The filler is the Snuka-Piper deal from the Pit! Well, it's tremendously racist, but definitely enthralling. They start with HHH talking about Mayweather hitting Show, then go through the basic intro to show Ali and Monsoon getting it on verbally mid-ring. This led to a (shocking) GREAT PROMO FROM ALI. Tyson-Austin was shown with the bird unblurred. Floyd talks about basically having a WWE act, but he happens to be a boxer. Floyd using a million dollars in cash as a foot rest is amazing. They hyped up Show by talking about Andre...yeah...They talked about Show stepping about in '07 to heal, an then coming back in '08. Shane got credit for brokering the deal. Show talked about it being Rey and Batista against Show and Mayweather. HHH talked about the walkthrough going fine...and then Floyd hitting him with six shots. "Show's just fucking plowing through guys!" - HHH rules. They had some backstage footage of Show being tended to and him being on Conan with a wacky sax version of his theme.
MYSPACE went crazy with it, and apparently Facebook and Twitter did too. They talked about Floyd and HHH clicking. HHH taught Floyd how to work. It's hard to believe this was six years ago - I still remember Mauro on the LAW talking about how awesome this was during the No Way Out hype. They talked about the weigh-in before, which Booker pointed out was incredibly stupid. Roman hyped this up and looked fly all dressed up. I completely forgot about Floyd being chucked over the top onto dudes - I'm amazed they didn't have at least 20 dudes out there to catch him. Time for the match. These intros rule. Floyd's pyro is still a favorite of mine. It's amazing that they got Floyd in an actual match during his prime. This dude in the white suit is annoying saying the same shit over and over. I completely forgot about Mayweather using chairshots to the head, which even being done by him seem a bit much. Love the knucks prop giving Floyd the KO win here - perfect finish. BOOKER T IS SHOPPING! "If ya can't stand the Harlem Heat, GET OUTTA THE KITCHEN!" Booker is so likeable. He's COOKER T around the house.
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
WWE Main Event 4-29-14
Adrian Neville and Superstars get a hype video. Superstars has TWO EXCLUSIVE MATCHES! Show starts off with ADR against Goldust, which thanks to the Cody loss actually has some importance. ADR took the kneepad down for the superkick...why he does this, I have no idea. Goldust countered the kneeling superkick with a dragon screw, hits a final cut suplex/neckbreaker and...wins!? Really!? This only took a couple of minutes. Renee pondered if the bros. were going their separate ways - GOLDUST SCOLDED NEE NEE! Cody's right knee is in a giant brace. Cody...exposited about Goldust winning meaning he's jealous, despite nothing to set that up. THE BROTHERHOOD WILL STAY TOGETHER. So they're breaking up right after the PPV. Video package recapped World Wish Day, and most importantly, how much WWE does for Make-A-Wish. The 3-on-1 US Title match for SD is now a fatal 4 way, with the Shield banned from ringside. Paige came out to a tepid reaction. Alicia and #demhips came down to face her. Remember when Finlay and Benoit did an inside-out lockup on PPV? Well they tried this on Main Event and we're lucky there wasn't a snapped neck. Nice rana off the apron to the floor from Paige. Paige did the knee lift stuff but while standing in the ring. Looked terrible. Paige used the 187, or whatever Konnan's head-dropped cradle DDT was, to win. Then Tamina and Paige had a ramp staredown. This had nothing. Tamina looks to be about Paige's height next to her, and she looks much older. YAY CHOIR RECAP TIME! IF BRAY WYATT ESCAPES THE CAGE, SO DOES HIS MESSAGE!...WHAT!? Sheamus cut a promo about ghosts and goblins. Oh yeah, he's facing Bray.
Kofi's out in neon green and they're talking about him being a 10-time champion. HE'S GOT SOME BAD NEWS - a match with the linear champion of the world, BAD NEWS BARRETT! He insulted Big E a lot, so E's winning. He'll retain his IC Title and WIN THE LINEAR WORLD TITLE! Kofi hits a really shitty cradle, then a shittier dropkick to the gut that Barrett sells too early. Kofi dives off the steps INTO THE BULL HAMMER. BNB WINS! This Demon Unleashed graphic is begging for a Brazzers logo. Recap of the Kane stuff from Raw didn't make it seem any less stupid. Bray sang, so Sheamus's theme interrupted. Now his theme's being a dick. The dry toast announcers talked about being JUST FEET AWAY FROM FANS WHO ARE SINGING WITH BRAY. Only they're chanting for Sheamus.Sheamus couldn't get the tilt-a-whirl, so Bray hit a uranage. Abigail was countered into White Noise, and he honestly had less trouble with Show than Wyatt with that. This match is rough around the edges, but really good. Irish curse gets 2! Sheamus gets him up for a shoulder-mount powerslam! Yet another this is awesome chant. Brogue misses, and Bray hits Abigail as a result. Awesome match! Usos save Sheamus, so there should be an SD 6-Man tag here or just a tag match.
Screens -
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/shghclhym97w4i7z8x8e6fy0l455grf8
Kofi's out in neon green and they're talking about him being a 10-time champion. HE'S GOT SOME BAD NEWS - a match with the linear champion of the world, BAD NEWS BARRETT! He insulted Big E a lot, so E's winning. He'll retain his IC Title and WIN THE LINEAR WORLD TITLE! Kofi hits a really shitty cradle, then a shittier dropkick to the gut that Barrett sells too early. Kofi dives off the steps INTO THE BULL HAMMER. BNB WINS! This Demon Unleashed graphic is begging for a Brazzers logo. Recap of the Kane stuff from Raw didn't make it seem any less stupid. Bray sang, so Sheamus's theme interrupted. Now his theme's being a dick. The dry toast announcers talked about being JUST FEET AWAY FROM FANS WHO ARE SINGING WITH BRAY. Only they're chanting for Sheamus.Sheamus couldn't get the tilt-a-whirl, so Bray hit a uranage. Abigail was countered into White Noise, and he honestly had less trouble with Show than Wyatt with that. This match is rough around the edges, but really good. Irish curse gets 2! Sheamus gets him up for a shoulder-mount powerslam! Yet another this is awesome chant. Brogue misses, and Bray hits Abigail as a result. Awesome match! Usos save Sheamus, so there should be an SD 6-Man tag here or just a tag match.
Screens -
Monday, April 28, 2014
Raw 4-28-14
Santino is sadly on the pre and post-show. If he's in character, it'll be terrible A-Ry starts off quoting Nelly! The WM Blu-Ray hits 5/13 according to the tron. He's in-character. Shit. Recap of the Steph-Bryan-Kane deal. Bray-Cena recap...Evolution-Shield recap. Now we're getting an IC Title recap. There's no analysis going on - everyone gets about a sentence. Thank God, it's BAD NEWS BARRETT. And he's got some GOOD NEWS - he's going to be a 4-time IC Champion. Oh lord, now Emma's here and he says she's his girlfriend - A FRIEND WHO IS A GIRL. Cena-Wyatt gets the opening recap video for the go-home show. A cage was mid-ring for Cena to run into and cut a promo. Cena has his serious face on. Cena asked why. WHY WAS HE PUT IN A 3-ON-ONE HANDICAP MATCH. Crowd answered "you suck". Tremendous. Cena has the acting skills of Calculon here. Cena talked about being DRAFTED TO RAW nearly ten years ago. And he got the biggest ovation ever! Now, NOW THEY BOO. WHY!? He quoted the Dark Knight, and then a choir sang "the whole world in his hands" song. Although they only miced one girl, so it sounded like Bray transformed into a black girl. I love the visual of them following Bray down the aisle and surrounding the cage. Bray should've done the kid thing at the PPV so John couldn't escape. HOLY SHEEP MASKS! THEY ALL HAVE SHEEP MASKS. Next thing you know, they'll be doing the drugs! John is distraught. This was both awesome and hilarious - very memorable bit. I love that the entirety of the first 20 minutes was devoted to just this feud. Cole said THIS IS NOW ALMOST AN EPIDEMIC! They were going for a dark message here, but Cena isn't the guy to convey it. Same thing with WM, and that wasn't so much dark as it was...somewhat complex and requiring subtle acting.
Tag title match got the big (guy) match intro. Double dive set up an injury angle for Jey. Great front-facing knee to Jimmy from Axel. Great counter of a double superplex leading to him throwing Axel onto Ryback's gut. Jey got in and took a deadlift Saito suplex from Axel and a Ryback spinebuster for 2. Ryback pulled the straps down. THE STATE of the roid belly on Ryback. Wow. Axel got a perfect plex, but a blind tag allowed the other Uso to dive and win. Great finish. They talked about Dish and DirecTV not airing the PPV, but don't worry - JUST GET THE NETWORK! A Kenny Powers ad for MLB 14 The Show aired. Oh wow that ruled.
Adam Rose debuts on Raw next week. Heyman said he takes his clients to the top...right after Rybaxel lost. The Steph-filled Kane-Bryan recap aired again. WAY TOO MUCH STEPH in this. The camera panned to...Kane's mask in a glass case because Kane's apparently not there. I'm all for that - the feud peaked last week, just end the build there.Titus jumped Sheamus and whooped his ass for a while before getting kicked...so boy is it ever great that they broke up the PTPs. Kofi did a Network ad explaining what it is...two months after it launched.
Dolph's out in his shirt and a black blazer. He's excited about hot babes in tiny bikinis and THE NEW X-MEN MOVIE! Then he and Hugh had awkward banter. SANDOW CAME OUT DRESSED AS MAGNETO! I love the crowd chanting KNOCK HIM OUT and Sandow demanding that they don't tell him what to do! Then things got...sillier as he tried to use THE POWER OF MAGNETISM, got hip tossed and Zig-Zagged. This was entertaining.
IT'S RAW EPISODE ONE THOUSAND NINETY TWO! WOOHOO! Enough with that bullshit. Heyman had a great joke to start off his promo. Knock knock - who's there? MIKE. MIKE-LIENT BROCK LESNAR ENDED THE STREAK. And Cesaro won the Andre the Giant battle royal! ROLLING KARELIN LIFTS! Shame they took stuff out like that in the WWE games. Crowd's dead for this. Heyman grabbed the stache and Cesaro won with a deadlift German suplex right out of FPR. Boy is his moveset perfect for that game.
Recap of the Bray singing bit led to Renee asking John his reaction TO WHAT WE JUST SAW OUT THERE. An hour ago. An ad for Rush aired - I thought it was for Royal Pains. OH NO, IT'S THE PAN OF KANE'S MASK AGAIN! And I think King repeated his exact same line from before with that. Alberto's facing Cody for some reason. Crowd is dead for this too, shockingly. They were hot for Cena, should've cared about Cesaro, but nope. These guys have no chance. Goldust has his WM gear on. JBL talked about getting his haircut and toes done. They did every signature move they have in a few minutes, and Cody eventually tapped to the armbar - so he's turning heel on Goldust. Cody left looking all pissy.
Heyman and Cesaro spoke. YAY LANA! Lana demanded a Rusev crushing AND IT HAPPENED. Then Truth attacked. The faces got the edge here slightly, so it was smart booking to make you think they had a prayer. Cena met with Make a Wish kids. This video was hard to get through after hearing about the MAW kid that passed away. Rob talked with Renee and didn't say the word dude once. Zeb offered a spot in the Real Americans to RVD, but he declined.
