Monday, August 18, 2014

WWE Raw 8-18-14

The opening grindhouse video is fantastic - and basically takes the PPV intro and put PPV clips on it. Bryan's theme hit setting up Steph with her STEPH STEPH STEPH shirt. She announced that tonight we'd see the new belt. She said Cena would need time to heal. That match definitely shaved a lot of time off of Cena's career - Austin was never the same after his Benoit match with the 20 billion Germans. There's a new logo on the mic and new white WWE bug on the lower-right. This white logo graphic looks so much better than the red and white one. She brought out Nikki. Nikki started her promo with a bad mic, which added to the comedy. God, they're trying to recreate the Owen-Bret dynamic here but NONE OF THE BELLAS ARE ANY GOOD. And if the angle is that Nikki is jealous over Brie "beating her to the alter", then the whole Total Divas reveal of HER BEING MARRIED A DECADE AGO means what exactly? Brie came out and the mic refused to work. Thank God this mic hates this promo work. Nikki slapped her, probably for the homemade BRIE MODE dress, and Brie cried. This was ungodly bad. Raw has new graphics as well, and there's a new theme playing too.

Wyatt B team came out to their theme - it's growing on me. Show and Henry, in a new white and black singlet, came out. THE GERMAN ANNOUNCERS were shown - 2 of them anyway. Show hit the corner chop to Harper. Go BIG PAIN! Heels get chucked to the floor for a break. They come back and Harper slugs it out with Show and DROPKICKS HIM TO THE FLOOR! USA just went black - did Show have a nip slip? Rowan takes Show down with a clothesline and then SLAMS HIM! Show counters a second attempt WITH A DDT! This is Show's best match since the Sheamus series - these guys are really delivering the goods. Great nearfall off the WSS with Harper kicking Rowan onto him for a 2.9! Show Koed Harper, then hit it onto Rowan into the Slam for the win! WOW - no 50/50 booking, and an awesome match to boot! Show Pain 4 Tag Champs! RYBAXEL TEAMS WITH ORTON, WHY!? Lumberjack match recap is next.

A new Did You Know graphic informed everyone that Summerslam was the most socially-active show on TV. Flair talked with Dolph, who has a new-logo IC title with very shiny gold. Dolph called Miz an a-hole, getting a chain of woos. Seth cut a promo but Dean DUMPED ICE WATER ON HIM and said it was for charity. Oh that was so great. They came back, replayed it, and Seth was all pissy with Kane and HHH. HHH made a rematch - giving us the second one from Summerslam, and HHH said THE FANS can make the match!

Nattie has new heart boob-window gear, with tiny shorts too. Paige's hot red gear rules. They exchanged matwork for a bit before Paige lustfully straddled Nattie resulting in a huge pop. AJ skipped around ringside and led to a distraction schoolgirl finish. Seriously. Nattie, WHO JUST BEAT THE CHAMPION, just left. AJ dedicated HER LIFE to Paige! Seth-Dean choices are No Holds Barred, Falls Count Anywhere, or No Disqualification! It's like getting a burger for a $1, 100 pennies, or 10 dimes.Title unveiling is next.

HHH and Steph are out with the belt covered up in velvet. The new belt lacks CHAMPION as shown in the pic, but the bright red bar looks odd. It's a more symmetrical design though. Brock and Heyman came out to do a big cornball photo op gimmick. Brock is so funny when he wants to be. Heyman said that Cena's not here - but would be if Brock hadn't mangled him. Brock's just so goshdarned happy at the thought of mangling human beings. Heyman's promo on Cena was just amazing. He babyfaced Cena to everyone who hates his guts and basically told you you're a fool to not like him because he's a tough motherfucker. Heyman says it's not about street cred - because IF YOU FACE BROCK, YOU DIE! He killed the streak, he killed Taker's career (so he's officially retired now), and Cena's out too. OH MY FUCKING GOD, they dared follow an all-time great promo from Heyman with the Bella drama.

Dolph's out for the rematch with Miz. This belt looks so fantastic slightly revamped. Miz and his amazing outfit came out. Some idiot held up a LANA WAS BORN IN AMERICA sign. They do some basic stuff before Dolph "tweaks the knee" and Miz dropkicks. Dolph gets 2 off an O'Connor roll before the break. They come back for a 2 off the big DDT. Miz got the figure four and JBL name-dropped Flair. Dolph's knee goes out on the floor and he can't get in before 10. Miz attacked, but ate a Zig Zag - so this feud MUST continue. Renee met with Jack and showed him losing. Jack says when times are tough, PEOPLE HELP AND HE'LL PICK HIMSELF UP CUZ THAT'S WE THE PEOPLE!

