Wednesday, August 27, 2014

TNA Impact Wrestling 8-27-14

The pre-show Cops has a guy running from the cops, getting his pants caught in a fence, which helps the cops catch him. They wind up slicing his pants off with a big-ass knife, which was kinda cool. Another guy gets a traffic stop and his buddy winds up getting caught with drugs. The final story is a bar fight - the guy gets banned from the bar for life and has a fucked up eye after asking two girls to sleep with him and getting chucked on the table. Shockingly, the cops let him go if he just promises to never come back. Wow.

An awesome hype video for the world tag title series starts the show - I guess they can have 3D lose via forfeit and then end the series with the Hardys and Wolves once Davey heals up. Tenay says that we'll get more on the six sides of steel controversy - Tenay says EY won, while Taz says Roode did. Angle cuts another promo from the stands, which I really like - it's very different. He makes EC3-Rhino and the Hardys-3D-Wolves Match 1. A fan in an ROH shirt is right next to Kurt - it's a real shame he never worked there in '07. Angle says he'll hash things out with EY and Roode later to name a contender soon. MVP's out in a glorious Sonny Crockett outfit. Lashley's got an American Top Team TUF-style shirt on. MVP mocks Kurt and says NEW YAWK SHITTY, which gets muted. MVP calls the crowd a bunch of pussies who would get flatter than Miley's ass. MVP is so great in this role, and he's perfect as Lashley's mouthpiece. Tommy Dreamer, the Innovator of IHOP came down. He put MVP over as underrated, being from Queens, and then said Lashley finally lived up to his potential. MVP talked more shit and holy hell, HE'S WEARING WHITE AND PINK POLKA DOTS ON HIS PANTS! Angle made Lashley-Dreamer tonight in a street fight. And by tonight, it's now. Dreamer looks much fatter here - he must just be in his shirt and not have his compression shirt underneath. Lashley stomps and they go to a break.

They came back and they had weapons, so yet another weapon-filled opener on the show. And this one involves the world champ to boot. Lashley hits a nasty overhead belly to belly on the ramp - this just looked awkward and painful for both guys. Lashley crotched him on the barricade in front of a guy with a giant wacky mohawk. Tenay put over the Bellator season opener with Lashley, which I think will bode really well for TNA if Lashley wins. It gives TNA a big chip to bargain with since their champion would be far more visible on Spike than any other network they're going to get a deal with. Dreamer escapes a bearhug by biting, but eats a big suplex. In a hilarious moment, Taz says that Dreamer, in jogging pants and a T-shirt, isn't in his gear. Dreamer avoids an apron spear that hits King, but eats one mid-ring and loses. Lashley held his title up high while a fan in a Manik mask held up a couple of replica belts. Madison talks about Taryn's story and their match tonight, but it's time for her to prove she's the queen of the division - good stuff.

A Wounded Warrior Project video aired. This was really good - hopefully this is something that came about due to Chris Melendez coming aboard because I haven't seen this before on Spike. HAVOK arrives next week. Gunner and Shaw met in Gunner's room to discuss Shaw's art and Gunner getting ready for the Wounded Warrior Project thing tonight. Shaw is "drawing the skyline" in broad daylight, and they found a great way to shoot this without showing anything. Gunner left and Shaw went over to Gunner's uniform. So maybe his dad will be named Gunner now. Taryn and Madison got jobber intros. Tenay put over the KOs calendar going on sale on 9/10, while Taz basically implies that they're just going to be used as jizz magnets. Well, he's not wrong. Taz occasionally called moves in this. This is a pretty good little match with Madison working as a subtle heel. Flying Hart attack from Taryn leads to a basic one, then another and a Moore-style neckbreaker. Flying crossbody gets a great 2.9 count. She sold that perfectly. Madison scoops the legs, but uses the ropes and gets caught. Taryn gets up, avoids a kick, and hits a cutter for the win! This was really good and fun to watch.

Roode went to Kurt's office and saw EY, looking homeless. Kurt told them to sit down and asked the camera guy to leave. The usual really good BFG hype vid aired. Gunner was incredibly weirded-out by Shaw wearing his uniform. A 6-man X division tag with Manik, Homicide, and DJZ facing Steve, Uno, and Low-Ki. What a tremendous waste of talent here. Guys did stuff for a while. Nothing of note until Low-Ki hit a cool spring-up kangaroo kick out of the corner. LOW-KI COUNTERED THE DOUBLE-KNEE GUTBUSTER WITH A FOOT STOMP! Holy shit that ruled! Steve is in, and actively drags down every single match he's in. Manik does his fakeout and Uno does a flip dive to the floor, which I guess he was planning to do anyway. Big kick and a Ki Crusher wins. This filled time and wasn't completely without merit thanks to Low-Ki.