Matadores are facing 3MB. On the PPV pre-show, it'll be Hornswoggle facing Torito in a WEELC match. JBL said he said Hornswoggle eating mushrooms to grow like Mario. Slater won! Loved Cole saying this was his first win since the first Obama administration. Hornswoggle fell like the Hindenberg onto the floor and then the bull dove on the geeks. JBL referenced Fantasy Island. Steph came out, then Brie and Bryan came out with her wearing a YES hoodie. Bryan looks like just a dude in jeans and a shirt without the belts. I like the neck brace. They seem to be teasing a Bryan/Brie vs. HHH/Steph match in the future. Steph talked about sleeping next to a hospital bed for Hunter...so I thinks he's almost a face here. Steph being remotely likeable is not how this should be going. Bryan's promo really didn't have much of a point beyond HIS WIFE and Steph being full of crap. Steph made Brie-Paige for the title tonight. Or next... Brie has dragons on her gear. Pan of the mask OH NOES THE MASK IS GONE!
Paige got a jobber intro.Not sure how wise it is to put Paige and her...whatever her character is, against a pure face in Brie here. Kane came through a hole to try and drag Brie to hell. Bryan saved. BUT SHE WAS FROZEN WITH FEAR! So yeah, this is substantially less awesome than last week's deal. Bryan attacked with a wrench. Kane got up and chokeslammed Bryan. Brie once again refused TO MOVE. HE'S TAKING HER TO HELL! Why would WWE book Raw directly over Hell?
Bryan said no a bunch to the doctor and Steph ac-ted again. Brie called her a bitch and Steph just left. I think Cole said Kane-Bryan would be an Extreme Rules match. Recap of the Bray-Cena deal, which has really been the A angle all night with Bryan-Kane being a B and Shield-Evolution being maybe a C. Cena apologized to Renee about not doing an interview and then Cena apologized to the fans for thinking he turned on them...for some reason. Did we miss a whole show? Why is Cena wacky and happy again? AND TALKING ABOUT GETTING BRAY A DONKEY!? He said Bray wouldn't have the world in his hand - ON SUNDAY, HE'D HAVE A FIST IN HIS FACE AND A FOOT IN THE ASS! The final line was okay. Not worth all the other shit though. Barrett came out on his podium and buried RVD for being old. He said he was in diapers when RVD was IC champ the last time. BARRETT WORE DIAPERS IN HIS '20S!? Then he did the RVD bit with B-N-B. That was great.
AARVD came out. I like RVD's anime-inspired singlet here. I see Barrett as becoming the face they're planning Cesaro to be. The fans are far more behind him now than they are with Cesaro as a tweener. Loved him lifting RVD up from a buckle leapfrog and then just kicking him right in the ribs. Ouch! King told a bad joke about BNB delivering bad news on the Network. Yup - he could say that King signed a new deal for commentary. Cesaro and Swagger bullshit allowed Barrett to get the elbow and win. Cesaro destroyed RVD after the match. Swagger got a deadlift doctor bomb...so I guess it'll be a 3-way. Five star to Cesaro...man did Cesaro's stock not soar with tonight's show. I completely forgot about Reigns-Orton, which led to them recapping the SD beating of dudes.
Shield cut a promo about being the present and the future, and Ambrose faces Rybaxel and Alberto in a 3-on-1 US Title match on SD. Big Dave looks like Bass from DOA with this beard. Orton coming out to the Evolution theme seems weird. Flair came out. WWE's makeup team did a bangup job on Ric. Flair endorsed the Shield. Whoever keeps wooing needs to immediately stop. I thought it was King, but he's talking, so it must be JBL. They did some stuff and then everyone brawled. HHH did a spinebuster on the floor, which can't be good for his knees. Seth saved with a flying knee and then Reigns speared HHH. HHH was saved from the triple powerbomb by his cronies. This wasn't all that great.
Screens -
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/i9q4d80d4bnm6bbkzocgkgglv3wv4yan
Tag title match got the big (guy) match intro. Double dive set up an injury angle for Jey. Great front-facing knee to Jimmy from Axel. Great counter of a double superplex leading to him throwing Axel onto Ryback's gut. Jey got in and took a deadlift Saito suplex from Axel and a Ryback spinebuster for 2. Ryback pulled the straps down. THE STATE of the roid belly on Ryback. Wow. Axel got a perfect plex, but a blind tag allowed the other Uso to dive and win. Great finish. They talked about Dish and DirecTV not airing the PPV, but don't worry - JUST GET THE NETWORK! A Kenny Powers ad for MLB 14 The Show aired. Oh wow that ruled.
Adam Rose debuts on Raw next week. Heyman said he takes his clients to the top...right after Rybaxel lost. The Steph-filled Kane-Bryan recap aired again. WAY TOO MUCH STEPH in this. The camera panned to...Kane's mask in a glass case because Kane's apparently not there. I'm all for that - the feud peaked last week, just end the build there.Titus jumped Sheamus and whooped his ass for a while before getting kicked...so boy is it ever great that they broke up the PTPs. Kofi did a Network ad explaining what it is...two months after it launched.
Dolph's out in his shirt and a black blazer. He's excited about hot babes in tiny bikinis and THE NEW X-MEN MOVIE! Then he and Hugh had awkward banter. SANDOW CAME OUT DRESSED AS MAGNETO! I love the crowd chanting KNOCK HIM OUT and Sandow demanding that they don't tell him what to do! Then things got...sillier as he tried to use THE POWER OF MAGNETISM, got hip tossed and Zig-Zagged. This was entertaining.
IT'S RAW EPISODE ONE THOUSAND NINETY TWO! WOOHOO! Enough with that bullshit. Heyman had a great joke to start off his promo. Knock knock - who's there? MIKE. MIKE-LIENT BROCK LESNAR ENDED THE STREAK. And Cesaro won the Andre the Giant battle royal! ROLLING KARELIN LIFTS! Shame they took stuff out like that in the WWE games. Crowd's dead for this. Heyman grabbed the stache and Cesaro won with a deadlift German suplex right out of FPR. Boy is his moveset perfect for that game.
Recap of the Bray singing bit led to Renee asking John his reaction TO WHAT WE JUST SAW OUT THERE. An hour ago. An ad for Rush aired - I thought it was for Royal Pains. OH NO, IT'S THE PAN OF KANE'S MASK AGAIN! And I think King repeated his exact same line from before with that. Alberto's facing Cody for some reason. Crowd is dead for this too, shockingly. They were hot for Cena, should've cared about Cesaro, but nope. These guys have no chance. Goldust has his WM gear on. JBL talked about getting his haircut and toes done. They did every signature move they have in a few minutes, and Cody eventually tapped to the armbar - so he's turning heel on Goldust. Cody left looking all pissy.
Heyman and Cesaro spoke. YAY LANA! Lana demanded a Rusev crushing AND IT HAPPENED. Then Truth attacked. The faces got the edge here slightly, so it was smart booking to make you think they had a prayer. Cena met with Make a Wish kids. This video was hard to get through after hearing about the MAW kid that passed away. Rob talked with Renee and didn't say the word dude once. Zeb offered a spot in the Real Americans to RVD, but he declined.
Matadores are facing 3MB. On the PPV pre-show, it'll be Hornswoggle facing Torito in a WEELC match. JBL said he said Hornswoggle eating mushrooms to grow like Mario. Slater won! Loved Cole saying this was his first win since the first Obama administration. Hornswoggle fell like the Hindenberg onto the floor and then the bull dove on the geeks. JBL referenced Fantasy Island. Steph came out, then Brie and Bryan came out with her wearing a YES hoodie. Bryan looks like just a dude in jeans and a shirt without the belts. I like the neck brace. They seem to be teasing a Bryan/Brie vs. HHH/Steph match in the future. Steph talked about sleeping next to a hospital bed for Hunter...so I thinks he's almost a face here. Steph being remotely likeable is not how this should be going. Bryan's promo really didn't have much of a point beyond HIS WIFE and Steph being full of crap. Steph made Brie-Paige for the title tonight. Or next... Brie has dragons on her gear. Pan of the mask OH NOES THE MASK IS GONE!
Paige got a jobber intro.Not sure how wise it is to put Paige and her...whatever her character is, against a pure face in Brie here. Kane came through a hole to try and drag Brie to hell. Bryan saved. BUT SHE WAS FROZEN WITH FEAR! So yeah, this is substantially less awesome than last week's deal. Bryan attacked with a wrench. Kane got up and chokeslammed Bryan. Brie once again refused TO MOVE. HE'S TAKING HER TO HELL! Why would WWE book Raw directly over Hell?
Bryan said no a bunch to the doctor and Steph ac-ted again. Brie called her a bitch and Steph just left. I think Cole said Kane-Bryan would be an Extreme Rules match. Recap of the Bray-Cena deal, which has really been the A angle all night with Bryan-Kane being a B and Shield-Evolution being maybe a C. Cena apologized to Renee about not doing an interview and then Cena apologized to the fans for thinking he turned on them...for some reason. Did we miss a whole show? Why is Cena wacky and happy again? AND TALKING ABOUT GETTING BRAY A DONKEY!? He said Bray wouldn't have the world in his hand - ON SUNDAY, HE'D HAVE A FIST IN HIS FACE AND A FOOT IN THE ASS! The final line was okay. Not worth all the other shit though. Barrett came out on his podium and buried RVD for being old. He said he was in diapers when RVD was IC champ the last time. BARRETT WORE DIAPERS IN HIS '20S!? Then he did the RVD bit with B-N-B. That was great.
AARVD came out. I like RVD's anime-inspired singlet here. I see Barrett as becoming the face they're planning Cesaro to be. The fans are far more behind him now than they are with Cesaro as a tweener. Loved him lifting RVD up from a buckle leapfrog and then just kicking him right in the ribs. Ouch! King told a bad joke about BNB delivering bad news on the Network. Yup - he could say that King signed a new deal for commentary. Cesaro and Swagger bullshit allowed Barrett to get the elbow and win. Cesaro destroyed RVD after the match. Swagger got a deadlift doctor bomb...so I guess it'll be a 3-way. Five star to Cesaro...man did Cesaro's stock not soar with tonight's show. I completely forgot about Reigns-Orton, which led to them recapping the SD beating of dudes.
Shield cut a promo about being the present and the future, and Ambrose faces Rybaxel and Alberto in a 3-on-1 US Title match on SD. Big Dave looks like Bass from DOA with this beard. Orton coming out to the Evolution theme seems weird. Flair came out. WWE's makeup team did a bangup job on Ric. Flair endorsed the Shield. Whoever keeps wooing needs to immediately stop. I thought it was King, but he's talking, so it must be JBL. They did some stuff and then everyone brawled. HHH did a spinebuster on the floor, which can't be good for his knees. Seth saved with a flying knee and then Reigns speared HHH. HHH was saved from the triple powerbomb by his cronies. This wasn't all that great.
Screens -
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/i9q4d80d4bnm6bbkzocgkgglv3wv4yan
TNA Sacrifice 2014
I dug the EY opening video, although some of the sillier faces were just too much. Wolves-Bro-Mans has some fantastic-looking white-heavy gear. Love Ion getting chucked on the champs on the floor - crazy spot. Pretty basic little showcase for both teams, but it's good to see the right team finally holding the gold. Bro Mans definititely raised their stock with the run though. Jesse in particular has come off so great in this group, and Ion's great in his role. Jesus, Shaw looks middle-aged in this backstage promo. Anderson's black and NEON YELLOW gear is blinding. Christy (Hemme, not his mother) decided to wear a see-through shirt on a show involving her crazy stalker. On one hand, it's hot, on the other, it makes no logical sense. Anderson chucking Shaw into the boxes head-first was cringe-worthy. Christy low-blowed Shaw to give Anderson the win. Time for the wacky Willow tag. Angle's got a massive brace on his left knee. Tenay keeps talking about how different Willow is than Hardy...really now? He does the same shit, only he screams and cackles. Hardy as the Extreme Enigma was far more violent. They got the wacky drug intro live here. EC3 left Spud to get killed with a Twito, Olympic slam, and Swanton. This was a waste of everyone other than Spud, who came off great as a lawn dart. EY's wearing one of those terrible women's shirts that HBK and Flair had before. The backwards help is not helping the look. Knux and the chick talked about CRAZY STEVE AND THE FREAK! They're going to use their TNA money to PUT IT BACK INTO THE CARNIVAL TO GET IT RUNNING. Knux - wrestling carny is either the greatest gimmick ever or worse than wrestling plumbers and garbagemen.
