Saturday, January 31, 2015

TNA Greatest Matches: Bully Ray

I love this revamped sleep schedule I'm back on. I'm going to sleep pretty much right after shows end, so I'm up nice and early and have way more energy. In rewatching a bit of Unlocked here, I see that Tommy's pants split on the leg. Poor guy. Anyway, today's show has Team Garett vs. Team Bischoff from LockDown 2012 and Bully vs. Abyss from Genesis 2012, so...I guess I'll be watching that. But first, TNA can't spell "similar".

 JB puts over Bully Ray as having an amazing 2012 and the first match will be Monster's Ball against Abyss followed by Lethal Lockdown. We get full intros for this, including Bully bullying Val and all of the weapons around ringside, including a barb wire board. Abyss has his bell ringing theme here, which I didn't like at the time, but I rather like now. There's even pyro and fans going crazy. Man is it amazing how quickly this company has fallen in three years. Direct's logo is still on the apron unblurred, so they're getting some free advertising here. Bully stalls and we get an ad break.


Bully and Abyss get into a chair fencing battle that Bully wins, but he eats a clothesline and a chokeslam. Bully gets up and grabs the chain out of his pocket, which Abyss blocks with a chair. Abyss puts the chair down after using it and decides to go with a trash can lid before grabbing a staple gun and cheese grater. Bully whips him with the chain right across the back. Can shots to Bully's head. Bully clotheslines him down. Abyss leaves to get Janice to counter Bully's kendo stick. Bully leaves and Abyss follows him. They've got all this equipment visible on the stage - you'd think they'd cover it with a tarp. They brawl to the ring again before Bully rakes the eyes. Bully's got a barb wire board, but chooses a cookie sheet to the back. Bully counters a whip and sends Abyss into a barb wire board. Now Abyss gets the board across the face and it hits the railing with fans trying to touch it. That's a definite flaw with that whole setup. Abyss's arm is all sliced up and he tosses the grater in.  Abyss grabs the bag of tacks and another one with glass. Grater to the nads leads to an ad break off of a wacky Bully face.

We get more plugs for Lockdown leading to this being about the 10th time I've seen Hardy's bump ON TNA PROGRAMMING before the first actual airing of the match. I get why they would do this since it is a reason to watch the show to see the whole thing, but it's based around one bump - and they've shown it a ton. We come back to annoying loud music playing and Abyss gets the tacks out and spread on the mat. Bully low blows his way out of a chokeslam before yelling "OH MY BALLS!" and going on a Joe Pesci rant on the floor. Bully sets up a table, but eats a chokeslam through it and Abyss gets 2.9. Abyss grabs a wider, but shorter barb wire board than before while someone yells at him to throw it over since he's struggling to get it in the ring. Bully grabs a table leg, but Abyss punches it out of his hands. Bully side slams him into the board for 2. Barb wire board sandwich to Abyss leads to THE SENTON OFF THE SECOND ROPE HITTING! Holy shit chant is kept in and this gets 2.9. Bully grabs Janice, but Abyss chokeslams him on the tacks for 2. Taz says that Bully's got all these tacks in his back before saying yeah, well he's got a shirt on too. Bully canes him with some stiff shots to the back and then a nasty one to the back of his head. Taz says the more you're hit with it the more it hurts since the bamboo splits apart and slices you. Black Hole Slam on the board gets the win for Abyss out of nowhere. Lethal Lockdown hype for this show leads to YET ANOTHER AIRING OF THE BUMP AD.


Gunner starts off against Garett, because of course he needs to go 25 minutes in a match with AJ Styles in it. Taz talks about MISTER INTENSITY, so this nickname's going on three years old now. Tenay talks about Garett's extensive history with MISTER INTENSITY. Gunner eats a missile dropkick and Gunner gets a clothesline after that. Gunner gets some rope-assisted stomps. Gunner nails a running knee to Garettt in the corner before choking him with his boot as he's prone in the ropes. Heels have the man advantage, so we'll get a heel out - it's Bully. He gets a running boot to the chest while Gunner holds him. Garett's head is pinned against the bottom rope, so Gunner stomps on it. Bully no-sells Garett's punches leading to Gunner jumping him. Now Bully sells, but eats a shot. Crowd's chanting for Aries loudly. Shockingly, he holds the X Title here. Aries is out and we get an ad break. Yet another Lockdown ad with THE FALL.

We miss all but the last 10 seconds of Aries' portion as they've cut this match down. Kaz comes down and runs wild on Aries. Lots of punches and turnbuckle bonks. Big clothesline from Bully to Garett. AJ's theme hits, and it's one of the bad remixes, but I love him just taking off the hoodie and not just doing a wacky bit since his team needs him. AJ runs wild on Bully in the corner, but Bully runs him down with a bodyblock. Aries has the worst gear yet in TNA - weird shiny silver and black stuff with pink accents. Big elbow to Bully from Aries. The lineup for this match is brilliant since it's full of good workers, but the focus is to get Garett over. Daniels is out with really generic music. Kaz and Daniels bonk AJ into the cage. Garett is chucked into the cage hard by Gunner leading to the crowd chanting ONE MORE TIME. Bully gets a double axehandle off the top to AJ and then one to Garett. Gunner dives off the second rope mid-cage with an Austin/Bret elbow to Garett. Anderson's out and Daniels sells a punch before he throws it. Whoops.

He gets a series of elbows to Daniels Bully and AJ exchange punches and AJ powers him up and just throws him down. Double backdrop to AJ from Kaz and Daniels. Aries gets the rope neckbreaker to Daniels. Eric's out to be the last guy for his team. He's in black jeans, a black t-shirt, and has the all-grey hair with salt and pepper beard. Eric holds him and has Bully chop the Bischoff tattoo. Crowd continues to chant for Garrett's destruction. Gunner chops him and Kaz hits a pump kick. The final face is RVD and once he's out, we'll get Lethal Lockdown. Eric's got quite a gut on him here. ROB VAN DAM - THE WHOLE F'N SHOW is out and we get an ad break.

 RVD's in and the cage is lowering. There's a guitar in there despite Jarrett not being in it. Eric hides on the apron. AJ grabs the hockey stick and hits Bully. Can lid shots from Anderson. Aries dives off the top with a lid shot to Bully. Garett's down on the opposite side with his dad and AJ and Aries bring Eric into the ring. Aries slams him and skins the face with his boots. Gunner prevents a five star frog splash to Eric. Aries gets the discus forearm, but eats a press slam into the cage from Bully. Anderson Finlay rolls Bully onto Daniels. AJ and Kaz fight up top before going to the cage ceiling. AJ kicks him down and hits an elbow. Five star to Kaz! Bully grabs a chair but eats a Van Daminator. Angel's Wings to RVD. Garett hits a snapmare driver to Daniels, but Eric canes him a ton. This is a bit unsettling. Crowd chants for blood - well, Garett's welts are nastier than that. Garett guitars Eric and gets the win - so fuck you everyone who worked hard in this, Garett has to win with Jarrett's signature and Taz talks about how Eric can't even use the Bischoff name anymore. Wow what a stupid part of the angle. The hard workers did their best, but this just wasn't structured in a way to be really good - it was all a backdrop to Eric and Garett having maybe three minutes of action.

Screens -

1 comment:

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