Tuesday, April 15, 2014

WWE Network Live Craziness for 4-15-14

It's tax day...yay...I missed the Cena-Wyatt deal to get some work done, but caught it in time for a Piper-Sammartino deal with Piper calling him a "stupid wop" without any bleeping. A longer Legends House ad has the guys handing out fruitcakes to neighbors...A LOS GUERREROS SKIT! The graphic is largely cut off by the HD cropping though. THEY'RE MEN! MEN ON A MISSION! I demand that Scorpio's video air as filler. The Story of Edge airs on Saturday.

WWE Main Event

Los Matadores came out to face 3MB. It's now a best of nine trillion series. Jinder countered Torito with HORNSWOGGLE THE HARD ROCKER! THIS IS BY A WIDE MARGIN THE GREATEST THING HORNSWOGGLE HAS EVER DONE! They said this was due to Torito and Hornswoggle doing stuff at the HOF. This should really be a 2.5 vs. 2.5 man tag - I'm tired  of the basic tag, but could go for a wacky comedy match. A little brawl broke out causing a DQ. EVERYONE GOT HIT IN THE BALLS, THEN DWARVES BRAWLED! This was everything I wanted! A new Warrior graphic aired to hype up the network special later.

Hunicara came out in a swank yellow, black, red, and white getup. A super cocky BAD NEWS BARRETT came out. I love that he's got his swagger back with this. After that comedy, Barrett had the nerve to say THIS IS REAL LIFE - NOT A CARTOON. IC Tourney graphic got profile shots for it. FLIP BUMP FROM BARRETT for a suicide dive. Nice. Love BNB trying to get The Clap back over - now with "BAD-news!" This was a ton of fun. Barrett either whooped ass or took great bumps for Cara, then got the win with the Bull Hammer after the Winds of Change.

A Warrior tribute recap aired. Lilian awkwardly introduced a battle. Royale. For the. Divas title. At Extreme Rules. FOXAKSANA EXPLODES! Emma was eliminated by her own clumsiness, and an errant kick from Nikki. Layla missed LOL badly. Naomi took a crazy bump to the floor off the apron. Nikki with a shot right to the fox box during a split on the top. Tamina gets the win with a superkick. The crowd reacts with zero reaction. Evolution recap is next. The recap of the Shield-main event thing was no less goofy. Swagger-Show's actually in the main event spot. I heart Zeb's signs. They were great in SMW and they're fantastic now. Zeb cut a promo on Cesaro. Zeb being back to a wacky racist character kinda sucks. Boy are Show and Swagger's singlets similar. I like Swagger focusing on leg destruction here. Remember when the long ankle lock was a big spot in HBK-Angle? Now it's just a C-show main event spot in a nothing match. It led to the KO punch. This was a fun show.

WrestleMania XIX - Jericho-HBK

This should be a good special - they've already got HD-ready footage for it thanks to WM XIX also being shot on film for the Mania of WrestleMania movie. So now, for this special, that Jericho title win over HHH counted!  HBK-HHH is covered. God, the cropping is murdering these clips. The backbreaker and elbow were barely visible. Bill Apter - SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT JOURNALIST chimed in. The match itself has held up quite nicely, but the special itself wasn't too special.

Xavier Woods on the inbox was filler. The Warrior stuff appears to "just" be some of the matches from his new DVD set. Shawn recorded a clip via his phone that is new thanking Warrior for his contributions to wrestling. It's amazing how similar, yet different, the early Ultimate Warrior gimmick looks like compared to what it would be. Warrior beat Barry Horrowitz with a... weird cover. Nice of Ricky to bust out his old VHS camcorder for this. Steamboat broke into tears here. STING MAKES HIS WWE DEBUT! Warrior-HTM is up. Batista talked about loving Warrior, and looking at least 50. Jericho cut a promo with his phone and his Mac. Jericho singing his theme is glorious.

Andre-Warrior at SNME for the IC Title is up. I've never seen this match, but I've seen other matches between them...so I doubt it'll be too different. Andre going for the secondary title is weird, but man does the idea of Warrior not only taking out Andre, but doing so super-quickly really work to set up Hogan-Warrior in the back of your mind. They did a weird cut when Warrior starting choking Andre with the singlet. God, Andre looks a decade older here than he did at WM 3. Vince of course talks about THE VASCULARITY of Warrior. Andre chokes him with the rope. So rope chokes are fine, but not singlet chokes. I love Jesse calling a spade a spade to not 100% fully back a heel when Heenan says Warrior's using the tights for the bearhug and he disagrees. Andre gets a bearhug and leaves his head exposed. Network goes wonky during some corner chops. It came back and rewound things a bit. OF ALL MATCHES TO SEE PARTS OF AGAIN! Heenan got Andre DQed with interference. This was dreadful.

"Razor Ramon" on the graphic with @ScottHallNWO on his shirt cut a promo looking a decade older than he did at the HOF. An ESPN anchor named Robert Flores  hyped up seeing Warrior in Mid-South and IN THE TOKYO DOME! Or the Egg Dome, as it's known. I remember loving this match on World Tour '90. Amazing that Ted went from being a big deal in All Japan to just being squashed in this. God, these bumps sound rough. This match might've taken years off of Ted's career. This is a lot longer than I remember - maybe the CV version was edited heavily. Ted's piledriver got 2. CJ Parker cut a promo in the trees talking about Warrior. Sami Zayn cut a promo about Warrior being his favorite when he took over for Hogan, due to his high energy act. Warrior and his powder blue belt cut a promo on Rude. The white one used in the Ted match is better.

Rude always had THE greatest sell for an atomic drop ever. Rude bonks him with the belt. A DASTARDLY TACTIC! Marella lifted THE LEG UP for a sleeper since the arm wasn't available. Heenan caused a DQ. Cena cut a promo, fittingly in neon, putting over Warrior's hard work ethic. Hogan said Warrior was everything the business should be. Warrior Man cut a fantastic promo. A Miz Main Event hype video aired. Big E's "I Need Five" bit got used to hype up his daily WWE Network intake.

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