Best of 3 series is over tonight, which is shocking given that it just started. It really should've been a best of seven series. Or built up in some way to mean anything at all. UNO GETS STREAMERS! Sanada's gear looks major league and I dig him letting the fans touch the belt. I like Tenay kind of implying that Sanada and the W1 team at Lockdown sent Sabin and Bad Influence packing. I love Sanada reviving the Terry Funk rolling cradle. Diving Steamboat chop from Sanada. A "let's go Goku" chant broke out...well that's just stupid on many levels. Tigre Uno countered a something into a something something turned into a German into the buckle. Ouch! Sweet mother of fuck, he did that goddamned neck-snapping, concussion-causing capture suplex again. TELL HIM TO KNOCK THAT SHIT OFF. Sanada won after the 450 missed and he hit a moonsault. Love Sanada. Stop reducing his career length by having him face Uno.
Storm cut a promo with JB and came out in a swank silver jacket. This series has wound up being so much better than anything these guys did as a team - it's amazing. They were good-ish partners, but fantastic rivals. Gunner's generic theme now has a chopper in it...yeah no. I love this starting with punches...and poor Gunner getting a Gunner sucks chant. Other than them using a goofy step/guardrail bit early, I like them going with more realistic-looking stuff here. And then Storm used a cookie sheet to the back. Trash can lids to the head! DUELING EVEN! Diving headbutt to...an area close to Storm's right arm. Storm doesn't give up from this thank God. Crowd's chanting for Beer Money. DRAPING DDT OFF THE APRON TO THE STEPS ON THE FLOOR from Storm. Excellent spot there. Crowd chants one more time for the babyface to get re-killed with that. It's a real shame this crowd is so douchey. Goddamn, I think they might've used a real bottle - Storm cut him open badly immediately. Boston Crab from Storm has Gunner in the Austin visual and he's crawling through glass to escape...that's different. For some reason, the ref forced a rope break for this I QUIT match. Storm abuses the ref, takes his belt off, and beats Gunner with it. He whips him a ton against the ropes a bit like Sheamus's spot and Gunner tells him to piss off. Last Call from Storm. Crowd's chanting for more blood. Fuck these guys. Gunner says NEVER NEVER NEVER! He's doing everything right. Storm's doing everything right. If this match was in WWE with this buildup, it'd be something special. Storm rubs Gunner's blood on his chest. The mic is either falling apart, or it's covered in blood. Since the ref has no gloves, I hope it's the former. Gunner fired up by bonking his head into the buckle and beating up Storm with running shots. Mr. Intensity needs to never be said again. F5 into the glass from Gunner. They make a wacky chair/guardrail bridge that got a this is awesome chant. Well, at least they're making it seem like a bit deal now. SUPERPLEX! This looked so cool - the chairs got all fucked up, with one buckling and the other flying at the ref. Gunner did the Magnum TA chair spot with some glass, and Storm quit. This was really good, and one of the better I quit matches you'll see from the past ten years.
JB talked in a really echoey room with the BPs. Sweet Christ are Velvet's tits out of control. Velvet's added a lot more ass-bending to this act. She's got quite the ass shake going on too. They had a really long nothing match and Love won after Velvet sprayed her in the face with hairspray. Roode's out in his Highspots getup for the table match. Bully's matches are hit and miss, but I love him coutnering punches with nasty chops to the chest. They set up a table in the corner and teased a powerbomb through it. Roode did a bunch of counters and then...THE REF JUST TOOK A BUMP. I think the idea was that Roode's foot or hands would fly up and hit him, but neither happened and the ref had to be down to not see Roode go through, so he just went down. A fairly massive bullshit chant happened here. Tenay said that it was a foot to the face, and the ref got a "ref you suck!" chant. This was just match-killing. Then Bully was tossed off the top through a table by Dixie dressed as a guy. The guys tried, but the booking of this just had no prayer. She talked shit to him afterwards, so I'm leaning towards her eating a powerbomb through a table at either BFG or Slammiversary.
They had a really good EY video showing his whole history - including him in a suit. Okay, he actually cleans up really well, and looks at least a decade older now with the beard and the receding hairline. There's no reason he can't at least wear a business casual getup on TV. Really, his best overall look was the World Elite one with the shaved dark roots and smug facial expressions. Magnus came out in his black, gold, and silver gear - I like that. It's a little touch, but it shows he's supremely confident because he'll have his world title later to match the gear. EY walked over Magnus to show he's smarter, and then waved at him. Some of this works, some of it doesn't. Nice snap headlock takedowns by EY. Magnus walks away from a suicide dive, so EY hits a plancha instead. Well Magnus was just stupid there. Magnus takes him out on the floor. Northern lights gets 2 for EY, while Magnus hits Ted Jr's rebound lariat for 2. Belly to belly hits, but EY misses a moonsault. Wheelbarrow neckbreaker leads to the flying elbow for 2. EY locked in the worst sharpshooter in ages - using an awkward setup with the left leg, then using the right arm for the hold itself. Magnus tried to kill EY with a crowbar, but the ref stopped it. EY's piledriver got 2! A second one hits along with the elbow for the win. EY should really hold onto this until at least Slammiversary to make this seem like a significant event and not a title-killer like the Sabin win.
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http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/uxr17wh42kmgv1h1lq6vt4xze62fu71p
Best of 3 series is over tonight, which is shocking given that it just started. It really should've been a best of seven series. Or built up in some way to mean anything at all. UNO GETS STREAMERS! Sanada's gear looks major league and I dig him letting the fans touch the belt. I like Tenay kind of implying that Sanada and the W1 team at Lockdown sent Sabin and Bad Influence packing. I love Sanada reviving the Terry Funk rolling cradle. Diving Steamboat chop from Sanada. A "let's go Goku" chant broke out...well that's just stupid on many levels. Tigre Uno countered a something into a something something turned into a German into the buckle. Ouch! Sweet mother of fuck, he did that goddamned neck-snapping, concussion-causing capture suplex again. TELL HIM TO KNOCK THAT SHIT OFF. Sanada won after the 450 missed and he hit a moonsault. Love Sanada. Stop reducing his career length by having him face Uno.
Storm cut a promo with JB and came out in a swank silver jacket. This series has wound up being so much better than anything these guys did as a team - it's amazing. They were good-ish partners, but fantastic rivals. Gunner's generic theme now has a chopper in it...yeah no. I love this starting with punches...and poor Gunner getting a Gunner sucks chant. Other than them using a goofy step/guardrail bit early, I like them going with more realistic-looking stuff here. And then Storm used a cookie sheet to the back. Trash can lids to the head! DUELING EVEN! Diving headbutt to...an area close to Storm's right arm. Storm doesn't give up from this thank God. Crowd's chanting for Beer Money. DRAPING DDT OFF THE APRON TO THE STEPS ON THE FLOOR from Storm. Excellent spot there. Crowd chants one more time for the babyface to get re-killed with that. It's a real shame this crowd is so douchey. Goddamn, I think they might've used a real bottle - Storm cut him open badly immediately. Boston Crab from Storm has Gunner in the Austin visual and he's crawling through glass to escape...that's different. For some reason, the ref forced a rope break for this I QUIT match. Storm abuses the ref, takes his belt off, and beats Gunner with it. He whips him a ton against the ropes a bit like Sheamus's spot and Gunner tells him to piss off. Last Call from Storm. Crowd's chanting for more blood. Fuck these guys. Gunner says NEVER NEVER NEVER! He's doing everything right. Storm's doing everything right. If this match was in WWE with this buildup, it'd be something special. Storm rubs Gunner's blood on his chest. The mic is either falling apart, or it's covered in blood. Since the ref has no gloves, I hope it's the former. Gunner fired up by bonking his head into the buckle and beating up Storm with running shots. Mr. Intensity needs to never be said again. F5 into the glass from Gunner. They make a wacky chair/guardrail bridge that got a this is awesome chant. Well, at least they're making it seem like a bit deal now. SUPERPLEX! This looked so cool - the chairs got all fucked up, with one buckling and the other flying at the ref. Gunner did the Magnum TA chair spot with some glass, and Storm quit. This was really good, and one of the better I quit matches you'll see from the past ten years.
JB talked in a really echoey room with the BPs. Sweet Christ are Velvet's tits out of control. Velvet's added a lot more ass-bending to this act. She's got quite the ass shake going on too. They had a really long nothing match and Love won after Velvet sprayed her in the face with hairspray. Roode's out in his Highspots getup for the table match. Bully's matches are hit and miss, but I love him coutnering punches with nasty chops to the chest. They set up a table in the corner and teased a powerbomb through it. Roode did a bunch of counters and then...THE REF JUST TOOK A BUMP. I think the idea was that Roode's foot or hands would fly up and hit him, but neither happened and the ref had to be down to not see Roode go through, so he just went down. A fairly massive bullshit chant happened here. Tenay said that it was a foot to the face, and the ref got a "ref you suck!" chant. This was just match-killing. Then Bully was tossed off the top through a table by Dixie dressed as a guy. The guys tried, but the booking of this just had no prayer. She talked shit to him afterwards, so I'm leaning towards her eating a powerbomb through a table at either BFG or Slammiversary.
They had a really good EY video showing his whole history - including him in a suit. Okay, he actually cleans up really well, and looks at least a decade older now with the beard and the receding hairline. There's no reason he can't at least wear a business casual getup on TV. Really, his best overall look was the World Elite one with the shaved dark roots and smug facial expressions. Magnus came out in his black, gold, and silver gear - I like that. It's a little touch, but it shows he's supremely confident because he'll have his world title later to match the gear. EY walked over Magnus to show he's smarter, and then waved at him. Some of this works, some of it doesn't. Nice snap headlock takedowns by EY. Magnus walks away from a suicide dive, so EY hits a plancha instead. Well Magnus was just stupid there. Magnus takes him out on the floor. Northern lights gets 2 for EY, while Magnus hits Ted Jr's rebound lariat for 2. Belly to belly hits, but EY misses a moonsault. Wheelbarrow neckbreaker leads to the flying elbow for 2. EY locked in the worst sharpshooter in ages - using an awkward setup with the left leg, then using the right arm for the hold itself. Magnus tried to kill EY with a crowbar, but the ref stopped it. EY's piledriver got 2! A second one hits along with the elbow for the win. EY should really hold onto this until at least Slammiversary to make this seem like a significant event and not a title-killer like the Sabin win.
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Friday, April 25, 2014
WWE SD 4-25-14
Vickie starts off giving the Authority the night off. Her dress is something else. It's like a Cosby sweater in dress form. She announced the Shield vs. geeks tonight. A VERBAL DEBATE BROKE OUT between Heyman and Zeb. Heyman working in MY CLIENT BROCK LESNAR CONQUERED THE STREAK AT WRESTLEMANIA at every point ruled. I loved Zeb saying I DON'T CARE ABOUT BROCK, I CARE ABOUT THIS MAN! I like Heyman doing the Cesaro won the battle royal bit nearly as much as the Brock deal. Zeb said he's known Heyman forever and shoved the podium down. Zeb said that Heyman was jealous he had more hair on his back than Heyman has on his head. Cesaro-Swagger is up. They had a basic SD match and Cesaro won with the Neutralizer. Shield take out Swagger. Axel and Jey Uso have a match. Nice Sliding J into a sleeper from Jey. Hangman's facebuster wins.
