WWE SD 1-9-15

Raw recap. Cole says that Dolph, Ryback, and ERICK ROWAN sell tickets for WWE. Seth comes out and gets booed by kids who do not like him one bit. Seth mocks Cena for being had and mocks his facial expression. Seth recaps the firing of Rowan, Ryback, and Dolph with canned reactions. Seth's proud of being in the title match and rambles on a bit about the Authority and how he's not a bad guy. Seth asks for the bell to be tolled ten times in memory of their fallen careers. Roman gets tired of this and walks down. THE BIG DOG powerhouses his way into the ring and talks.

 

Seth's not just full of himself, HE'S FULL OF SOMETHING and full of SUFFERING SUCCOTASH. Oh my God. Seth also has donkey dung for brains. Wow. RR beats up J and J before brawling with Seth. Big Show comes down, hopefully to talk. Nope, it's Kane. Kane makes a ONE VERSUS ALL MATCH - Roman against Seth and Show, unless Roman can find a partner. But if they do, then The Authority won't like them. Well, that's awfully fair really. Show says that his fist is superior to Roman's and he'll knock Roman and his partner out, AND THE FANS TOO. Triple threat tag later and Big E faces Adam Rose in a Raw rematch that I completely forgot about.

Kane talks to someone on the phone and then the Mizes come in. Miz apparently had MizTV taken out from him on tonight's show, but he understands and is hoping that the triple threat can just be made a regular tag match. Kane agrees until Sandow accidentally covers him with water. Rose, Cesaro, and Kidd are out. New Day and their raining pyro come out. Love Kidd and Cesaro wearing their fan-made Mike Tyson-inspired shirts. Rose actually gets a spinebuster on E for 2. I like the repeated forearm shots from Rose. Oh thank God, a chinlock! Tough Enough season 1 is coming to the Network on demand - so you still can't watch tons of Attitude era Raws, but you can watch 13 year old episodes of a failed reality show. Rose keeps dominating and gets 2.5 off a tornado DDT. Tilt a whirl into the Big Ending gets the win. This should've been much shorter and with just Big E killing him.

 

THE ASCENSION OF POWERFULLY PAIN DOOM came out. They plug Hogan on Jericho's podcast while The Ascension buries LOD and the Powers of Pain. THEIR POWER WOULD CAUSE THEM PAIN! Fivehead beats up a fat, tattooed jobber that JBL says is an illegal immigrant. Fall of Man hits. JBL buries the idea of jobber matches - so way to kill that tool too. Byron Welcomes His Guests at This Time, the Usos. What the Authority did on Raw was messed up, BUT THEY GONNA GET USO CRAZY TONIGHT!

Total Divas won Pop Sugar's reality show award. Fox-Naomi recap sets up Fox-Naomi tonight. Naomi dominates, but Alicia wins by fucking up and then cheating with a sunset flip counter out of the ropes.  Human Friend hypes up the Cole-HHH clip from the site interview, and they show a quick clip of it. HHH says that Ryback was in SS at the end...nope, he wasn't. New Day does an SD hype promo hyping up THE NEW DAY on Thursdays. I've never noticed Big E's giant scar on his right knee.

Tom Phillips talks about the UK getting the Network. Ambulance match recap leads to Bray talking. He'll be in the Rumble match. Usos THE CHAMPIONS are out first, followed by Gold and the very green Stardust. They hyped up Bryan's return for the first new SD on Thursdays, so they're at least hyping it up well. Mizes, the former champions, come out last. Cody's going to regret all the hopping around he does. Dude's already got a bad knee, his pay is going down, and he's in a go-nowhere gimmick - no need to needlessly risk your body doing stupid things. Miz gets beaten up. Cody gets beaten up. Mizdow throws himself out and it's USO CRAZY time on the floor. Falling Star to Miz and an Uso. Miz boots Stardust for 2. Love Mizdow's kip up after the back/neckbreaker combo. Great lariat on the floor from Goldust. Mizdow is a great little babyface here.Blind tag sets up a double superkick party to Goldust. Final Cut to Mizdow. Uso turns it into a cradle for 2.5. JBL hypes up Goldust being an NWA, WCW, and WWE Tag Team Champion. Stardust kept a low bridge going for too long so Goldust could sail over. Superfly dive to Goldust gets the win. Really fun match.

BAD NEWS BARRETT with cape and pyro came out. They recap him winning the IC Title only due to the Authority after losing initially. HE'S GOT SOME GOOD NEWS - he's the IC Champion. Barrett invites Dolph out for his rematch BUT YOU GOT FIRED! "Moving on rapidly, I'm entering the Royal Rumble match!" and he'll be the WWE Champion after that. This is some sweet gear for Sin Cara - half black and white pants with blue trim on the belt. Barrett boots him and gets the chinlock. Phillips says that Barrett is now a FIVE TIME IC Champion and that's rarified air with HHH, RVD, and Jericho. Winds of Change gets 2. Wasteland is countered into a sunset flip for 2. Sin Cara gets the kick and the swanton FOR THE WIN! Well, if this was leading to anything, it isn't too bad a deal because you at least try to elevate someone. Instead, Barrett just kills him - so you get two guys who aren't over instead of one! This, according to Tom, is an example of why Barrett has such a good chance to win the Rumble. WHAT!?

Cole buries Pay-Per-View and pawns that blame off on JBL who goes into why you should buy it just on the Network, although with them saying it's EXCLUSIVE on the Network is a bit odd. If it's exclusive, why bury PPV, and if it's not, why bury the method that results in people spending $60 instead of 10? Raw is Firing recap is next. First, a Total Divas ad. Even with Paige on the show, I have no desire to watch. They show the final comments of the fired guys, who sure are getting a lot of air time. Cole ties all of this into ROMAN REIGNS THE BIG DOG having to find a partner tonight. Bryan hype graphic airs.

THE BIG SHOW AND SETH ROLLINS GET NO INTRO for the main event. The Big Dog Juggernaut came down and then Ambrose just strolled out. No hype. Just his theme playing, and he's fine from the ambulance match. Faces run wild and the heels scurry to regroup on the floor for eons while the faces just stand around and let them. ATTACK THEM DAMMIT. Love Dean running wild and Show saying that he'll knock his crazy ass out too. Slap and jab combo to Seth leads to Show saving him for an ad break. During the break, Show PUNCHED DEAN'S KNEE. Love it. Great spot. J and J attacks Dean on the floor. Dean is great in the Ricky Morton role. Love Dean bumping for a punch from Show to the gut. DEAN FIGHTS BACK WITH FOREARMS! Great stuff. Tornado DDT hits. Roman's in. DOUBLE SUPERMAN PUNCH to J and J. Chokeslam hits Roman. Flying dropkick from Dean to Show and now a flying elbow to the pile on the floor. Roman avoids the stomp and closes SmackDown once again pinning Seth Rollins.

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