Friday, March 7, 2014

SD 3-7-14

The Bryan-Authority video package on Main Event opened this show. I hadn't noticed the "you wouldn't have your underdog persona" line from Steph, that odd thing there. It's basically just saying " you wouldn't have that character without us as your antagonists". This video was still four minutes long, and it's only the first bit of filler on the show. Bootista came out in a black leather vest, shades, and grey-ish/black skinny jeans with a black belt. "What the WWE fans wants is Daniel Bryan!" - so now they're having Cole hype up that Bryan could be taking a spot in the title match. According to Batista, Dolph's "looking to make a name for himself". Heck of a burial for a former world champ. "I'm YOUR SUPERHERO! I'M THE MAN YOU PAID TO SEE. But I'm humble - I don't need you to cheer me!" Bootista rules! Bryan buried the skinny jeans and said they're cutting off his circulation, and then Bryan said something wrong because they did some terrible ADR and a crowd shot for an "on Monday" mention.  Heel prick Batista is so great. THE MOMENT I STEPPED INTO THE WWE UNIVERSE AGAIN, IT BECAME MINE! I'M ALLOWING YOU TO EXIST IN MY UNIVERSE! Bryan said he didn't want to be in a vest wearing, belly button tattoo-having universe and then shit was on! Mr Kane walked down and undressed...shouldn't HR hear about that? He and Batista attacked Bryan until Show came down to help him. This could've been a cool way to have him return from the Brock beating, but instead, they just had him on Raw with Betty White and on a panel. Vickie made a holla holla tag. The Shield Summit is tonight.

The Raw hype vid talked about Bryan-HHH and Hogan's big announcement, which will hopefully be that if Bryan beats HHH, he gets a spot in the title match. Christian's out for a match and Alberto's on commentary. Match is against Dolph. SLINGSHOT INTO THE STEPS FROM CHRISTIAN. Well that was great. A safe bump for Dolph to take craziily and it was fine for an ad break. Cole put over Alberto being an MITB winner and world and WWE Champion...boy does he not feel like a guy who in theory has reached the peak of main eventing. Dolph got a comeback with a jaw jacker. Hard to believe Christian's been back for five years and...JBL's back to burying his face. Evan Bourne had better hope he doesn't get called up - they'll do nothing but insult him. Christian's at least been someone worthy of being in the WWE HOF. Christian went for the shittiest double leg with the ropes takedown ever - not even hooking the legs and getting caught immediately. Super X Factor led to 2 while Alberto got on the table and the Killswitch. Cole called this "a slight distraction", so yeah, Dolph's an idiot. They said this was revenge for Raw, which I'd forgotten about until they mentioned it. Christian had a yelling '80s mid-card heel promo with Renee and then rightfully pointed out that Sheamus is an angry guy. They talked about Heyman dropping a pipe bomb in Chicago to hype up the Henry attack recap...Punk has to be back.

Recap of the Usos title win led to them having a match with Rybaxel. They had Cole do a VO about the Main Event deal with Dogg being hurt and them facing the Matadores. They hyped up Main Event as just airing on the Network and didn't mention Ion at all...I get that the deal's about over, but why go out of your way to piss them off and give them reasons to not WANT to renew it? If you're going to just shoot the show anyway, it's free money. Nice arm work by Axel. Shame about his balding spot though - very Muta-esque. Ryback did a splash and missed, leading to the Usos gaining steam. JBL said that soon, Rikishi would be known as their dad, which was...odd, and JBL then said it was due to them being a bigger star than him - nice and logical reasoning there instead of him trying to talk his way out of bullshit. Superfly dive got the win on Ryback. Poor Ryback. Cole put over their winning streak, winning the titles on Monday, and defending them on Tuesday before taking out Rybaxel tonight. Hopefully this bodes well for them and it doesn't lead to them being booked like the IC Champ. They showed Heyman's promo, but just the parts about him wanting the streak over - while in Indian style. THE UNDERTAKER RETURNS ON RAW. WHY ON PLANET EARTH WOULD YOU NOT SAY THAT ON RAW INSTEAD OF SD!? Bearer HOF vid is up after the break.

WWE WAS SOCIALLY NUMBER 1 VIA RAW. God bless Punk. Kane and his hairy chest were interviewed by Byron and brought up Bryan's history of anger problems and an inferiority complex...quite true. Nattie and Eva, who I guess is a face now, faced AJ and Tamina. Holy God the headlock takeover by Tamina and Eva. THAT STARTED THE MATCH. JBL immediately questioned the wisdom of this. JBL buried Cole for the blonde tips in his hair, when he was skinny, so Cole buried him for being fat too. Be stars, guys. After what seemed like centuries, Nattie got a tag and snap suplexed AJ a ton. Her heart-shaped mesh in the gear is nice. Great shouldermount Michinoku driver as well. Nattie countered a sunset flip into the Sharpshooter. This was an entertaining match, that's for sure. NOW they're getting to Bearer.