The EC3-Rhino brawl from last week is covered. I'm kind of surprised they aren't covering why Rhino's back since he was brought in by Dixie - normally, they explain a minor plot hole like that. Rhino cut a brick-backdropped promo on EC3. Roode and EY are out next to talk about the cage match. I sure hope Bobby's grown his hair out since this taping. Bobby says that we'll get another no. 1 contender's match, between EY and Roode, next week. Bobby calls out "his best friend", who still looks homeless. Roode is trying, but I just can't buy this as a serious match - EY looks horrible, and Roode's haircut really hurts his presentation. EY brought up their match being fate - well, it should be better than just having it be decided in that cage match. EY says Bobby's the best in the world - well, he is the best overall worker in TNA. It's a shame that he wouldn't be a sure-fire WWE hire - he'd be so great in the Authority as HHH's dragon. After putting Roode over as the best, EY says he'll be better next week. Roode says they'll tear the roof off this son of a bitch - this turned around by the end. The Bro Mans played the Tinder Games on their phones. They're going to go on dates with the Knockouts. This lasted a shockingly long amount of time, but should be a fine setup to the in-air Robbie and Brooke angle. TAZ SANG EC3'S THEME, and the Rhino match is next. They showed Christy from the side during the intros and she definitely looked pregnant - I'm surprised word didn't get out sooner.

While EC3 and Rhino just did stuff, Taz and Tenay buried Dixie and TNA, which made it on the air just fine. EC3 DID THE STING SHOUT AND GOT A STINGER SPLASH FOR 2! I love him at least trying to play off of taking guys out of TNA in some way. EC3 locked on a hold, resulting in Taz losing his train of thought again. Rhino gets a death valley driver to set up a gore, but Spud saves and Tenay calls him the Good Humor man, resulting in Taz saying he's dressed like an ice cream sandwich! EC3 gets 2 off a low blow. Rhino gets the belly to belly and Spud gets involved again. EC3 used a chair on Rhino, which got a DQ. This shocked me since I was sure it was No DQ. EC3 almost snapped and hit Spud.  Spud was scared shitless on the ramp and gave him nervous thumbs ups - that ruled! THE GREAT SANADA is revealed next.

They hyped up the debut of Chris Melendez tonight - at 10:20. Storm THE LEGEND came out to bring out The Great Sanada - it's Sanada, but with a modern-day Muta-style hoodie jacket, reddish hair, and gold and black paint. Well, the paint should match the gear, but otherwise, I dig this. The tassels, not so much though - too DJZ-ish. Aries gets the chancery, but it's broken up quickly. NICE Steamboat-esque chop from Sanada. He's got slower movements and is far more heelish with chokes and such, so he's far better at playing a Muta expy than Cody is at playing a Goldust one. Aries does a nice corner to corner buckle spot on the apron with 10 bonks! Draping neckbreaker sets up the suicide dive. This just in - Aries is a darn fine pro wrestler. Aries and Sanada also have excellent chemistry. ROLLING ELBOW FROM ARIES! Corner dropkick! SANADA BITES HIS WAY OUT OF THE BRAINBUSTER! Sanada drops him on the buckle and goes up top, but gets his ears clapped, while Storm crotches him to set up the mist and kneeling superkick for the win.

A video showing Melendez's story aired. 23 days before the end of his run, he was hit with an IED - he kept everything together and is a darn fine worker as far as doing some moves with one leg. Unlike Gowen, he's got some real credibility. Anderson, Team 3D, and Angle hugged him while fans held little American flags. Angle puts over Chris going to war as being bigger than anything he's ever done. Anderson as former military said that his favorite charity is the Wounded Warrior Project. Anderson says he got some video and photos of Chris and was blown away. Ken said he couldn't train him, but he knew two guys who did - Team 3D. Anderson put them over as THE BEST TRAINERS IN THE WORLD. In a world with Lance Storm's school in it. Bully told the crowd Chris's story, which was important since they didn't see the video. Bully said that if he showed up in Florida, they'd train him for free - since he was willing to lose his life for the country, it was the least they could do for him. I've got a tear in my eye over this whole Chris Melendez presentation - this is one of the best things they've ever done. So much so that the crowd is even crying over it.

This was a perfect segment, and a great way to get to the main event since 3D's already in the ring. Hardys came out next, with Jeff in a black and shiny, greyish black top with white, grey, and black paint to match Matt's gear. Wolves are out next and the match itself is on after the break. It starts off with a double sledge to Bully. Bully chops Davey down. Eddie stops Wassup with a shining kick to the top, while Davey counters the goofy position with a victory roll for 2. Davey counters a second poetry in motion with a flying lariat. Taz puts over AMW and Beer Money as the best modern-era tag team company - this was nice to hear after months of nostalgia that didn't focus on TNA stuff. Devon and Matt tried a double clothesline on opposite sides, but Eddie yelled, and he ducked - I like that. A logical way out of a goofy-looking spot. Wolves counter a Hardys irish whip with a double dive to 3D. Over the top poetry in motion to the pile, while Matt does a moonsault off the top to the floor and lands wisely on his back to avoid killing his knees. Enzuiguri>German>jackknife gets 2 until Jeff saves Matt. Devon eats a double foot stomp to the back from Eddie, and then to the gut from Davey for 2. Davey counters Matt's Twist into a Sin Cara kick and he misses a double foot stomp leading to a Twist. Jeff swantons Davey, but Eddie gets a schoolboy for 2 on Devon. 3D to Eddie wins! This was damn good and a perfect capper to a fantastic second hour of Impact.

Screens -

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