Sunday, April 6, 2014

Wrestlemania XXX

The pre-show's two hours, so I'll just be going with highlights. First one being Renee's cleavage. Great promo from Bray as well. He was able to send a man he loved as a brother into the flames, so imagine what he'd do to someone like Cena. An outstanding Bryan recap video led to him cutting an excellent promo. YAY NEW MANIA GEAR for everyone in the tag title elimination match. TOTAL ELIMINATION by the Matadores! This was a really fun match with a crazy tower of doom to the floor spot with Axel and the Matadores. CESARO GOT A WIN beating Ryback with the Very European uppercut and Neutralizer. Cesaro caught an Uso off the top with a tilt a whirl - crazy. VINTAGE WILLOW from the Uso with a whisper in the wind. This match fucking rules! Great superkick escape from the ankle lock. DOUBLE DIVE ON CESARO WINS. Wow. Swagger yelled at Cesaro afterwards. A massive Cesaro chant broke out. Swag got the lock for a sec, but Zeb got him off and DEMANDED a hug. They went to shake, BUT CESARO GOT THE SWING! Booker and Trish touched rings. Booker's HALL OF FAME POWERS ACTIVATE bit ruled. Cesaro's going to get over so huge now. Nice recap of the AJ-divas deal. ITTTT''SSSS TIMMME!

A New Orleans-themed video opened the show. During the Mardi Gras portion, it was a bit generic, but it got epic with all the clips. They did some UFC-style CG blending with the real-life footage. Cole said FOR THE BETTER PART OF FOUR DECADES!? WHAT!? It's not even into the third decade year-wise. Hogan came out and wow does this set and ramp look amazing with the colors changing. They showed the announcers, King THE HEART ATTACK VICTIM, has a Mountain Dew energy drink. Hogan welcomed EVERYONE IN THE SILVERDOME. Whoops.  Hogan corrected himself after the boos and said he was too hyped about WM III. HOLY SHIT. Hogan and Austin in the same ring at WM XXX! Austin had some fun with the Silverdome bit. IT'S THE ROCK! Wow. This is incredible. They got a this is awesome chant. Rock's skinny jeans are amazing. Thank God Hogan fucked up, because it's given them some great material so far. Crowd's chanting Superdome! Cena and Bruno should be out in this for historical purposes. Rock said Cena was fighting later. The Rock is putting over Bryan Danielson being in the main event of WrestleMania 30... this is truly an amazing era. "C'mon mama we got no choice but to start makin Rock babies!" Rock rules. "WM's in its 30th year, tear off your shirt, and grab a beer!"

I called it - Bryan-HHH as the opener! The Bryan hype vid from before aired. The ruler of queendom was mid-ring. HHH got a crazy epic theme and big throne intro with chain mail and a face covering. Bryan got his usual deal, but with newer black and silver trim on one side with red on the other with Brody-esque boot covers. Robinson's face is marking out. Some VINTAGE ROH mat wrestling from Bryan. King said it's on first so that if HHH wins, he has plenty of time to rest. Bryan hit an iffy running tornado DDT off the apron! VINTAGE ROH flip dive...that almost hit. They go to the announce table early. HIT RT BRYAN, COUNTER! YES! HHH fights back by dropping the arm on the table. HHH countered the suicide dive with a punch. HHH is demolishing the arm here. Steph is a fantastic manager here. VINTAGE HBK...ish flying forearm by Bryan! ROLLING PINNING GERMANS! Now this is a weird bit. Crossface chickenwing from HHH! HHH JUST DID A FUCKING TIGER SUPLEX! SUNSET BOMB COUNTERS A HHH SUPERPLEX! CORNER DROPKICKS!!HHH countered the last one with a clothesline with a Janetty sell. AIR GOAT led to the knee and HHH getting a crossface. This is really weird. BRYAN COUNTERS INTO A CRADLE, THEN THE YES LOCK! Bryan got the dive and took a header into the barricade. Second dive led to kicks! KNEE+ COUNTERED WITH A SPINEBUSTER! KICKWHAMPEDIGREE GOT 2! I'm digging this more than the Taker cell match, not as much as the WM 27 match...yet. HHH dragged him to the corner and punched him out on the bottom rope. Pedigree was countered into the Regal-Larry finish from Slamboree '94, but it got 2. HHH still had the hands locked, so he hit him with knees from the side! Cro Cop KICK AND THE KNEE+ GOT THE WIN! Steph distracted Bryan so HHH jumped him and demolished the arm. This is going to be so great.

