Thursday, January 29, 2015

WWE SmackDown Live 1-29-15

After the craziness of the past week, we get a live SmackDown that might wind up being really important with the regular Raw being scrapped. Generic show intro begins things. Show faces Roman due to Roman taking him out of the Rumble. King says that Kane-Bryan is an all-time feud and IT ENDS TONIGHT IN THE CASKET MATCH. HHH, the top heel, comes out smirking and jolly. HHH says WELCOME TO MONDAY NIGHT RAW, but cracks jokes about the snowstorm. HHH says that WWE doesn't like to be told what to do and he hypes up that they do what people think they can't - like getting ONE MILLION SUBSCRIBERS TO THE WWE NETWORK! HHH got a cheap pop for saying Hartford. WELCOME TO THURSDAY SMACKDOWN LIVE. This man's a heel. He told a bunch of ball jokes about the NFL. HHH says the Rumble event was spectacular and after they boo, he puts over the title match being a showcase for Seth being the future, Cena being the past, and Brock is THE BEAST. HHH says the roof was hanging off the rafters and folks were going nuts from the back and to the front of the building. They talk a bit about the controversy and show Roman taking out Show and Kane and Rock helping him out. HHH says that on Raw, he'll make an announcement that will shake THE WWE UNIVERSE TO ITS CORE!


Roman came down and Cole talked about Roman being just fine with the fans paying their hard earned earn money and booing him and how people are angry he was picked to be THE GUY. Wow. Roman says he won the Rumble, and HHH starts the Show match now. Good to see the guy that performed the City Guys theme get work for this FEBRUARY FREE ad. Roman gets a LET'S GO ROMAN chant and he nods. Damn right he nods. King blames the fans for the reaction and Byron says everyone should be impressed with his resume as Superstar of the Year. This whole thing is bizarre, and NOW COLE IS TALKING ABOUT HOW IMPRESSIVE ROMAN WAS! They punch to the gut a lot and Roman sends Show over the top rope for an ad break.

We come back to Show dominating Roman's knee. I love Show grabbing the leg like a dragon screw and just swatting it away. Standing ankle lock here by Show - this move looks so great. Roman counters with...LOL @ that headscissor. Roman's legs left any part of Show's body and Show sold it too late. Roman Samoan drops him. CHEER THIS MAN DAMMIT! Diving running lariat off the apron to Show on the floor. Byron is actively hurting everything he talks about. COCKED AND LOADED but Show grabs him for the chokeslam and gets 2. Show goes up top and eats two superman punches and a slam off the top. NOM NOM NOM SPEAR!


WHAT ROMAN REIGNS NEEDS IS BIG WINS OVER MAJOR SUPERSTARS AND THEY DON'T COME ANY BIGGER THAN BIG SHOW! Vince says they're in the Fast Lane on the Road to WrestleMania on the WWE Network. Vince invites new subscribers a free month of WWE Network for February and that's it. Everything about the show has reeked of desperation so far. Arnold video. King, please stop with the Arnold impersonation. Seth's out with J and J Security. Oh thank God, he's here to talk. He lost, but he's still got the future in his hands and he issues an open challenge that Ryback accepts. Ryback gets beaten down by the goons before Rowan comes down and bowls through them, leading to Byron to say GOODNESS GRACIOUS! Dolph comes down too. Heels retreat from the war. Kane and piano music met in a very red part of the building and then he caresses the casket while shirtless. Kane's recital of all of these words is impressive and wacky. The Devil's Favorite Dentist was amusing here. AN USO AGAINST SOMEBODY. I pray to God it's a Miz.

Kidd now gets Cesaro's theme. Byron talks about Kidd and Cesaro being a quiet storm no one is paying attention to. Tyson gets a sliding kick to counter a suicide dive, but eats the pop-up Samoan drop. Cesaro's in a basic black shirt - so much for the brass ring shirt. Dropkick to the knee sends Jey into the buckle and the swinging fisherman's neckbreaker wins. Piano music plays while they show THE CASKET. Cena calls out Rusev next.

Popeye's presents a replay of Roman winning the Rumble. Rusev yells and then grabs the mic to talk about THE END OF ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH! Rusev says he should face Brock because he's undefeated and the United States Champion - he raises two valid claims there in theory. Rusev calls Cena a man from the past. Wow is that insane. Cena comes down and says that he and the Universe don't get along all the time, but tonight, they can agree that he should should his mouth or Cena will shut it for him. Cena puts Rusev over as a world-beater who is the U.S. Champion and has beaten everyone. Cena tells him he's the face who runs the place, a ten time Rumble participant, a 15 time world champ who held the U.S. Title before Rusev had pubes and Lana had boobs. Lana tells him to not waste his time on Cena. Paige faces Nikki at Fast Lane for the title. Renee welcomed her guest at this time, Paige. Bellas bullied her. Brie appears to weigh 80 pounds. Where was Nattie?

Gold and Stardust came down and King buried Byron's suit for being on clearance. Ascension are out to face them - so who are the faces and who are the heels here? Fivehead starts against Stardust and Byron says the Ascension wanted to ruffle feathers. Gut attacks Stardust while Byron says that the Ascension has stood the test of time. So after weeks of burying them six feet under, now fans are supposed to take them seriously. I think. Fivehead locked on a chinlock before attacking in the corner. AND NOW BYRON IS BURYING THEM FOR BEING COCKY. FOR GOODNESS SAKE PICK A DIRECTION WITH THESE GUYS AND GO WITH IT. Goldust comes in and runs wild on Fivehead while Byron says Goldust got over the Attitude era with shock and awe, which is just what the Ascension are doing now. Stardust blind tags in, pissing off Goldust, and they lose. I guess they'll finally have their WM match. Kane cackled backstage and closed the casket lid.


They plug Wizard Wars and go to a magician backstage. He does an egg tricky with a hanky and then Miz shows up, the guy's impressed with Mizdow and Miz winds up with egg on his face. Truth's laugh was fantastic. Bray talks about taking smiles away from those that people find nostalgic and next, he'll take away smiles. So he'll help Kane win and the Kane-Taker connection is how we get to Bray-Taker? Kane wheels the casket down.

Bryan's out in his red and silver trim trunks from WM AND THE BRODY BOOTS TOO! Kane tries to shove Bryan into the casket, but he fights off. Bryan tries to get Kane in, but Kane fights him off. Kane avoids the casket by walking to the corner for an ad break. More teases.Bryan gets a skin the cat headscissors, but Kane avoids going into the casket. Bryan gets the dive and goes for some mounted punches. Bryan gets booted in the casket, but he avoids the lid shutting by leaving. Bryan dives off it and eats a throat thrust. Yet another break. This match refuses to end.

Bryan gets a post-break chinlock, because of course he does. Two people chanting ECW for whatever reason. Bryan kicks away and gets the dive again. Bryan gets tossed over the timekeeper's area and he lands almost badly on the chair. Kane chairs Bryan on the back a couple of times. Bryan's bonked off the lid. God the Yes lock in the casket looked awful. More lid stuff. Cro Cop high kick sets up the running knee and BRYAN WINS. THANK GOD, IT'S OVER! Okay, so we've got smiles...Bray's out soon right? Big YES chant on the casket while Cole teases that Bryan could go into the WWE Title match with HHH's announcement.

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