never will, and to prevent things from getting crazier, he calls out EY. Well, this makes no sense based on what's going on with the show. Taz has no idea what's going on with this. EY comes down looking homeless. EY tells him to stay out of his business - well, he's not wrong. Tommy says that the first guy to offer his hand when he came to TNA was EY and the second was Roode. "I watched you go from being a joke to being the WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION OF THIS COMPANY!" Wow. Tommy says he's been screwed over and tells EY to not tun his back with Roode or burn a bridge with the fans. EY and his now-greying sideburns said Tommy's a fat loser from this dump. He doesn't want to burn a bridge - he wants to blow it up! Dreamer tells EY that if he wanted a shot at Roode, he should've just asked. Big No chant here, because of course. EY jumps him and piledrives him. EY punches the timekeeper for his chair, but Roode darts in and EY runs out. I liked this - it's a bit too much talking for 9:40 given that we've just had one reasonably-long match, but it was well-done. Matt talks about teaming with Jeff to a shot at the tag titles. Jeff cut a really good, intense promo on Abyss rattling down the weapons he'd use on him. We go to the bar where Bram's drinking and Magnus comes in and asks for a Heineken.


Angle walks backstage into Gunner's locker room and tells him to wake up and stop being a sleeping giant. He slaps the shit out of him and says he needs him to fight with him. Bram says he should've smashed Magnus's head the second he came in. Magnus repeats the words and tells him he couldn't, and they're best friends. Magnus said that Gunner had Bram hurt in the match, so he made a snap judgment and he got the tag title case - and who's his partner going to be? CRAZZY STEVE!? Ha! Magnus says that Bram's temper has put him in jail and on mugshots and until he figures things out, he'll keep making the same mistake. I like them meshing in the guy really being fired from WWE in some way into this, and Bram thanks him for helping him. Magnus says he doesn't get all of his friends jobs - he just did it for him. Magnus says he's got to put a roof over his son's head and food in his mouth. Bram asks to see a photo and he shows him his phone and they bond a bit. Bram says they're good and apologizes and they drink to the future. Bram sends him off to a dead end and then attacks. This is a great use of the real-life geography of the area and feels so much better than WWE doing stuff like this. Bram KOs him with a shot to the back of the head with a billiard ball and stands over his fallen body.


Taz and Josh talk about what we saw, making it seem important. Hardy and Abyss brawl backstage for Monster's Ball. They come out and brawl a bit. Abyss gets a cheese grater, but he eats a trash can to the head. Flying forearm sets up the double legdrop to the gut for 2. Twisto stunner sets up poetry in motion with the chair. Air Hardy to the floor misses and he goes through the table. It looks like he hits his head on the guardrail, although it's hard to tell with the table covering so much of the screen. Hardy's thrown in, but he's got the grater. Abyss grabs the bag of tacks. Grater to the balls lets up Hardy charging in, but Abyss sidestepping him and hitting the corner chair. Abyss grabs Janice and they show an Occupy Universal Studios graphic for the next tapings. Janice gets stuck in the buckle, Twist hits. Manik prevents a Swanton and the rest of the Revolution attacks. Matt comes out and fights them off with a kendo stick. Manik and Sanada hold him for a superkick and the Wolves come down. Alarm Clock to Manik. Wolves double dive the Revolution while Matt dives off the apron onto Storm. Abyss gets the tag bag and spreads them out. Abyss sends him up, but Hardy counters into a sunset bomb onto the tacks and the swanton wins. This was fun, if a bit too much like every Abyss match ever. Storm attacks Abyss for losing.


Jeff talks about how he wrestles every match like it's his last while Matt talks about countering the Revolution. Josh cuts to a recap of the opening bit. Aries is asked if Lashley did him a favor, and Aries says he wouldn't go that far, but it shows how confident Lashley and he does appreciate it. Aries says even if he loses, he may just win. SPUD TIME! Mandrews and Spud come out. They've never said Mandrews is just Mark Andrews shortened, but whatever - it's an okay moniker. Spud's black and neon green gear amuses me. EC3 and Tyrus come down and deny the request for a tag match against EC3 and Tyrus. DJZ brings out the BroMans and their awesome theme. Angelina shakes her ass and the faces attack the heels from behind. Jesse presses Mandrews over and over - love it. Great bump from Mandrews off the double facejam. Robbie holds the hands and teases a tag before stomping the wrist - what a great heel. Mandrews ducks under and gets the tag! Spud lands a great series of punches before a ball claw and then a double ball claw. HE RIPS THE BOWTIE OFF AND HE'S PISSED NOW! Spud takes Jesse down and Mandrews hits the SSP for the win! This was fun. Tyrus kills the faces with the elevated spike before EC3 attacks his very tiny foes. EC3 makes Spud and Mandrews against Tyrus for Lockdown, which you knew was coming to some degree due to the ad. They've got to figure out a better way to hype up next week's show than to offer video spoilers - they're killing the need to actually watch the show live. Champ and challengers walk backstage - the title match is up next.