Vickie had a wacky conversation with Hunter about Maddox being GM of Raw and taking over for her tonight. I love Brad asking what's wrong with his office when it's got the same PPV and HUNTOR DVD posters as Raw. Paige hype vid. Tamina and Nattie had a little match with a great finish - Nattie kipped up into a superkick and lost. Shield beat up 3MB - so they're continuing to take out guys who are facing them in the match later. Bray cut an okay promo in the ring with a cage around him. Bray used it as an effective prop visually. Cody and Goldust faced Harper and Rowan. Spinning clothesline took Goldust out after he was shoved into Cody knocking him off the top to the floor. The Shield interrupted Brad while he was on the phone...which was turned off... and beat him up. Well now they're just being pricks.
We were threatened with another Fandango-Santino match, but the Shield thankfully powerbombed Fandango off the stage. YAY THEY'RE BABYFACES AGAIN! Odd to waste an off the ramp spot on SD, but whatever. Kane massacre recap. The Shield faced less than half the geeks they were supposed to before. Ryback got a chinlock. ALBERTO GOT A CHINLOCK1 I like Barrett just leaving this shit and letting Alberto get taken out with the Superman punch. They destroyed Sandow and Ryback and won. This was a show with a singular focus, but wasn't all that memorable.
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Thursday, April 24, 2014
TNA Impact 4-24-14
The pre-show credits video hypes up Beer Money's return with some oddly-cut audio. The ad guy and Tenay were cut off mid-sentence. Angle gets a promo set to loud music about his match with Spud. EY and his receding hairline-caused fivehead got a hype video. This showed his title win and defense against Abyss, so they're at least going all the way with the video. Magnus came out and it hit me how sad I'll be when he wins the title at Sacrifice. It's a shame they're doing that PPV so soon because EY as champ until Slammiversary could be fun and would at least be kinda going all the way with him. Instead, he gets a credible-ish win, Magnus looks weak losing to him, and the only guy he can beat clean is EY. Magnus cut a promo on Abyss, to cement how little EY matters. EY, the world champ, is now officially a bit player in the world title storyline since it's all about Magnus's issues with Abyss. Magnus said that Abyss is SIX FOOT EIGHT, which is already ludicrous, but moreso when the camera angle is them face-to-face.
Maybe Magnus grew and is now six foot six. Magnus talked about breaking protocol in wrestling earlier by talking crap to Abyss to his face. I wish he'd break protocol by not talking for nine hours. Abyss was fired from MAGNUS ENTERPRISES. Okay, that was a cute line in the '80s, now it's just stupid. Abyss is using Miz's REALLY line now. A fan is yelling YOU'RE FIRED. You can hear each fan's smart-ass remark - just like Homer in Capital City. A fan called Magnus an asshole, and Abyss cut a promo on Magnus being a jackass. Well, this MONTH-LONG face turn sure didn't mean jack shit. This might be a record even for him. Magnus said that since Abyss wasn't on the roster, he'd have him arrested. SO LAST WEEK'S WORLD TITLE MATCH could've be won by a guy not on the roster. MVP, for seemingly the millionth time in three months, gave someone a second chance because he got one. A giant yes chant broke out. MVP made Abyss-Magnus for tonight. This went on for a thousand years and only took up 10 minutes. Beer Money face RAY GUNNER later. Spud and his silver bow-tie met with EC3 in a glorious maroon suit jacket and both a black and white dress shirt combo. EC3 gave him a pep talk about NEEDING TO BE A GAZELLE! And the match is up...right now...wow. Impact really needs to be an hour long.
The pain/pain, agony/agony, sacrifice/sacrifice ad aired for...some PPV. There's actually a PPV on Sunday, and there's no real reason to care about it as of 9:20 on the go-home show. Angle had a giant WTF look on his face when he saw Spud, whose bowtie was sadly crooked! Kurt is red now. Spud hit a missile dropkick and was astonished at doing so! Angle did the world's safest run-up belly to belly, and then won with the ankle lock. EC3 and his douche getup attacked Angle. EC3-Angle, THE LOGICAL MATCH, was hyped up for the PPV...and it's of course now a tag match with Willow and Angle facing EC3 and Spud. Fucking hell. They had Angelina and her giant tits cut a promo on Madison. Velvet's got a makeup bag that matches they're gear and they'll give her a makeover. I think Angelina's chest is now 30% of her overall body weight.
MVP talked to someone about Aries while Kenny King lounged around his office. MVP asked Kenny King, IN HIS GEAR IN FRONT OF HIM, if he was suited up. "Kenny King is up next", only he's not. It's Madison. Madison faces Love on Sunday. Madison screeched about the BPs until they came down. Velvet brought back the bend on the apron, but they didn't do the ass shake on the ropes. Angelina of all people said Madison was looking tired in the face and one again brought up her daughter. You know, given that Madison was only in the BPs due to some visa issues, they've at least gotten years of use out of it. Brittany came to make the save but was hilariously held in place by Angelina. And then they put the paper bag gimmick on Madison. Anderson went on a road trip to Shaw's hometown or something.
40 minutes in and I'm struggling to care about anything. Luckily, I've got Child of Light to play during breaks. The BP beating was recapped. Gail talked backstage to Brittany and Madison about how the BPs are taking over HER DIVISION. She doesn't like these chicks, but she respects them. I dig her still being the best in her head as a face. Madison was a bitch to Brittany. Madison and Gail face the BPs. Kenny King came out to generic lounge music. Kenny faces Lashley. Oh yeah, he's still here. Boy, what a return for Lashley. Granted, there's not a whole heck of a lot you can get out of him right now, but he's still in shape, has a bit of a name, and seems like he should be above this kind of deal. Tenay brought up BOY HOW IMPRESSIVE BOBBY LASHLEY'S RESUME IS! He's done it all! Underachieved in MMA. Overachieved in WWE and somehow underachieved in TNA. Lashley is really lean right now. I'm surprised WWE didn't bring him back since he's still in crazy-good shape. He's still muscular and is really agile. I loved the ref getting in the way, Bobby moving him, then King going for an eye poke and LASHLEY ACTUALLY CATCHING THE FINGER! Lashley's a lot of fun to watch here. Aries-MVP is on Impact instead of the PPV for whatever reason. Really nice striking combo from Lashley here, with some jabs and hooks being mixed in with a running back club. Lashley caught the foot from a corner charge AND THEN CAUGHT HIM IN MID-AIR DURING A BLOCKBUSTER AND HIT A SUPLEX! This is by far Lashley's most entertaining match since 2007. King ran from Lashley, who won via countout. Lashley brought the goods here. Before the match, I wasn't high on him being back, but now...I still wish he was in WWE, but he's doing great right now.
Anderson went to the Shaws' house and met Sam's mother - a redhead dressed like a '50s sitcom mom named Christy...so he's officially Norman Bates now. Storm and Roode exposited about all the shit they've done to each other. Storm says Roode at least respects him, while Gunner doesn't - and as a unit, they can beat the shit out of others, then get drunk and beat each other up the next night. Speaking of being wasted in TNA, both of these guys are. Roode especially - he'd be fantastic as a corporate Bossman-level guy in the Authority. MVP-Aries is up next. Christ, the show is only 50 minutes old. The pretentious HTC One ad about not using the web to find an accurate review of a product in 2014 aired. Given that I saw a DetroitBORG review praising it, I guess that doesn't matter.
Aries and a new very blue cape came down. His wacky apron pose with the cape ruled. Tenay and Taz talked about MVP being a wrestler and director of wrestling operations. This led to a great bit with Taz knocking business cards and saying no one has them in either 2014 or 2013 - whichever year it is. ABYSS FIGHTS FOR HIS WRESTLING LIFE TONIGHT. Oh, and Beer Money faces RAY GUNNER later. Diving seated elbow drive/drop thingy from Aries hit MVP. That's actually somewhat doable in No Mercy by seating a guy up and giving him the flying elbow smash. Corner clothesline combo from MVP is met with Aries biting his arm. I thought MVP was trying the head and arm choke. MVP hit a big shortarm clothesline for 2. Nice chuck into the ropes from Aries led to the rolling elbow and a brainbuster setup, but MVP countered it into a flip German suplex. Kneebreaker>backdrop combo from Aries! Corner dropkick from Aries gets 2. 450 missed and set up the drive by for the win. This was MVP's best match since debuting in TNA. Aries was covered in welts. Film footage of Sanada winning the X Title on the TNA/W1 PPV aired, which made both look major league. More Sanada workout footage and him having THE WEIGHT OF HIS NATION on him. Anderson talked to the camera about his mother being named Christy. She makes Samuel apple pie every day, which Anderson finds odd since he's in Florida now. Shaw also plays piano, and they're going for some bizarre mother-son relationship here. The fucking state of the acting here. It's a shame Claire Lynch burned her bridges with TNA. Could they just get to the reveal of her having a mannequin of Samuel, and then Shaw jumping Anderson already?
Beer Money came out to face RAY GUNNER! Gunner-Storm is now an I Quit match for some reason, while Roode and Ray is a tables match. I'm actually digging this tag match more than either singles match, although they had something with Gunner-Storm a few weeks ago. The duel crucifix thing really makes no sense - SORRY ABOUT YOUR DAMN LUCK was sarcastic, basically saying the same thing as NOT SORRY. And now I'm pondering the meaning of TNA tights slogans. Oh God. Roode and Bully are having some fine exchanges here - that match would be so much better on PPV without the table stip. A slingshot suplex PROVED WHY GUNNER IS MISTER INTENSITY! They did the WAZZUP bit with Gunner bonking his head in the buckle first and then doing the worst diving headbutt in ages. Bully did a slow motion Cactus elbow, but Roode moved off the table. Superkick to Gunner gets the win, so Storm loses again on PPV. Magnus cut a promo looking ghost-white. He must be near a lighting rig, because he looks terrible. HE'S GOING TO END ABYSS'S CAREER tonight and no fucks were given. Anderson said that Shaw still lives with his mother in the basement. So I guess the studio apartment thing has been retconned or something.
Shaw caught Anderson, they brawled around Shaw's CRT TV. The camera guy just went fuck it and left. Shaw came up bloody, and the camera guy turned down Christy's offer of pie to leave the psycho house. So...did the camera guy just leave Anderson to be killed by the insane people? Going through the screens showed that he's got SAM'S ROOM written in cardboard letters and...yeah the poor guy isn't drawing a dime with this. It went from being somewhat compelling to being totally cornball, and it's a killer. Granted, Board Shorts Shaw wasn't drawing a dime either, but this is actively hurting the guy now. BPs faced Gail and Madison, and Velvet started the match by smacking her ass. Velvet's got a furry vest to match her furry boots. Lots of upskirts in this between the BPs and Madison. I can't get over how bad Angelina's stomps are. I loved Velvet as a heel just giving no fucks about rules and breaking up Gail's headscissors. Madison hit a spear to Velvet, but Angelina won with a distraction schoolboy - just like a random mid-card WWE match. Knux is lusting after...some chick he may or may not be related to in storyline. Whatever it is. Whoever this brunette is name-wise, it's the girl of his dreams, and they're back together...yay? Abyss yelled about Magnus being a SON OF A GAAAAHHH and saying he hurt those he cared about most, AND HE KNOWS WHO HE IS, so now he's a total face again and will reunite with EY to logically close the show.
