Thursday, May 22, 2014

WWE SD 5-22-14

The satellite version of the show hit super-early, so we get to see the announcers come out. JIMMY HART! FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 20 YEARS, HULK HOGAN IS IN A WWE RING! I love Cole and JBL clapping for him - makes it seem like a bigger deal. Hogan pimps Legends House and Duggan's YOOOOO. Or Hoooooo! This was just a WWE Network plug, but a smart one. Dolph's up to face Batista in a no holds barred match. This should be fun! Batista went for a tackle in the barricade, but missed - I'm amazed to see him do stuff like that on his way out. Dolph's attacking with a chair. Batista on the way out winds up caring so much more - it's odd. Dolph hits a short fameasser that looks better than the Henry one. JBL says this win would be an upset for Dolph...yup! JBL burying Cole for "not working" was hilarious, as was Cole saying "I had 500 pounds of men on top of me!"  Dolph counters a Batista bomb on the steps, on the floor, IN THE SECOND MATCH OF SMACKDOWN, with a low blow. Fameasser attempt on the steps results in Dolph appearing to sprain an ankle on the landing. Throws him in and kills him with the Batista Bomb. BO-LIEVE! Bellas face the Dactyls with Summer as the ref. Why are two face teams having a match with a heel ref? Why isn't any of this being explained? Cameron wins with a cradle and a fast count from Summer. This might make sense when it airs on Total Divas, but it makes no sense now.

Bo's titantron is amazing, with ship launches and skies all around. His theme is glorious too. Bo is the fattest 217 pounder in human history. His BO-LIEVE stuff got no reaction. He's facing Sin Cara. Nice lariat from Bo. Run up the buckle bulldog is his finisher...really now!? Good God this was just not good. Bo's victory lap did him no favors with the slow-mo jelly rolls. Bray cuts a promo on the Usos, who his team will face later. Alberto faces Sheamus with Heyman and Cesaro on commentary. Cesaro said he's a better U.S. Champion than Sheamus ever was. Well, he was over and had a great act then, so yeah. Sheamus and Alberto had a match, and Cesaro caused a DQ by attacking Sheamus and hitting a Neutralizer on the floor. The best thing ever happened afterwards - Cesaro took Sheamus's limp hand and shook it! Rose was wacky with Vickie. Usos came out with Cena in their corner. Cole kept trying to get Bray-washed over as a thing. STOP DOING THAT. Nice running dropkick by an Uso onto Rowan. Cena was a great cheerleader. Great spot with an Uso ducking a lariat for the assalanche, but then eating a boot. Bray tosses an Uso off the top leading to a DQ. Cena leaves the family laying and...yeah that was a show.

Screens -

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