Outlaws came out to a minor pop. ACES AND 8S FACE MASKS for the Shield. They got truncated entrances, which sucks a bit. Cole talked about what an amazing value the Network is. Roman's new gear rules - it really shows off his physique nicely. Superman punch to an Outlaws. Double dives by the other two. Outlaws ate a double spear. The Shield did the triple powerbomb to both Outalws and it ended. GOOD GOD THIS WAS RUSHED! This was both better because it was quick and worse since absolutely nothing had time to sink in. Hacksaw, Sarge, and DANNY DAVIS played with toys. Steamboat got a cameo. Ted Sr. bought the toys. A match got rushed so old guys could play with toys. This was also rushed. Battle royal time. VINTAGE ANDRE/GIANT GEAR for the Big Show. Frank Shamrock logo still on the tron for Sheamus. And everyone else is already there. This show is now in rush mode, which is not good. Cesaro's in there. Sin Cara's got white and gold Mistico colors on. Fandango got chopped. Ryder got eliminated by 3MB. King made a joke about them being a "Wok band" in China. God, King's like Krusty now. Henry got rid of 3MB, and was eliminated somehow. Gabriel's new gear is outstanding! Looked great as he was thrown out. Rey and Sin Cara and fighting on the apron. Otunga's in! Fandango took out Big E. Poor Big E. Fandango danced on the apron, then got clubbered and eliminated. Alberto kicked Kidd out. Goldust has cool gold and black/black and gold split gear. PS4 feed froze a bit and rewound. 619 to Alberto! Rey's black and gold gear is great. GLORIOUS elimination of Rey, who had the Obey Andre thing on his gear. CESARO GOT UPPERCUTTED! Cesaro chucked Kofi out OVER THE POST, BUT HIS FEET HIT THE STEPS! Kofi got swung! They zoomed in on the ass of the Andre statue. Sheamus took Kofi out and the quality got terrible. Superkick during a Dolph cat-skinning took him out. Sheamus and Alberto took each other out, so it's down to Cesaro and Show! Cesaro PICKED UP SHOW AND SLAMMED HIM OVER THE TOP TO THE FLOOR! Cesaro held the trophy up - the only that would've made this better was Hogan putting it over too.

Cena-Bray's up, and the Network hype vid on it is here. Welp, this is gonna rule. There's a giant stage production going on. VOODOO QUEEN. Like Roxxi, but not. Bray has a peacoat vest! Bray got a live band intro. God bless Bray for finding this song. This is one of the few times where the band can actually play the song so well live that it actually adds to things. Normally, the band just gives no fucks. Brodie Lee is getting a giant band intro for 'Mania 30. Granted, it's as a goon, but still. Goddamn this is surreal. If anyone yells Husky Harris at him during this, I'd like them to be shot at the moon ASAP. The intro got a "that was awesome" chant. Cena got a basic intro, just with a crazy neon color scheme. Bray's got maroon pants on. Bray kneeled down and told Cena to destroy him to show the monster within, but Cena wouldn't. Crazy bodyblock hit Cena, who struck back with a flurry to the delight of Bray. Bray is like the best of Raven and Jake Roberts right now. Cena attacked in the corner...with some ferocity. Cena going for the wacky Scooby Doo body language here. Bray got a bit tossing suplex in. Things got rather plodding for a bit with Cena on offense. Cena went for the fist drop, BUT THE SPIDER WALK fucked that up. Big uranage got 2, and then Bray conducted the orchestra for a bodyblock in the corner. Protobomb hits and no real setup to the fist drop allows it to hit now. APRON DDT TO CENA! Cena did a clumsy dive to the goons to the floor, then got attacked by Bray. Cena was going to bonk him with the steps, but wackily didn't do it. Cena's clown show body language and expressions are killing this match. THIS IS THE HD ERA, it's not needed. Bray got him down and sang after the bodyblock. Senton misses, AA gets 2! Harper's attack gives Bray the senton and a 2! Cena tackled Harper through the barricade, poorly - Reigns did this a billion times better many times over the past 1+. Abigail countered into...something resembling the STF. SNAP ABIGAIL GOT 2.9! Bray's taking apart the announce table...and it happens again. VINTAGE STREAM REWIND! Bray gave Cena a chair. "NO JOHN, IT'S NOT WHO YOU ARE!" What a biased ref. AA WINS. BOO! This told a fine story of him not turning against himself, but it was told really poorly. The IDEA behind this makes sense with what Cole's saying, but the actual actions in the match...eh not really. Piper-Bret had more of that "fighting his demons" bit in it than this, and it was done way better.

