Monday, April 14, 2014

Raw 4-14-14

It's hard to believe it's only been a week since last week's Raw - it seems like both it and WM were months ago. Holly-Snow in the river is the pre-pre-show match. The pre-show starts with Booker saying that Warrior was too outspoken at times, with Slaughter and Riley also on the panel. Slaughter looks absolutely ancient. YAY "Monster" is playing! Recap of the Shield/Bryan-Authority stuff from Raw. Big E beats Titus on Superstars. They announced the IC Title shot tourney and said was due to Christian being injured. Legends House clip. Just who is the target market for senior citizens re-enacting a scene from The Full Monty? They recapped Cena-Wyatt with them going too far into "the dark side" stuff. Los Matadores came out to face 3MB in another of their best of nine million series. Paige and Renee talked. Time for Rene-aige shipping! It's Warrior Week EXCLUSIVELY ON THE WWE NETWORK. Well, this seems...slightly exploitative. I'm all for them taking care of Cesaro-Swagger in the tourney and then giving Cesaro the title.

Raw opened with the crew on the ramp and they played an amazing video for him. His final promo will go down as a classic, and this whole deal was both hearbreaking when they showed his family and sweet because it was all about him having a goodbye to wrestling and he got it. Plus, his family will make a mint off of the merch, which doesn't replace losing him, but is a help. I'd have been fine with a commercial break instead of anything current after all that. Instead, they talked about the tag champs facing Orton and Batista, and hyped up the tourney. RVD-ADR is after the break.

They talked about ADR never holding the IC Title and that being THE ONE FEATHER he's never had. Or the U.S. Title, or the tag titles. Nice bump to the dasher board from RVD. They had a nothing match and RVD actually won with the splash! Boy did Alberto beating Big E and Batista mean a lot. This should set up RVD-Cesaro though, which will be fun to see. Bryan's on his honeymoon, so we get a recap of last week's events. Bryan and Brie are off making little Rock babies after WM. Evolution talked but couldn't be heard. Summerslam Warrior-HTM recap. Vince investing so much in production 25 years ago really paid off - this '88 footage looks better than ROH now. A wacky WWE TRU ad aired. 

Evolution talked and now we could hear thanks. They're saying the Shield won't allow Orton and Batista near the they can't ban them from a building now? Rhodes Bros. face Rybaxel. JBL kept burying Bryan calling him a farm animal. HE'S THE WORLD CHAMPION, KNOCK THAT OFF. Guys did moves. I'm wishing for some housework to do. Cole talked about it being a big match. Yup. The winner gets to get destroyed by Evolution. Loser gets to do it first! Meathook in mid-air won! I love that being a flash finisher. They hyped up the WWE Network getting a free week again, and it allowing you to watch WM.

Bo hype. I can't wait for the inevitable "bo-lieve in the Shield" promo and beatdown. Paige faces Alicia here. JBL's losing his shit for...some reason. Alicia did stuff, including a nice tilt a whirl. Crowd died until a nice superkick to the gut from Paige. Usos face Evolution tonight, but it's non-title, so they'll likely be destroyed. They recapped the initial beating. Wow. Batista looks so much shorter than Orton now. Batista's got new black and white gear on. King is...I think making some kind of point about the Usos looking up to Warrior as a kid. He's having an off night - he must still be upset about Warrior wearing a hat on TV 18 years ago. Moves moves moves. Nice Samoan drop from an Uso to Batista. "The Viper's coming out of Orton" that's not very PG. Shield attacks the heels for a DQ. Reigns took Batista out with the Superman punch - I can't wait for Reigns-Batista. Batista's selling of the punch was glorious. Ultimate Challenge clips, and Cesaro-Henry's after the break!

Heyman came out and put over Brock CONQUERING THE STREAK. An outstanding slideshow of Brock-Taker was shown. I could really go for Cesaro-Taker at Summerslam. Heyman said Brock made Taker famous, and that when Brock's advocate speaks, you listen AND HIS NEW CLIENT IS THE KING OF SWING, CESARO! Cesaro and his shiny jacket with a new towel and no theme came down. Mark Henry is shockingly great at playing face in peril. It reminds me of Typhoon doing that at Summerslam '92, but better. Uppercuts to the face, neck, and off the top set up the Neutralizer for the win!

