Tuesday, May 13, 2014

WWE Main Event 5-13-14

Renee Young and PAUL HEYMAN are starting off Main Event. I'd have hyped a Heyman promo up beforehand. Love the never-ending mention of the streak being conquered, and using it against the people for being in denial about history. Sheamus threatened violence, and Heyman scolded him for assaulting him in front of a lady! Heyman yelled at Sheamus to hit him...and then Paul left right before the count ran down. Cesaro attacks with the Neutralizer. Fuck. Cesaro just might be losing this. Dolph faces Sandow next, for some reason. They recapped the idiocy of Damien as Magneto. Oh yeah, Dolph was in there. They had a match after Damien "had his mic cut.". Can they come up with a new way to get that point across? It was stupid eons ago on Impact with VKM, and it's dumb now. Dolph damn near sent himself over the top just hopping up for the super-fast mounted punches - SLOW THE FUCK DOWN dude. Educator from Sandow! Zig Zag gets the win. They hyped up Shield-Evolution for Paybck with some sleek graphics.

Emma came out and a fat guy in a pink shirt danced. Crowd death here. Alicia Fox came out...didn't she quit on the app? They seem to be doing some NXT divas vs. WWE divas or something. She grabbed a mic - oh good. ANOTHER SHOOTER GIMMICK. At least Alicia ditched the WWE logo on it. Then she bonked Emma with the mic. They're doing the same pre-match beating>ref asks if the face can continue gimmick. Alicia countered the Emmamite sandwich with feet to the gut - so she's prepared for her three spots. Emma got a flash schoolgirl and won. Alicia is getting over more with losing, and by accident, than most WWE acts do on purpose with wins. She went to Chimel, said I LOVE THIS MAN, and slapped him. THEN SHE SANG WE ARE FAMILY and demanded wallets! Alicia singing and holding up the commentators = buys! AND SHE'S SHUTTING UP THE COMMENTATORS! Heck of a face turn here. They went backstage and had Sheamus say words - BOO! We got a tale of the tape for Cesaro-Sheamus - nice touch! Bryan's drama last night was recapped. The state of the title will be brought up on Raw - so they're wisely waiting until after the operation to make a move on it, and that plays into the angle nicely since Steph's at least acting nice on the surface.

Sheamus-Cesaro is up with Sheamus coming out. Cesaro has a new white jacket with black towel that looks pretty swank. Sheamus and Cesaro had a really fun European uppercut exchange - Sheamus doesn't usually bust those out, so this was nice to see. Sheamus is now "The Dublin Brawler". Fantastic Heyman facepalm during the clubbering. RUNNING YAKUZA KICK from Cesaro in the corner! Nice it's like a standing face wash! Rolling fireman's carry hits, still called a rolling senton despite not being a senton. Cloverleaf gets countered into a small package for 2. I could really get behind this as a World title program - shame it's stuck in the WWE Title, giving them one less possible drawing card for a PPV. Brogue countered into the German suplex for 2! Neutralizer avoided, turned into White Noise for 2.9! Sheamus hit an ugly crossbody off the top. Daring move that made the match seem like a big deal, but too scary to watch him do regularly. They brawled INTO THE UNIVERSE for a double countout. As a main  event finish, this sucked, but neither guy could lose - and they kept brawling. Sheams got hit with a chair from Heyman, but then hit Cesaro with the kick - so the face kinda sorta won here.

Screens -


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