Recap of the prior match and the post-match deal. Spud cuts a fired-up promo with Mandrews and he says he'll get him! Josh puts over both guys as being the winners of British Boot Camp while Spud yells that he's not a fucking loser! They run down Lockdown and Taz says that since the BBC guys won, they can beat Tyrus. Taz says the BDC will win and they bring up how Angle's whole team isn't even set yet. Amusing little bit with JB saying "competitor number thr...two!" when MVP came out second and Taz ribbed him. Josh puts over MVP's appearance on Taz's podcast, while they talk about how he went in-depth about his childhood. When Roode came down, they showed the confrontation with Roode last week - I like that. They make everything seem important and don't just end its importance after the segment ends. Josh puts over the rankings and I like that they actually matter for at least this match - it's a nice change of pace. They've had a rough start, but within a month, they've really got a fantastic formula for this revamped version of Impact down. Lashley attacks MVP before Roode and Aries get back in there. They brought up Roode and Aries being tag champs - I have zero recollection of that.

Taz runs down the whole top 5 rankings and how Tenay explains them logically on TNA Unlocked.  TNA Greatest Matches: Bully Ray is up tomorrow. Smart move timing-wise. If he's in WWE, then you get some mileage out of the footage and if he returns to TNA, then you keep his name fresh. Blackout countered into the spinebuster by Roode. Another Lockdown ad hypes up Hardy's bump and the Lethal Lockdown match. We come back to Roode and Aries fighting in the corner.


Lashley powerslams Roode for 2 thanks to an Aries save. Aries goes for the brainbuster, but Lashley tosses him off. Aries low-bridges the champ and sends him out before diving onto him. MVP sneaks in and hits a running forearm on the apron to send Aries to the floor. Yakuza kick in the corner to Roode and an exploder gets 2. MVP gets the ballin elbow after avoiding the Roode bomb and gets a fisherman buster, but Aries attacks Lashley with the Last Chancery that is countered into the dominator perfectly - I want to do that in games NOW!

Aries hits the double sledge off the top to MVP. Roode takes MVP down with the crossface, but Lashley breaks it up. Tower of Doom powerbomb superplex hits, but EY attacks Roode with a chair. Lashley goes for the spear, but Aries gets the chancery! MVP attacks to end that. Discus forearm to MVP sends him to the floor and he goes for the dive, but Lashley spears him for the win! This was a very good match and easily the best match so far on Destination America. Angle came down to save, and they talked about his team needing to be formed and THERE IS TIME LEFT. There are also a few faces down, so this is a smart little setup.

We return to a recap of the title match. Angle is mid-ring with Roode, Gunner, and Lashley. Roode says the BS ENDS NOW - NEXT WEEK IS LOCKDOWN. Well, that's not now. He challenges him to a six sides of steel match. He says he'll make him pay and BLEED. Good little promo. And then EY cuts a frantic 1.0 manic Flair promo on him. Angle says that in Lockdown, the numbers will be equal. He'll have Gunner on his side, and Aries talks to him about joining the team. Kurt asks Lashley to join him and he gets a big Bobby Lashley chant. Kurt calls him THE MOST TALENTED WRESTLER HE'S SEEN IN TEN YEARS. Angle tells him to join, outlines reasons, and Lashley says he'll never team with him. So Kurt needs to come up with something next week. They show Hardy's bump from multiple angles here and hype up Lockdown some more.

This was a "sum is greater than the sum of its parts" show. TNA really seems to have nailed down the format of the show and it results in past events being cited and shown regularly, so things feel important. They also put over the rankings strong for the main event and re-integrated the Biscoff-style shooting outside of the building and talking head bits.

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