The Sacrifice PPV ad featuring MVP talking about him needing to fight sometimes furthers the idea that MVP-Aries should've been on PPV. Wolves cut an other wacky-filter video about GETTING A TAG TITLE SHOT IN A HANDICAP MATCH! PPV rundown recap. Angle and Willow teaming IS A DREAM TAG TEAM. Bobby's been invading Bully's world, but what will happen if BULLY INVADES BOBBY'S WORLD! EY is doing commentary looking even more homeless than last week. Abyss came out FROM PARTS UNKNOWN! Magnus bounced around for Abyss after they talked about WHAT A WORLD CHAMPION EY looked like. God no.
Poor EY. He got the title at the worst possible time, without any momentum. Him getting it in '06/'07 would've made more sense since he was both a lot more over and a far more prominent act. Fast forward seven/eight years, and he's been a comedy act for 99% of that time outside of when he was a SERIOUS HEEL and couldn't be taken seriously because he was ripping off Jericho's promos and was a comedy act for so long. Now he's got a thing called a world title so he can get an extra $100 on indy dates and autograph shows, and won't have the title long enough for it to even mean anything.
I would say that EY should buzz his hair like he did during the World Elite/Band stuff, but with the beard, he'd just look like an in-shape Knux. Then, they could do wacky carnival skits together! Crowd chanted "overrated" and "you are awful" at TNA's top homegrown heel. Magnus hits Abyss in the balls, SO ABYSS GETS HIS CAREER BACK VIA DQ. Abyss doesn't just win world titles by DQ, he also regains his career thanks to them. Magnus attacked EY with a chair, setting up a DREADED CHAIRS MATCH perfectly. Magnus just demolished everyone with chairs to close the show and...that's it. Really. No hook or anything. The big deal next week "what's the fallout from Sacrifice!?" Who cares?
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Maybe Magnus grew and is now six foot six. Magnus talked about breaking protocol in wrestling earlier by talking crap to Abyss to his face. I wish he'd break protocol by not talking for nine hours. Abyss was fired from MAGNUS ENTERPRISES. Okay, that was a cute line in the '80s, now it's just stupid. Abyss is using Miz's REALLY line now. A fan is yelling YOU'RE FIRED. You can hear each fan's smart-ass remark - just like Homer in Capital City. A fan called Magnus an asshole, and Abyss cut a promo on Magnus being a jackass. Well, this MONTH-LONG face turn sure didn't mean jack shit. This might be a record even for him. Magnus said that since Abyss wasn't on the roster, he'd have him arrested. SO LAST WEEK'S WORLD TITLE MATCH could've be won by a guy not on the roster. MVP, for seemingly the millionth time in three months, gave someone a second chance because he got one. A giant yes chant broke out. MVP made Abyss-Magnus for tonight. This went on for a thousand years and only took up 10 minutes. Beer Money face RAY GUNNER later. Spud and his silver bow-tie met with EC3 in a glorious maroon suit jacket and both a black and white dress shirt combo. EC3 gave him a pep talk about NEEDING TO BE A GAZELLE! And the match is up...right now...wow. Impact really needs to be an hour long.
The pain/pain, agony/agony, sacrifice/sacrifice ad aired for...some PPV. There's actually a PPV on Sunday, and there's no real reason to care about it as of 9:20 on the go-home show. Angle had a giant WTF look on his face when he saw Spud, whose bowtie was sadly crooked! Kurt is red now. Spud hit a missile dropkick and was astonished at doing so! Angle did the world's safest run-up belly to belly, and then won with the ankle lock. EC3 and his douche getup attacked Angle. EC3-Angle, THE LOGICAL MATCH, was hyped up for the PPV...and it's of course now a tag match with Willow and Angle facing EC3 and Spud. Fucking hell. They had Angelina and her giant tits cut a promo on Madison. Velvet's got a makeup bag that matches they're gear and they'll give her a makeover. I think Angelina's chest is now 30% of her overall body weight.
MVP talked to someone about Aries while Kenny King lounged around his office. MVP asked Kenny King, IN HIS GEAR IN FRONT OF HIM, if he was suited up. "Kenny King is up next", only he's not. It's Madison. Madison faces Love on Sunday. Madison screeched about the BPs until they came down. Velvet brought back the bend on the apron, but they didn't do the ass shake on the ropes. Angelina of all people said Madison was looking tired in the face and one again brought up her daughter. You know, given that Madison was only in the BPs due to some visa issues, they've at least gotten years of use out of it. Brittany came to make the save but was hilariously held in place by Angelina. And then they put the paper bag gimmick on Madison. Anderson went on a road trip to Shaw's hometown or something.
40 minutes in and I'm struggling to care about anything. Luckily, I've got Child of Light to play during breaks. The BP beating was recapped. Gail talked backstage to Brittany and Madison about how the BPs are taking over HER DIVISION. She doesn't like these chicks, but she respects them. I dig her still being the best in her head as a face. Madison was a bitch to Brittany. Madison and Gail face the BPs. Kenny King came out to generic lounge music. Kenny faces Lashley. Oh yeah, he's still here. Boy, what a return for Lashley. Granted, there's not a whole heck of a lot you can get out of him right now, but he's still in shape, has a bit of a name, and seems like he should be above this kind of deal. Tenay brought up BOY HOW IMPRESSIVE BOBBY LASHLEY'S RESUME IS! He's done it all! Underachieved in MMA. Overachieved in WWE and somehow underachieved in TNA. Lashley is really lean right now. I'm surprised WWE didn't bring him back since he's still in crazy-good shape. He's still muscular and is really agile. I loved the ref getting in the way, Bobby moving him, then King going for an eye poke and LASHLEY ACTUALLY CATCHING THE FINGER! Lashley's a lot of fun to watch here. Aries-MVP is on Impact instead of the PPV for whatever reason. Really nice striking combo from Lashley here, with some jabs and hooks being mixed in with a running back club. Lashley caught the foot from a corner charge AND THEN CAUGHT HIM IN MID-AIR DURING A BLOCKBUSTER AND HIT A SUPLEX! This is by far Lashley's most entertaining match since 2007. King ran from Lashley, who won via countout. Lashley brought the goods here. Before the match, I wasn't high on him being back, but now...I still wish he was in WWE, but he's doing great right now.
Anderson went to the Shaws' house and met Sam's mother - a redhead dressed like a '50s sitcom mom named Christy...so he's officially Norman Bates now. Storm and Roode exposited about all the shit they've done to each other. Storm says Roode at least respects him, while Gunner doesn't - and as a unit, they can beat the shit out of others, then get drunk and beat each other up the next night. Speaking of being wasted in TNA, both of these guys are. Roode especially - he'd be fantastic as a corporate Bossman-level guy in the Authority. MVP-Aries is up next. Christ, the show is only 50 minutes old. The pretentious HTC One ad about not using the web to find an accurate review of a product in 2014 aired. Given that I saw a DetroitBORG review praising it, I guess that doesn't matter.
Aries and a new very blue cape came down. His wacky apron pose with the cape ruled. Tenay and Taz talked about MVP being a wrestler and director of wrestling operations. This led to a great bit with Taz knocking business cards and saying no one has them in either 2014 or 2013 - whichever year it is. ABYSS FIGHTS FOR HIS WRESTLING LIFE TONIGHT. Oh, and Beer Money faces RAY GUNNER later. Diving seated elbow drive/drop thingy from Aries hit MVP. That's actually somewhat doable in No Mercy by seating a guy up and giving him the flying elbow smash. Corner clothesline combo from MVP is met with Aries biting his arm. I thought MVP was trying the head and arm choke. MVP hit a big shortarm clothesline for 2. Nice chuck into the ropes from Aries led to the rolling elbow and a brainbuster setup, but MVP countered it into a flip German suplex. Kneebreaker>backdrop combo from Aries! Corner dropkick from Aries gets 2. 450 missed and set up the drive by for the win. This was MVP's best match since debuting in TNA. Aries was covered in welts. Film footage of Sanada winning the X Title on the TNA/W1 PPV aired, which made both look major league. More Sanada workout footage and him having THE WEIGHT OF HIS NATION on him. Anderson talked to the camera about his mother being named Christy. She makes Samuel apple pie every day, which Anderson finds odd since he's in Florida now. Shaw also plays piano, and they're going for some bizarre mother-son relationship here. The fucking state of the acting here. It's a shame Claire Lynch burned her bridges with TNA. Could they just get to the reveal of her having a mannequin of Samuel, and then Shaw jumping Anderson already?
Beer Money came out to face RAY GUNNER! Gunner-Storm is now an I Quit match for some reason, while Roode and Ray is a tables match. I'm actually digging this tag match more than either singles match, although they had something with Gunner-Storm a few weeks ago. The duel crucifix thing really makes no sense - SORRY ABOUT YOUR DAMN LUCK was sarcastic, basically saying the same thing as NOT SORRY. And now I'm pondering the meaning of TNA tights slogans. Oh God. Roode and Bully are having some fine exchanges here - that match would be so much better on PPV without the table stip. A slingshot suplex PROVED WHY GUNNER IS MISTER INTENSITY! They did the WAZZUP bit with Gunner bonking his head in the buckle first and then doing the worst diving headbutt in ages. Bully did a slow motion Cactus elbow, but Roode moved off the table. Superkick to Gunner gets the win, so Storm loses again on PPV. Magnus cut a promo looking ghost-white. He must be near a lighting rig, because he looks terrible. HE'S GOING TO END ABYSS'S CAREER tonight and no fucks were given. Anderson said that Shaw still lives with his mother in the basement. So I guess the studio apartment thing has been retconned or something.
Shaw caught Anderson, they brawled around Shaw's CRT TV. The camera guy just went fuck it and left. Shaw came up bloody, and the camera guy turned down Christy's offer of pie to leave the psycho house. So...did the camera guy just leave Anderson to be killed by the insane people? Going through the screens showed that he's got SAM'S ROOM written in cardboard letters and...yeah the poor guy isn't drawing a dime with this. It went from being somewhat compelling to being totally cornball, and it's a killer. Granted, Board Shorts Shaw wasn't drawing a dime either, but this is actively hurting the guy now. BPs faced Gail and Madison, and Velvet started the match by smacking her ass. Velvet's got a furry vest to match her furry boots. Lots of upskirts in this between the BPs and Madison. I can't get over how bad Angelina's stomps are. I loved Velvet as a heel just giving no fucks about rules and breaking up Gail's headscissors. Madison hit a spear to Velvet, but Angelina won with a distraction schoolboy - just like a random mid-card WWE match. Knux is lusting after...some chick he may or may not be related to in storyline. Whatever it is. Whoever this brunette is name-wise, it's the girl of his dreams, and they're back together...yay? Abyss yelled about Magnus being a SON OF A GAAAAHHH and saying he hurt those he cared about most, AND HE KNOWS WHO HE IS, so now he's a total face again and will reunite with EY to logically close the show.
The Sacrifice PPV ad featuring MVP talking about him needing to fight sometimes furthers the idea that MVP-Aries should've been on PPV. Wolves cut an other wacky-filter video about GETTING A TAG TITLE SHOT IN A HANDICAP MATCH! PPV rundown recap. Angle and Willow teaming IS A DREAM TAG TEAM. Bobby's been invading Bully's world, but what will happen if BULLY INVADES BOBBY'S WORLD! EY is doing commentary looking even more homeless than last week. Abyss came out FROM PARTS UNKNOWN! Magnus bounced around for Abyss after they talked about WHAT A WORLD CHAMPION EY looked like. God no.