LANA GETS A THEME! Time for Rusev to kill someone. JBL's already hitting on her like he did when Maryse debuted and he wanted to instantly learn French. Truth came down to make the save after Rusev destroyed Woods and got killed too. Lana is amazing. Rusev's look and moveset is unique. They hyped up the WWE Network and the Warrior stuff. Okay, now they're officially using his death for network buys. Then they showed some clips of the Bryan doc. Swagger-Sheamus is up, which led to King talking about Legends House. Swagger and Sheamus did stuff until Swagger did a very impressive belly to belly suplex off of an apron shouldercharge. Moves moves moves. RUNNING MOVES! Nice high knee in the corner from Sheamus. Swagger turned the outside-in shoulderblock into an ankle lock. Brogue kick won. Sheamus-Cesaro should be fun. A glorious Adam Rose vid aired.

Warrior documentary clips aired - it should be quite awesome. HE WILL NOT BE SILENCED...WELL IT'S A BIG SHOW! KO punch after a few eons. What a glorious sell from Sandow. Wyatts "we're next!" Show faces Swagger on ME. Bray cut every promo he's ever cut pre-Cena. He said Cena "just needed a little push", and then Cena came out and said he didn't need another push and had JOKEZ! Cena started talking about Birmingham honies... why is John Cena talking like Will Smith's teenage character from Fresh Prince? Cena talking about Myspace and _____ Machine is sub-Bully Ray. Then we got a "why so serious" reference in 2014 and a wacky Photoshop bit. Wyatt buried this bullshit as being due to Cena being scared. After several eons, Cena said he'd face Wyatt "if the two Santa wannabees" weren't there and that he wasn't "an eater of worlds, just the eater of the world's biggest Cinnabon". And he wants a cage match. Bray accepted and asked his brothers and sisters in the crowd for support. Bray tried to save this. They showed WM 30 clips to hype up the Network and the free trial.

Emma and Santino teamed up against Layla and Fandango to continue a feud no one wants to see. Layla pulled her off the top and won. Steph cut an intense promo on Kane, WHO GRABBED THE MASK! A BoLieve ad about eggs not being able to fly aired. They talked about Warrior Week and showed a bit of his Raw appearance. The Shield faces three question marks later. Dolph-Barrett...I'VE GOT SOME BAD NEWS for Dolph. Adam Rose played Hungry, Hungry Hippos with a bunny. A big Randy Savage chant started off Barrett-Dolph. Cole talked about Austin and Rock having classics for the IC Title. They had classics for the World title, but only had one memorable IC Title match - the one with the truck bumps. They did stuff until Barrett took control with a post shot and Dolph took a stupid bump. Barrett missed a shoulder charge and it led to a CM Punk chant. Barrett's in the best visual shape of his WWE career right now. After A YEAR OFF, it seems like they could rehab him to a World title-level guy if that was a separate thing. Super-sloppy super X factor got 2 for Dolph. Winds of Change got 2. The crowd's back to chanting about the actual match. Flapjack leads to the bull hammer for the win! Can't wait for Barrett-Sheamus, they always have excellent matches. An evil Kane vid aired because he faces Bryan next week. They showed him burning JR and throwing Ryder off a ramp.

Shield came down for the main event at 10:57. Loved Reigns doing the Austin pose in the corner and Rollins doing crazy Warrior movements in the corner. Alberto, Swagger, and FANDANGO came out. 3MB, Titus, Rybaxel, Rusev, and Barrett. Titus tossed around Rollins. Rusev did a chain of elbows. Spear to Ryback led to chaos and a no contest. Crazy Rollins dive on the pile. THE EVOLUTION THEME HIT! RKO to Reigns led to the theme hitting again for a second. Reigns taking a lot of finishers sets up three main events for him. Crowd chanted yes yes yes. Loved Reigns crawling to try and fight here. The post-show now has a giant red curtain behind the panel.

Screens -

No comments:

Post a Comment