Sunday, May 11, 2014

TNA Impact 2-28-13

Fine opening video, even if it did kind of shine a light on the wackiness on Hulk just picking Hogan after the mini-tourney dealie. I'd completely forgotten about Doc pinning Sting last week. Hulk's vague knee injury remains just as vague after Brooke talked about it for a second. So weird to see the Impact Zone again after getting used to the UK shows. Hardy's hair is quite odd - it's almost a boufant. I dig the BULLY IN LAW sign in the crowd. Bully's decided that 10 days before the PPV is the right time to have a conflict of conscience about if he's the right choice or not. Love Bad Influence interrupting the face love fest - shocked to hear Daniels talk about Hogan running lotion on Brooke. Loved Daniels' Spidey shirt - my Spidey sense is sensing a holla holla tag match. Or maybe it should be a Bully Bully one since he made it. Aces vs. Team TNA graphic looked awful - they just used basic text for TNA instead of the logo. Tara-Sky for the gold is up next, and we've got a KOs gut check later.

Sting, in full getup, met with Magnus in the regular office setting. Magnus is apparently a big fan of Sting, who always mentored him. Would've been nice to mention any of that BEFORE THIS. Tara's dark red gear rules. Tenay said that Gail was sneaky last week - BAD TENAY! Gail was fairly awful on commentary here, and between that and the crazy bullshit with Taryn and Jesse overshadowing the match, this sucked. Aries called Roode about a photoshoot and delivered exposition about them having a 3-way tag with Kaz and Daniels and the Mexicans at the PPV. This was also odd since Aries, THE FORMER WORLD CHAMPION DRIVEN BY HIS QUEST FOR THAT TITLE AGAIN, said he didn't care about matches, only photoshoots. They came back from a break and Kenny King interrupted RVD while making an apple bong, and challenged RVD, who made what seems like a title vs. X division career on free TV and not on PPV.

Aries it out to face Hernandez, back in swank Supermex gear. Tenay hyped up Bellator's app more than WWE does for their own. This was a really fun match since Hernandez is a powerhouse, Aries doesn't mind throwing himself around, and Hernandez can move really well for a guy of his age and size. Loved Aries stealing Eddie's pose, frog splash and doing the lie, cheat, and steal bit to him, then stealing his Supermex taunt after winning. Joseph Park ate some ribs, so now he knows what they are...AND THIS TOTALLY HAPPENED TO BE HIS LUNCH BY COINCIDENCE! I was shocked when Sting said "Matt"...and then it was Morgan, who turned down being in a PPV main event because it would help Hogan.

King-RVD is up next. They did some moves while Todd compared RVD to Gumby and Taz did the DAMMIT, I'M GUMBY bit. Taz talked about RVD and King being so similar. How that's the case I have no idea, and he didn't bother citing anything. RVD teased a five star, then missed a 450 for what seemed like a fucked up nearfall since King just hit his finish to win the title. Well, given the stakes, this made more sense for a PPV, but at least they'll do a rematch on the PPV and hopefully not use Earl again. Sting met with Kurt, in a new Cena/Steen style SAVE WRESTLING 2020 red, white, and blue text shirt - Kurt doesn't approve of one of the possible guys on Sting's team.

They re-showed the deal from last week and showed a grisly Hogan knee surgery scar. Garett looked very...Village People esque with a biker's vest just over his oiled chest. Knox is dressed like a biker lumberjack. Mike Knox is now just KNOX, and Sting's Squadron will face Garett, Devon, Doc, Knox, and Anderson. Devon's got a giant beard now that takes some getting used to. Loved Storm's theme cutting off Devon's "SORRY ABOUT WHAT YA DAMN FOOL" bit. LOLed at Taz talking about Magnus having so little experience compared to the guys in the ring while Garett stood in there. Defintiely wasn't expecting EY back, and I loved how Sting played off of guys' themes and nicknames in the promo. They showed Ivelise from TE's video - it was a lot like the Bellator ones they use, only a bit hokier.

They came back to the Aces being angry and Angle stalking them. The Barbarians niece is going to be Ivelise's opponent - YAY BARBARIAN ON MY TV! She...said words and they played some needlessly dramatic music for her. Ivelise cancelled her MMA fight tomorrow to do this show. Hell, why not try to make her a star on both Bellator and TNA if she can do them both. Tenay cited that this is only the second time KOs have gone for a contract, and that Taeler won BACK IN JUNE. She was "successful" and has only been on TV once in the 8 months since then. Great running rana from Ivie.  Nice win from her off a gulliotine choke. Tapa looked really rough in many ways, but Ivie looked incredible. Aries met with Hardy and wished him look - he came off as incencere, but COULD have been sincere, and I like them keeping Aries in there with the world champ in some form on TV to remind you that he isn't "just" a tag guy. AJ update is up next.

Wendy Jones, AJ's wife was shown, and his friend talked about how different he was all while using his fake name while they showed his real one on his paper clippings. This reminded me of the Roode BFG build until AJ showed up as a badass biker and rode away. "The Southern American Badass" Allen Jones.They recapped the Robbies/Spud angle. Robbie E made an apology and asked Terry to come out. He did and looked like a giant bumblebee in black pants and a yellow sweater. I wonder if bumblebees have steroids in their stingers in the UK. E asked for ONE MORE BRO OFF, BRO! Loved him dancing the car around, then leaving for the bro off, bonking Terry with the VIP picture, and running in fear when it didn't work for long. Aries met with Bully, although he neglected to mention beating him before.

Angle stalked the Aces again and found THEIR CLUBHOUSE! Loved Daniels doing a giant wacky salute, then Bully did the Gangnam Style bit after a double clothesline. Super-fun stuff. Electric chair from Bully led to the swanton and a win. Fun little match - nothing too amazing outside of the comedy though. Angle chased strippers out of the clubhouse, beat up and unmasked the VP, and got beat up by the Aces. TNA got TO THE BACK'd by Bellator.

Screens -




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