Poor EY. He got the title at the worst possible time, without any momentum. Him getting it in '06/'07 would've made more sense since he was both a lot more over and a far more prominent act. Fast forward seven/eight years, and he's been a comedy act for 99% of that time outside of when he was a SERIOUS HEEL and couldn't be taken seriously because he was ripping off Jericho's promos and was a comedy act for so long. Now he's got a thing called a world title so he can get an extra $100 on indy dates and autograph shows, and won't have the title long enough for it to even mean anything.
I would say that EY should buzz his hair like he did during the World Elite/Band stuff, but with the beard, he'd just look like an in-shape Knux. Then, they could do wacky carnival skits together! Crowd chanted "overrated" and "you are awful" at TNA's top homegrown heel. Magnus hits Abyss in the balls, SO ABYSS GETS HIS CAREER BACK VIA DQ. Abyss doesn't just win world titles by DQ, he also regains his career thanks to them. Magnus attacked EY with a chair, setting up a DREADED CHAIRS MATCH perfectly. Magnus just demolished everyone with chairs to close the show and...that's it. Really. No hook or anything. The big deal next week "what's the fallout from Sacrifice!?" Who cares?
Screens -
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/yuitd64jcv0btbpz4t3nurgapw8fdiqb
Monday, April 21, 2014
WWE Raw 4-21-14
A fantastic Roberts-Hogan Snake Pit is in the vault before the pre-show. Roberts with the Andre WWF belt is an odd visual, but that belt is a stunner. Dolph's on the pre-show, and Booker's analyzing crab cakes. Dolph's skinnier than Josh now. Booker and Dolph are just laughing their asses off here. Guarantee they got lit before this. HHH-Shield recap and OH GOD THE PHOTOSHOP SHIT. Big E got Blood E. against Sandow. Still won though. Big E changed the lyrics of the Full House theme for his promo. Steph's promo on Kane was shown. Sheamus cut a terrible promo about the IC Title and being mentioned in the same breathe as Patterson and THE LATE GREAT ULTIMATE WARRIOR. Booker sadly said that Bryan couldn't be happier...yikes.
A Shield-HHH video started the show. Bryan came out looking like he spent the day crying. Brie was in the ring, and they talked about those two being a power couple. Cue Steph. Steph called the Briana/Bryan Danielson wedding crunchy...what? Kane came out and attacked Bryan, Steph yelled at Brie to run...so I guess she's a face. Tombstone on the floor from Kane...well, I think this might've been better than the match will be. Tombstone ON THE STEPS! They're at least doing a great job giving a reason for their match to be an extreme rules one. Gotta say, this worked at making me want to see Bryan-Kane, which I didn't think was possible - even with Steph saying shit throughout it. This is the right time and as right a way as you're going to get to write him out a bit longer. KANE YOU STOP IT! I SAID STOP! Steph rules. Kane tombstoned him on the announce table. Can't wait for that to get a 2 at the PPV. Steph called him a bastard. The crowd chanted "you're a bastard" at Kane. This was 15 minutes of good stuff. To counter TNA's bearded champion beating the monster, WWE had their monster destroy the champion with three finishers. Can't wait for Abyss to Black Hole Slam EY three times on Impact.
They came back with Brie by his side as he was taken out on a stretcher. Cole called Kane THE MALIGNANT SPIRIT!? Steph was all sarcastic with the belts in her hands. Between looking hot and being great on the mic, this role is just perfect for her. BAD NEWS BARRETT AND HIS CAPE CAME OUT! This is by far Barrett's best gimmick since the Nexus. Sadly, he said "his news wasn't as bad as Bryan's". Barrett got a huge pop and even Sheamus got one too. Then they clubbered until a break! I'm loving this show so far. Wade's chest got beaten red with the chest clubbering. Wade kicked him in the face, climbed up top and got hit with the White Noise for a close 2 count. Crazy Cactus Jack-flip over crossbody from Sheamus. FLASH BULL HAMMER. BARRETT WINS! THIS RULED!
Ryder, Jackman, and Dolph clips aired. Wow, it's been 2 1/2 years since Ryder meant jack shit. Tonight, IT'S ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT APP VOTES IN HISTORY! Bray cut a promo while his cronies were behind him lit by flashlights. When did they join the Midnight Society? Bray cut a fantastic street preacher promo and had the crowd singing with him by the end. A Torito-Hornswoggle recap led to a 6-man tag. Mascarita Dorada just pinned Drew McIntyre. Amazing. Drew was once pegged to be world champ and was married to Taryn Terrell. Boy has his life gone in a different direction. ORTON'S PANTS STREAK IS OVER! HHH ENDED THE STREAK! Big Dapper Dave is amazing.
Evolution's new tron rules. HHH's voice is shot, and Orton's not very good at saying scripted stuff. EVOLUTION MURDERING FUCKERS was shown. Shield came down and Ambrose cut a great promo. Rollins followed up by not being quite as good, but getting better citing that Evolution is a group of selfish individuals, while the Shield is a united front. Evolution brought out all the mid-card heels to counter the Shield going up the ramp.
A NEW ADAM ROSE VID AIRED! Sadly, he's not debuting tonight...actually, that might not be bad. This show is full-bore building ER, and it's a more serious show so far. Putting him on this wouldn't give him a chance to really shine. They used a new graphic style for the WWE Network hype. They hyped up the HOF stuff and Cole talked about it BEING LIKE NETFLIX, BUT BETTER! Guarantee they get a legal letter for that slogan. Cole talked about the Uso wedding. Because it's not hard to enough to figure out which twin is which, they also have different stage and real names to keep track of. Rybaxel was out for Usos-Rhodes Bros. Fine little match here, won by the Usos. They teased a breakup for the Rhodes Bros. and Rybaxel destroyed the champs afterwards - this was fun! Mark Henry in Slam City was shown. World's Strongest Penguin FTW!
Layla's out to face Emma. Emma...actually got a reaction! Emma used a pink cobra to beat Layla. God this died a death. Poor Emma. "THAT LEGENDS HOUSE IS HYSTERICAL!" Cole with a minor oversell and some quotes there. Cessaro has a new air raid siren theme and a swank gold tron. Heyman got cut off mid-promo for an ad. They came back and Heyman kept bragging about the Streak then. King said that Heyman wasn't the best manager ever - BOBBY DAVIS was better. JBL, and I, have never heard of him - he was Buddy Rogers' manager. They did a shoulder ram spot because RVD...decided to just put his leg through the rope after avoiding one for some reason.RVD really can't do much right now. The idea of Cesaro facing an original Heyman guy, and former ECW and WWE World Champion is sound...the execution doesn't work in 2014. FACE WASH by Cesaro! A nasty butterfly powerbomb by Cesaro got 2.9. Cesaro set up the swing, but Swagger and Zeb came down. Cesaro was distracted, but still hit the uppercut to a soaring RVD. Heyman demanded he toss him in. Swagger chucked him into the post, and RVD wins by countout. Well, that was a shit finish - I don't mind the idea of Cesaro tearing through Swagger, but it should've been on TV. CESARO TEASED A SWING TO ZEB! Swagger saved him, but ate the swing anyway. Bryan-Kane recap.
RVD bragged about this shitty win, and Heyman said he should be ashamed of that win. Looking forward to Cesaro getting a clean win either on ME or SD. Aksana's out in a hot Halloween-colored getup. She's facing Paige, and they hyped up Paige-Tamina by saying TAMINA IS THE MOST DOMINANT DIVA EVER. HOW IS TAMINA DOMINANT!? She's won one match in a year. Aksana's gear is torn near the ass area. They said Aksana did a veteran move. Aksana is now a veteran!? Paige screamed (which Robinson sold), hit the short arm clotheslines and won with the scorpion cross lock. LAST WEEK, SD BECAME THE MOST-WATCHED FRIDAY SHOW FOR THE THIRD WEEK IN A ROW. Wow. Cesaro-Swagger is happening on SD. Okay, now RVD-Cesaro on TV this week would make sense - but Swagger-Cesaro, if Cesaro isn't going to just have a rematch with him on PPV, makes no sense.
Rusev killing black guys on TV got a highlight reel. LANA'S TRON AND THEME HIT! Rusev gets to massacre Truth and Woods on PPV. Good for Woods to get a PPV payday. This was Rusev's longest TV match and his best - Cara got a bit of offense and it wound up being a pretty decent match. Cena's out, so it's time for the main event. Cena's going to face the whole group. Wyatts came down and got a full clap for their intro. They did stuff. And stuff. More stuff. It's just going on and on. Cena and Bray have a brief exchange before the goons come in and brawl. King referenced Wyatt not being happy with the outcome, so I guess it was DQ, but they never formally announced it. Sister Abigail to Cena and Bray just kept singing. Weird.
The post-show begins with the end of the singing and Wyatt saying no one can take them out. SHIELD-WYATTS ON THE POST-SHOW! Quick Shield ass-kicking and the Wyatts just leave.
Screens
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/t4f1i7ezhc3ix28w5cb540nssr0wkwod
A Shield-HHH video started the show. Bryan came out looking like he spent the day crying. Brie was in the ring, and they talked about those two being a power couple. Cue Steph. Steph called the Briana/Bryan Danielson wedding crunchy...what? Kane came out and attacked Bryan, Steph yelled at Brie to run...so I guess she's a face. Tombstone on the floor from Kane...well, I think this might've been better than the match will be. Tombstone ON THE STEPS! They're at least doing a great job giving a reason for their match to be an extreme rules one. Gotta say, this worked at making me want to see Bryan-Kane, which I didn't think was possible - even with Steph saying shit throughout it. This is the right time and as right a way as you're going to get to write him out a bit longer. KANE YOU STOP IT! I SAID STOP! Steph rules. Kane tombstoned him on the announce table. Can't wait for that to get a 2 at the PPV. Steph called him a bastard. The crowd chanted "you're a bastard" at Kane. This was 15 minutes of good stuff. To counter TNA's bearded champion beating the monster, WWE had their monster destroy the champion with three finishers. Can't wait for Abyss to Black Hole Slam EY three times on Impact.
They came back with Brie by his side as he was taken out on a stretcher. Cole called Kane THE MALIGNANT SPIRIT!? Steph was all sarcastic with the belts in her hands. Between looking hot and being great on the mic, this role is just perfect for her. BAD NEWS BARRETT AND HIS CAPE CAME OUT! This is by far Barrett's best gimmick since the Nexus. Sadly, he said "his news wasn't as bad as Bryan's". Barrett got a huge pop and even Sheamus got one too. Then they clubbered until a break! I'm loving this show so far. Wade's chest got beaten red with the chest clubbering. Wade kicked him in the face, climbed up top and got hit with the White Noise for a close 2 count. Crazy Cactus Jack-flip over crossbody from Sheamus. FLASH BULL HAMMER. BARRETT WINS! THIS RULED!
Ryder, Jackman, and Dolph clips aired. Wow, it's been 2 1/2 years since Ryder meant jack shit. Tonight, IT'S ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT APP VOTES IN HISTORY! Bray cut a promo while his cronies were behind him lit by flashlights. When did they join the Midnight Society? Bray cut a fantastic street preacher promo and had the crowd singing with him by the end. A Torito-Hornswoggle recap led to a 6-man tag. Mascarita Dorada just pinned Drew McIntyre. Amazing. Drew was once pegged to be world champ and was married to Taryn Terrell. Boy has his life gone in a different direction. ORTON'S PANTS STREAK IS OVER! HHH ENDED THE STREAK! Big Dapper Dave is amazing.
Evolution's new tron rules. HHH's voice is shot, and Orton's not very good at saying scripted stuff. EVOLUTION MURDERING FUCKERS was shown. Shield came down and Ambrose cut a great promo. Rollins followed up by not being quite as good, but getting better citing that Evolution is a group of selfish individuals, while the Shield is a united front. Evolution brought out all the mid-card heels to counter the Shield going up the ramp.