JBL's burying King for being terrible, and now it's an HOF recap. Lots of rewinding during this. Now it's freezing and the bitrate's terrible. Warrior's all intro...and didn't do his, which is both understandable and a bit disappointing. Taker-Brock is up, and they've got a revamped video package full of Heyman being great in it. JBL put over Brock being WWE Champion, IWGP Champion, UFC Champ, and one who at UFC 100 unified the titles. Taker's intro was a swank clip show of wins complete with caskets. Taker's got on one badass coat. He's ready to whoop some ass. Taker looked at Brock's casket and it opened AND IT WAS THEN SET ON FIRE! The coat's got black with RED TRIM. Looks amazing. Basic punch/kick stuff to start. Brock just throwing punches like they're nothing hurts his UFC gimmick. Punch exchange on the floor. Chokeslam countered into the F5, which was turned into a turnbuckle shove shoulder-first. They're setting that up as Brock's weakness nicely. "HE'S A LEVIATHAN IS LESNAR!" Nope, that's Batista. Brock better start yelling soon so there will be some noise. Crowd's just dead. He stomped. And stomped. And stomped. And stomped. And stomped. He punched. And punched. And punched. THANK GOD A RUNNING DDT! Chokeslam gets 2. F5 gets 2. Brock walked right into Hell's Gate like it's 2K14. Rampage powerbomb, as seen on Raw in a mid-card match, hit. JBL talked in hushed tones. A shittier second one got locked on. Second Rampage powerbomb. JBL hyped up TWO SUBMISSIONS being done - one done twice. Kimura's on. Taker countered the Kimura with the Kimura, and Brock took him down making it worse. Taker stood up gasping in the corner looking 1,000. OLD SCHOOL INTO THE F5! TWO! Excellent! German suplex from Brock! Yet another one! Brock clubs him in the corner. Cornermount punches, so it's Last Ride time. Tombstone gets 2! A THIRD F5 HITS! THE STREAK...IS OVER! And nothing is happening beyond Heyman saying words. Nothing about this build, the match, or this result works for me right now. A giant Under-taker and thank-you Taker chant broke out. This really feels like the end for Taker. I'm all for a one year build to him in the Hall of Fame. "The gunslinger's leaving town." is JBL's greatest call ever.

Divas got jobber intros except for AJ. Tamina was taken out quickly. Nattie went for a triple sharpshooter, before Eva schoolgirled her for 2. Emma danced and hit the sandwich. Tamina and Eva argued. I thought she was gone earlier. Whatever. Bellas did a double suicide dive to the chicks. One guy chanted holy shit. Bellas fought. It's a one fall match, oh yeah. Superfly dive was stopped badly by Naomi. Tower of diva doom spot gets 2. Black Widow gets the win! GO AJ! I guess AJ beats her tomorrow with Vickie putting her career on the line for a shot or something. Hogan and Gene did a silly skit with Roddy Piper and Paul Orndorff with a giant mustache. Facially, Paul looks great, but cancer destroyed his throat. They did a wacky WM 1 tag match skit. They shook hands, and showed legends at ringside. Backlund was wacky. Orton got a live intro. Eh, Orton's WM 26 intro was cooler. Dave's out. Neon green? Is Batista in DX now? Extreme Rules was hyped as a WWE special and not a PPV...wow is that weird. Bryan-HHH recap. I'll definitely be watching that again later. It's 10:26, so the main event's getting less than 20 minutes. It's kind of odd that this isn't an elimination match, but the tag title match was. Bryan started with a rana to Batista that was sold terribly. Boring chants landed within two minutes. Oh God, Batista's got GREEN SHOES ON too. Batista bomb on the floor was countered into a backdrop on the steps. Batista shouldn't be doing that. Bryan got into things with a missile dropkick to both guys, then the kicks to each. Superplex to Batista led to the headbutt, Yes lock, AND HHH RETURNING AS STAFF! Bastista got a spinebuster. SCOTT ARMSTRONG RETURNED! Batista bomb! 2! He took Scott out, then dove on everyone! IT'S HAMMER TIME! HAMMER TO HHH! I just noticed that Orton's gear is black, with white and gold trim. Looks good. Mini-Evolution reunion to take Bryan out. All the refs took HHH and Steph out. Steps to the shoulder of Bryan. They did wacky stuff to make a little setup to attack Bryan. A CM Punk chant broke out as they teased a Batista bomb through the tables and did that with a neckbreaker. Orton and Bryan took tough bumps, with Orton's back hitting the monitor hard. They're teasing taking Bryan out and having Orton and Batista brawl. Bryan got off the board! YES LOCK TO ORTON! Batista saves! Batista's in it and Orton saves! Spear to Bryan takes him to the floor! RKO to Batista gets 2! Batista is working hard tonight. Punt was countered by the KNEE+. Batista got 2! This has had some amazing nearfalls! KNEE TO BATISTA AND THE YES LOCK! A MIRACLE ON BOURBON STREET! Bryan went from being fired four years ago to being WWE World Champ at WM 30! A couple of blondes came in the ring to celebrate. They're apparently his sister and niece. Aww. This ruled!

Screens -






http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/pnyvc181cq8a2kuam6m1u6bywt9b1vur/

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