Shield Summit is the hour 1 main event, with no Seth... They recapped him leaving the team on Raw. Dean cut a promo about Seth leaving his brothers in the middle of a war, and since Seth called the summit, he should be out here. I liked them having Dean and Roman as a united front here since they were the two you'd think would have the first major issues. No barricade hopping from Seth. Seth said he had to leave to prove a point - the war wasn't with the Wyatts, it was amongst themselves and said he said he sacrificed himself so they could get on the same page. Dean said what he did was get fought off, while Seth just walked off. Seth said that hey, now Roman and Dean are united again - his mission is halfway accomplished. They teased THE END OF THE SHIELD here on SD with no hype. Seth cut an awesome promo about kicking down walls and if they're united again, no one can take them out! The crowd popped huge for the heel group taking over the company. Dean was a dick to Seth, so he shoved him down and then Roman shoved Dean down. Then Seth slapped the shit out of Dean. Seth said that's out of his system, so he's willing to take a shot...and did. This was great. It was like a group of friends who know they need to fight a bit to save the friendship. Roman and Seth showed solidarity and then Dean joined in. HUGE pop for this. THIS GROUP RULES. Sheamus faces Alberto for some reason. Didn't they already have a match recently?

They came back and Sheamus came out - Alberto got no intro. Finlay roll by Sheamus. Arm stuff from break... Alberto kicked Sheamus's arm after they came back. They talked about Sheamus also being a former WWE and World Champion, and then Sheamus hit the 10 Beats of the Drum spot before getting hit with the grounded superkick on the apron. Double arm Codebreaker led to the armbar. Even in a mid-card SD match, it's not a finish. Backlund lift WITH THE BAD ARM... Sheamus got locked into it again and got to the ropes. Brogue kick got the win. Sheamus was all bruised up and had his mouth busted up. Harper cut a nice promo before Bray began his rap. AFTER ALL KIDS, WHAT WOULD JOHN CENA BE WITHOUT HIS LEGACY! THE WORLD IS MY TEACHER AND I AM WHAT YOU MADE ME...Yeah, Bray rules. Big Dave and his greying beard cut a solemn promo about cutting through Bryan and being able to focus on Orton, who isn't A REAL MAN!

They hyped up Main Event on Tuesday. They're hyping the show up more now that the TV deal is ending than they have since it began. They ran down the WWE Network panel, with Booker, Hacksaw, and Riley. Rusev came out and did nothing, just like Raw and SD last week. They talked about him debuting at the Rumble, which was kinda stupid, even with them saying it took four guys to get rid of him. OH MY GOD MORE TALKING. It's 9:40 and we don't even have intros. On the upside, we get a shot of Bryan's maroon yes hoodie, which rules. Big Show yucked it up and said he should get some skinny jeans like Dave and tried to get "Respect the Beard, Fear the Giant" over as... a thing. Nope. At 9:45, they hyped up Taker on Raw and even Kane and Dave got jobber intros. JBL hyped up the WWE Network so you could watch Brock demolish people to possibly see the streak end. I should watch Brock-HHH at ER and his match against Punk later. Cole in his interview said that EVERYONE thinks HHH is afraid of Bryan. Cole tried to get the goofy Bryan/Show team name over. JBL buried that and said they're the Donkey and Shrek. That's stupid, and still better than the one they came up with. Show hit the clunkiest suplex to Batista and Kane, dropping Batista on his head. Bryan dove onto both heels. Match went two minutes before an ad break. I'm beginning to think they had no faith in this match. They came back and Show chopped Batista, then ate Bryan's kicks before hitting the spinebuster for 2. A big "you can't wrestle" chant broke out for a second. JBL said that HHH has faced SOME OF THE BEST EVER, while Cole put him over as one of the best ever in the ring. And Cole said HHH would NEVER GET OVER LOSING AT WM. JBL put him over for facing the Warrior. Shocked they didn't bring up Taker. Spear to Bryan. Cro Cop kick gives Bryan an opening for a tag. Flying shoulder block from Show. Air Goat hits for 2. Show ran over Batista to take him out. They teased a recreation of the Bryan-Kane finish, but the KO punch changed things up for a win with a different move.

Screens -

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