A NEW ADAM ROSE VID AIRED! Sadly, he's not debuting tonight...actually, that might not be bad. This show is full-bore building ER, and it's a more serious show so far. Putting him on this wouldn't give him a chance to really shine. They used a new graphic style for the WWE Network hype. They hyped up the HOF stuff and Cole talked about it BEING LIKE NETFLIX, BUT BETTER! Guarantee they get a legal letter for that slogan. Cole talked about the Uso wedding. Because it's not hard to enough to figure out which twin is which, they also have different stage and real names to keep track of. Rybaxel was out for Usos-Rhodes Bros. Fine little match here, won by the Usos. They teased a breakup for the Rhodes Bros. and Rybaxel destroyed the champs afterwards - this was fun! Mark Henry in Slam City was shown. World's Strongest Penguin FTW!
Layla's out to face Emma. Emma...actually got a reaction! Emma used a pink cobra to beat Layla. God this died a death. Poor Emma. "THAT LEGENDS HOUSE IS HYSTERICAL!" Cole with a minor oversell and some quotes there. Cessaro has a new air raid siren theme and a swank gold tron. Heyman got cut off mid-promo for an ad. They came back and Heyman kept bragging about the Streak then. King said that Heyman wasn't the best manager ever - BOBBY DAVIS was better. JBL, and I, have never heard of him - he was Buddy Rogers' manager. They did a shoulder ram spot because RVD...decided to just put his leg through the rope after avoiding one for some reason.RVD really can't do much right now. The idea of Cesaro facing an original Heyman guy, and former ECW and WWE World Champion is sound...the execution doesn't work in 2014. FACE WASH by Cesaro! A nasty butterfly powerbomb by Cesaro got 2.9. Cesaro set up the swing, but Swagger and Zeb came down. Cesaro was distracted, but still hit the uppercut to a soaring RVD. Heyman demanded he toss him in. Swagger chucked him into the post, and RVD wins by countout. Well, that was a shit finish - I don't mind the idea of Cesaro tearing through Swagger, but it should've been on TV. CESARO TEASED A SWING TO ZEB! Swagger saved him, but ate the swing anyway. Bryan-Kane recap.
RVD bragged about this shitty win, and Heyman said he should be ashamed of that win. Looking forward to Cesaro getting a clean win either on ME or SD. Aksana's out in a hot Halloween-colored getup. She's facing Paige, and they hyped up Paige-Tamina by saying TAMINA IS THE MOST DOMINANT DIVA EVER. HOW IS TAMINA DOMINANT!? She's won one match in a year. Aksana's gear is torn near the ass area. They said Aksana did a veteran move. Aksana is now a veteran!? Paige screamed (which Robinson sold), hit the short arm clotheslines and won with the scorpion cross lock. LAST WEEK, SD BECAME THE MOST-WATCHED FRIDAY SHOW FOR THE THIRD WEEK IN A ROW. Wow. Cesaro-Swagger is happening on SD. Okay, now RVD-Cesaro on TV this week would make sense - but Swagger-Cesaro, if Cesaro isn't going to just have a rematch with him on PPV, makes no sense.
Rusev killing black guys on TV got a highlight reel. LANA'S TRON AND THEME HIT! Rusev gets to massacre Truth and Woods on PPV. Good for Woods to get a PPV payday. This was Rusev's longest TV match and his best - Cara got a bit of offense and it wound up being a pretty decent match. Cena's out, so it's time for the main event. Cena's going to face the whole group. Wyatts came down and got a full clap for their intro. They did stuff. And stuff. More stuff. It's just going on and on. Cena and Bray have a brief exchange before the goons come in and brawl. King referenced Wyatt not being happy with the outcome, so I guess it was DQ, but they never formally announced it. Sister Abigail to Cena and Bray just kept singing. Weird.
The post-show begins with the end of the singing and Wyatt saying no one can take them out. SHIELD-WYATTS ON THE POST-SHOW! Quick Shield ass-kicking and the Wyatts just leave.
Screens
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/t4f1i7ezhc3ix28w5cb540nssr0wkwod
Friday, April 18, 2014
Legends of WrestleMania - Ultimate Warrior
Confidential Classic showcases Regal's love of reptiles. He's aged a ton in a decade. Ted Sr. has aged shockingly little for a guy who's been retired for 20 years. They ran the memorial MV and Booker talked about a photo of Booker, Sharmell and Warrior having an orb over his head. And more about the orb. Lots about the orb. Sarge somehow works in how nasty Warrior was at times, while Ted talked about having a lot of differences with him, he was still glad to see him be so happy at the HOF. Then Josh segues poorly into talking about Linda inducting him, and they just played some of the doc. Show and other talking heads chatted about him. Kane talked about seeing Warrior live before his TV debut in a match against Herc. Emma thanked Warrior for inspiring her first ring gear, with tassles. Hogan talked about Hogan-Warrior with some color chart comparisons. Batista talked about Warrior loving the rope shaking bit.
Josh hyped up STING, THE ICON! Basic interview clip with him talking about them sending out press kits. Ted talked about working them in MSW when they were young. Ted talked about the fans in Japan knowing him and cheering for him and not so much cheering Warrior. Sarge and Warrior stuff was shown from the HOF - the little thing in the bag from the doc was A POTATO! Wacky Warrior promos aired. Josh compared Warrior's promo to Booker's general speech making no sense. Vince talked more about the selfie. I like that we're getting some extended documentary talking head bits here. Wow, I didn't notice that Warrior had the tattoo in '92 - I just noticed it in '96, but it's clearly there in the Ultimate Maniacs clip. Surface-level stuff got in about the split in '92 and '96. Hunter talked about talking with Warrior enough to where he considered him a friend. HHH broke down talking about his kids, and how grateful Warrior was to be able to get inducted with his kids there. A clip was shown with Warrior hugging HHH and man was he ever red. God, then they showed him hugging and kissing his kids...yargh. Sarge closed this out with a great quote. "He's the Ultimate Angel now - probably shaking the pearly gates as they've never been shook before." - go Sarge! This deal wasn't all that memorable on its own since it had so many repeat clips, but it was worth watching for that bit.
Screens -
Josh hyped up STING, THE ICON! Basic interview clip with him talking about them sending out press kits. Ted talked about working them in MSW when they were young. Ted talked about the fans in Japan knowing him and cheering for him and not so much cheering Warrior. Sarge and Warrior stuff was shown from the HOF - the little thing in the bag from the doc was A POTATO! Wacky Warrior promos aired. Josh compared Warrior's promo to Booker's general speech making no sense. Vince talked more about the selfie. I like that we're getting some extended documentary talking head bits here. Wow, I didn't notice that Warrior had the tattoo in '92 - I just noticed it in '96, but it's clearly there in the Ultimate Maniacs clip. Surface-level stuff got in about the split in '92 and '96. Hunter talked about talking with Warrior enough to where he considered him a friend. HHH broke down talking about his kids, and how grateful Warrior was to be able to get inducted with his kids there. A clip was shown with Warrior hugging HHH and man was he ever red. God, then they showed him hugging and kissing his kids...yargh. Sarge closed this out with a great quote. "He's the Ultimate Angel now - probably shaking the pearly gates as they've never been shook before." - go Sarge! This deal wasn't all that memorable on its own since it had so many repeat clips, but it was worth watching for that bit.
Screens -
SD 4-18-14
Big E's out to start the show. His inset promo talks about him being the king of popping and locking and putting over his opponents. HE NOW FACES ALBERTO IN YET ANOTHER MATCH. Cole rattles off IC Title Facts and Big E hits the Warrior splash - which is perfect for him in 2K14. ADR got DQed for doing an armbar for too long and took a Big Ending. Wow. Streak recap. HHH is out talking about the Shield, so this will probably start the U.S. show off. Great recap of the Evolution-Shield deal. Heyman did a fairly generic promo about Brock conquering the streak, being The One, and made it stand out by being far more animated than usual and moving around the area a lot. A Torito-Hornswoggle recap video aired. THEN THEY GOT A TALE OF THE TAPE! Paige is out to face Aksana. I like her kneelifts on the apron. Great repeating shortarm clotheslines too. Scorpion cross lock gets the win - that finish rules! Sheamus cut a promo on Batista, fella. TORITO-HORNSWOGGLE IS NEXT!
RUNNING RANA BY TORITO! JBL praises 3MB for helping Hornswoggle, but not having a good win/loss record themselves. He loves these kinds of wacky matches, and was fantastic during Hornswoggle-Lil Boogey eons ago. Big clothesline from Horny! Hornswoggle is such a great cocky heel. GORE TO THE BUTT! BROCO BUSTER! MOONSAULT GETS THE WIN! TORITO WINS! TORITO WINS! Barrett came out bearing some BAD NEWS! The fans liking Torito-Hornswoggle proves they're idiots- THANK YOU! Truth gets to be killed by Rusev. Lana w/ legs and theme came out. Lana demanded he crush! AND HE CRUSHED! Fantastic Warrior tribute vid aired - that music video is one of their best ever.
Fandango and Layla came out to face Santino in yet another match for whatever reason. Emma and Layla brawled and Santino won with a sunset flip. Kane-Steph recap from Raw. Batista-Sheamus! Odd to put this brand-new match on TV for free when it could really be a PPV match at some point, but it should be quite good. JBL put over Evolution-Shield as being on par with getting the Freebirds against the Horsemen...depends on the version, but sure. Batista and Sheamus had a fun physical match with a lot of striking, a boomerang neck snap from Batista, and a touch of ground and pound from Sheamus. I like Batista crotching Sheamus on the ropes as a setup for the Batista bomb and the win - it was different and done logically.
Screens -
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/310x0cjpr0zlind7h3mfpuwdamoh5w88
RUNNING RANA BY TORITO! JBL praises 3MB for helping Hornswoggle, but not having a good win/loss record themselves. He loves these kinds of wacky matches, and was fantastic during Hornswoggle-Lil Boogey eons ago. Big clothesline from Horny! Hornswoggle is such a great cocky heel. GORE TO THE BUTT! BROCO BUSTER! MOONSAULT GETS THE WIN! TORITO WINS! TORITO WINS! Barrett came out bearing some BAD NEWS! The fans liking Torito-Hornswoggle proves they're idiots- THANK YOU! Truth gets to be killed by Rusev. Lana w/ legs and theme came out. Lana demanded he crush! AND HE CRUSHED! Fantastic Warrior tribute vid aired - that music video is one of their best ever.
Fandango and Layla came out to face Santino in yet another match for whatever reason. Emma and Layla brawled and Santino won with a sunset flip. Kane-Steph recap from Raw. Batista-Sheamus! Odd to put this brand-new match on TV for free when it could really be a PPV match at some point, but it should be quite good. JBL put over Evolution-Shield as being on par with getting the Freebirds against the Horsemen...depends on the version, but sure. Batista and Sheamus had a fun physical match with a lot of striking, a boomerang neck snap from Batista, and a touch of ground and pound from Sheamus. I like Batista crotching Sheamus on the ropes as a setup for the Batista bomb and the win - it was different and done logically.
Screens -
Thursday, April 17, 2014
Warrior Week - The Ultimate Legend Documentary
WWE's out to prove they can make great documentaries in next to no time once again. Now they're tasked with telling a man's story that is quite complex and who they as a company have had issues with for over two decades. Warrior is shown coming back to WWE HQ on March 14. Wrestlefest clips and stuff from a Slim Jim ad were shown. Cena talked about Warrior being so eye-catching. Sting is now a talking head, and looks quite old without the makeup. Warrior is shown talking to WWE folks about The Ultimate Warrior being to him what Mickey Mouse was to Walt Disney, and they showed tons of merch ideas for him. Warrior is shown being so happy in these interviews. Sting talked about Rick Bassman and Warrior. Thank God Sting left TNA so this could be done. Zeb talked about being their manager in Memphis to help coach them, so now he's Dutch as well. Mid-South/UWF clips of the team are shown. Boy was that mascara look something else. Dingo Warrior sounds like a stupid name, but it actually works well for chants. Warrior at WM XXX weekend talking about how things back in the days of the "WW-Letter After E". They did a rehearsal for the HOF bit at WM XXX. Cllips of the Terry Gibb debut squash were shown - the rough draft Warrior became the final draft with so many minor, but big changes. Nice bit with Warrior in a current clip being shaved - he looked better that way.
Warrior talks about veterans telling him to knock some shit off, but he'd just keep doing it and say he forgot since Vince liked it. Dolph talked about loving the HTM-Warrior squash at Summerslam. I just noticed that Warrior knocks Fink off the apron running around. Warrior said that the fans were so hyped they shook his car to the side. The origins of Hogan-Warrior, including a photo of Vince in a bright neon green workout shirt, were shown. Cesaro's talking heads in a swank suit ruled. Ambrose looks sleazy even in a talking head. Hogan's post-match selling of the agony of defeat to the blind man outside the building was amazing. These high quality photos of the event rule - they're perfect for the HD era. Warrior was as old in the WM VI match as I am now...wow. Looking at his post WM-VI clips, one of the things he did to change it up was go with three colors on the paint, tights, and tassles instead of just two - it's a small thing, but it makes the look more complex. Sarge met with Warrior before the HOF showing him something from their last match. Warrior's arms look much smaller than they did in his comeback match. Warrior's red, white, and blue gear was beautiful. Warrior thanked Randy for letting the finish be with a foot on the chest. They talked about the Summerslam '91 deal. Warrior didn't know it would be his last match. Vince talked about the importance of "promoting the Ultimate Warrior brand" at that time. Warrior's WM VIII return was shown, with him looking soft and much smaller. He cut a wacky promo at a press conference in a blue hoodie. Warrior talked about being the champion again in '92. It was weird seeing him subdued at this thing.
Warrior talked about the return being hurt by the steroid testing. Vince talked about Warrior and Davey using HGH and how they didn't quite break the rules. Vince said Warrior was offended by him being opposed to this. Yes, Warrior somehow opposed VINCE BEING AGAINST STEROID USE. Warrior said that for his '96 return, Vince talked about him missing the fame. Warrior said sure, he did, but he always just did new stuff. Hall and Warrior talked about Bischoff getting pissed during the NWO era. Warrior said the key to the WCW run would have to be a good idea and a good paycheck. They added some weird translucent WCW bug to the Nitro debut. Kinda surprised Warrior would say "ultimate" in his WCW debut promo. Cesaro buried the mirror. Warrior buried the company's politics, as did Sting. Warrior said there was no Vince there to run the show. "They used Ted Turner's paycheck to pay me to lose to Hulk." summed it up nicely. Hogan said the Havoc match was one of the worst he ever had. Yup. It was quite a bit worse than his Sting match in 2011, which seems impossible. Warrior said if he knew it would be that bad, he'd have never come back.
THE SELF-DESTRUCTION OF THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR was talked about by Hall and Warrior, which Warrior buried it. They showed Bruce Prichard from the DVD, of course, since he's not with the company anymore. Warrior basically buried this thing for burying a money-making brand in his character. Warrior said he was asked to go into the Hall in Arizona, but he couldn't do it due to the DVD. I like that - he had his code and he didn't want to violate it. Stuff was shown from their 2007 lawsuit over the use of the Ultimate Warrior character and hurting its value. Hogan on the original DVD that he'd break his legs, and in '09, it led to a legal issue. Clips of Hogan in the '09 court deal were shown. Warrior dead-weighted Vince on a handshake then since he'd been disrespected enough by him. Warrior comes off great here - if you fuck him over, he won't blow smoke up your ass. He'll just let you know you're a prick and move on. I'm surprised to here his candid comments about the settlement. "The settlement was all shit" was uncensored here. Warrior marked out over HHH's WM XXX crown gimmick. HHH actually has the world title in his office. HHH showed him the performance center setup so he can watch stuff whenever he wants.
Warrior showed up and said the HOF is where the broken down and disabled come. After Warrior buried Vince for his "heya buddy!" bit before, HE USED IT ON VINCE! Then he said that Vince was the only guy not aging, and it must be that wellness center. Steph was perplexed by Linda inducting Warrior, and Steph said he was their babysitter and Shane would tackle him constantly. Warrior wanted Linda to induct him because she and he were friends - Warrior would stay in their house. Warrior signed Vince's favorite book "The Little Engine that Could!" THEN WARRIOR READ THE LITTLE ENGINE THAT COULD! Vince teared up at the idea that Warrior remembered his love of it. HHH teared up talking about Warrior being with his daughters and that the HOF with them made all the bullshit worth it. Vince was shown reading the book while talking on the headset. Warrior and Vince talked after the HOF, with Vince holding the book like Flair did a title. HHH asked Hogan to not talk to Warrior after the HOF as a personal favor to him. Hogan and Warrior talked at WM about starting over. Warrior accepted Hogan's apology. Hogan's eyes are scarily bloodshot in this talking head. Warrior was shown in a rolled-up shirt with jacked up arm veins.
Steph talked about Warrior wanting to be the Ultimate Warrior one more time on Raw. His wife and kids were shown in the crowd...this is gonna be tough. Now his younger daughter is talking about how great her dad was after Raw. Steph took the Vince/Warrior pic and Warrior said he always thought of Vince like a father. Vince cried thinking about that being the last photo of them together. Warrior walked backstage with his kids. HHH talked about it being so great to see Warrior's non-stop smile the whole week. News clips of his passing were shown. HHH found out through his assistant that Warrior died via a text from Dana. They played a piano rendition of Warrior's theme while HHH talked about Warrior viewing Vince as the father he never had. Sting said it was surreal to hear his final promo about a heart beating its final beat and that happening to him. Sting said all this great stuff happened for him and then poof, he's gone. Vince said Warrior would want everyone to celebrate Warrior. This was fantastic!
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Warrior talks about veterans telling him to knock some shit off, but he'd just keep doing it and say he forgot since Vince liked it. Dolph talked about loving the HTM-Warrior squash at Summerslam. I just noticed that Warrior knocks Fink off the apron running around. Warrior said that the fans were so hyped they shook his car to the side. The origins of Hogan-Warrior, including a photo of Vince in a bright neon green workout shirt, were shown. Cesaro's talking heads in a swank suit ruled. Ambrose looks sleazy even in a talking head. Hogan's post-match selling of the agony of defeat to the blind man outside the building was amazing. These high quality photos of the event rule - they're perfect for the HD era. Warrior was as old in the WM VI match as I am now...wow. Looking at his post WM-VI clips, one of the things he did to change it up was go with three colors on the paint, tights, and tassles instead of just two - it's a small thing, but it makes the look more complex. Sarge met with Warrior before the HOF showing him something from their last match. Warrior's arms look much smaller than they did in his comeback match. Warrior's red, white, and blue gear was beautiful. Warrior thanked Randy for letting the finish be with a foot on the chest. They talked about the Summerslam '91 deal. Warrior didn't know it would be his last match. Vince talked about the importance of "promoting the Ultimate Warrior brand" at that time. Warrior's WM VIII return was shown, with him looking soft and much smaller. He cut a wacky promo at a press conference in a blue hoodie. Warrior talked about being the champion again in '92. It was weird seeing him subdued at this thing.
Warrior talked about the return being hurt by the steroid testing. Vince talked about Warrior and Davey using HGH and how they didn't quite break the rules. Vince said Warrior was offended by him being opposed to this. Yes, Warrior somehow opposed VINCE BEING AGAINST STEROID USE. Warrior said that for his '96 return, Vince talked about him missing the fame. Warrior said sure, he did, but he always just did new stuff. Hall and Warrior talked about Bischoff getting pissed during the NWO era. Warrior said the key to the WCW run would have to be a good idea and a good paycheck. They added some weird translucent WCW bug to the Nitro debut. Kinda surprised Warrior would say "ultimate" in his WCW debut promo. Cesaro buried the mirror. Warrior buried the company's politics, as did Sting. Warrior said there was no Vince there to run the show. "They used Ted Turner's paycheck to pay me to lose to Hulk." summed it up nicely. Hogan said the Havoc match was one of the worst he ever had. Yup. It was quite a bit worse than his Sting match in 2011, which seems impossible. Warrior said if he knew it would be that bad, he'd have never come back.
THE SELF-DESTRUCTION OF THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR was talked about by Hall and Warrior, which Warrior buried it. They showed Bruce Prichard from the DVD, of course, since he's not with the company anymore. Warrior basically buried this thing for burying a money-making brand in his character. Warrior said he was asked to go into the Hall in Arizona, but he couldn't do it due to the DVD. I like that - he had his code and he didn't want to violate it. Stuff was shown from their 2007 lawsuit over the use of the Ultimate Warrior character and hurting its value. Hogan on the original DVD that he'd break his legs, and in '09, it led to a legal issue. Clips of Hogan in the '09 court deal were shown. Warrior dead-weighted Vince on a handshake then since he'd been disrespected enough by him. Warrior comes off great here - if you fuck him over, he won't blow smoke up your ass. He'll just let you know you're a prick and move on. I'm surprised to here his candid comments about the settlement. "The settlement was all shit" was uncensored here. Warrior marked out over HHH's WM XXX crown gimmick. HHH actually has the world title in his office. HHH showed him the performance center setup so he can watch stuff whenever he wants.
Warrior showed up and said the HOF is where the broken down and disabled come. After Warrior buried Vince for his "heya buddy!" bit before, HE USED IT ON VINCE! Then he said that Vince was the only guy not aging, and it must be that wellness center. Steph was perplexed by Linda inducting Warrior, and Steph said he was their babysitter and Shane would tackle him constantly. Warrior wanted Linda to induct him because she and he were friends - Warrior would stay in their house. Warrior signed Vince's favorite book "The Little Engine that Could!" THEN WARRIOR READ THE LITTLE ENGINE THAT COULD! Vince teared up at the idea that Warrior remembered his love of it. HHH teared up talking about Warrior being with his daughters and that the HOF with them made all the bullshit worth it. Vince was shown reading the book while talking on the headset. Warrior and Vince talked after the HOF, with Vince holding the book like Flair did a title. HHH asked Hogan to not talk to Warrior after the HOF as a personal favor to him. Hogan and Warrior talked at WM about starting over. Warrior accepted Hogan's apology. Hogan's eyes are scarily bloodshot in this talking head. Warrior was shown in a rolled-up shirt with jacked up arm veins.
Steph talked about Warrior wanting to be the Ultimate Warrior one more time on Raw. His wife and kids were shown in the crowd...this is gonna be tough. Now his younger daughter is talking about how great her dad was after Raw. Steph took the Vince/Warrior pic and Warrior said he always thought of Vince like a father. Vince cried thinking about that being the last photo of them together. Warrior walked backstage with his kids. HHH talked about it being so great to see Warrior's non-stop smile the whole week. News clips of his passing were shown. HHH found out through his assistant that Warrior died via a text from Dana. They played a piano rendition of Warrior's theme while HHH talked about Warrior viewing Vince as the father he never had. Sting said it was surreal to hear his final promo about a heart beating its final beat and that happening to him. Sting said all this great stuff happened for him and then poof, he's gone. Vince said Warrior would want everyone to celebrate Warrior. This was fantastic!
Screens -
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