Swagger's out to face Cesaro, who actually gets an entrance. They had a nothing match beyond an ankle lock in the ropes and an eye poke leading to the Neutralizer for the win. CESARO WINS! CESARO WINS! And Cole IMMEDIATELY makes excuses for Swagger! Bo came out to inspire Jack by telling him how many hundreds of millions he disappointed at Summerslam. And now he lost again! So we get Swagger-Bo on Main Event or SD. Swagger's new singlet is really awesome - mainly because it's easy to make in FPR. Jericho and his goofy goatee talked to Renee. Random 6 man tag is next.

Heels are out first followed by the faces. Orton was sent outside by Sheamus and rested for a break. They came back and Sheamus ate a back suplex on the barricade, with a rough landing on the floor. Big chant for the BIG GUY. FEED ME MORE! RYBACK RULES! They're in Vegas, so it makes sense, and you know what? PUSH HIM TONIGHT! THE BIG GUY CAME IN FOR A BIG SUPLEX! Orton as Ryback's cheerleader on the apron is so fantastic. Orton comes in for the DDT, but it gets countered into White Noise. Axel and Roman are uneven! Diving lariat to Axel! Corner lariat, throat thrust, set up the basement dropkick, but Orton hit the 3.0 before he could do the spear or Superman punch. RVD tagged in for a crossbody for 2. Brogue to Ryback set up an RKO to Sheamus and a spear to Orton from Reigns. RVD kicks Axel, hits the splash, and wins! Well, the guy I expected to lose did, and the guy who I thought would win didn't - good for RVD getting some wins again!

Orton met with Flair, and was warned to not mess with him or he'd find out WHY HE WAS CALLED THE LEGEND KILLER! Bray said stuff and THE USOS CAME OUT WITH SHINY BELTS. THIS JUST IN, POWERSAUCE IS AMAZING! And SD is #1 on Fridays, Maggle! Despite the TAG CHAMPS BEING IN THE RING, we get a Bella recap. Dust Bros face the Usos here. Usos were fantastic in there moving so quickly with Goldust, while Stardust did his best to keep up. JBL and Cole were in rare form tonight - it was like JBL's original commentary run just badgering at each other. Stardust won with a sunset flip. This was a good match technically, but greatly harmed by the commentary. According to JBL, THE DUST BRUSTERS won.

RVD faces Orton on SD, so RVD's new streak ends. Rusev came out and nodded to the Rusev photo. HENRY CAME OUT TO CHALLENGE HIM! WORLD'S STRONGEST 'MERICAN! He cut a fantastic promo and made himself a big deal in just a few minutes.  HENRY GOT THE SLAM AND DID A JIG! THEN HE SPLASHED HIM! THIS IS GOING TO RULE! I'm so doing this match in 2K14 later. They hyped up the Shield's road to Summerslam doc on the Network. YAY, AMBROSE GETS A MINI-DOC! Cena returns next week. Main event time!

Dean's hoodie is excellent. They brawled outside quickly and Seth kicked him to set up a buckle bomb on the set, but Dean countered into a snap suplex. Dean got weapons! Chair-assisted scoop slam from Dean! Ambrose hit a diving elbow drop/chairshot for 2. Dean uses the chair to prop it in the corner, but Seth counters and Dean's head smacks it for 2. Dean ate a nasty cane shot to the gut during the break. They did a quick exchange where Seth hit a front kick to the face to counter a cane shot, followed by a superkick and an enzuiguri for 2. The front kick led to a fantastic facial expression from Dean as he fell to the mat. They countered finishers and met in the middle for a crossbody spot. THEY'RE BRAWLING ON THEIR KNEES NOW! I love this match! Dean slingshots Seth into the buckle despite eating cane shots! I love Dean making chairs his thing and chucking a billion into the ring for these matches. They teased a superplex onto them, but delivered a SUNSET RUNNING LIGERBOMB FOR 2! Mr. Kane and what's left of his hair came down. Seth got a table. GOD FUCKING DAMMIT JBL STOP CALLING THESE VILE WEAPONS TOYS! These guys were given the main event ball here and they're running with it. The crowd is crazy-hot for this. SUPERPLEX THROUGH THE TABLE FROM DEAN! Dean took out Kane and Seth! REBOUND LARIAT! DIRTY DEEDS, but KANE COMES IN! Seth escaped him by using the tables again to run and attack Seth! Dean went for Dirty Deeds on the announce table, but Kane grabbed him and chokeslammed him on it! Curb stomp on the table! Kane unleashed a BLOCK OF CINDER BLOCKS, which is a bit silly, but it led to a curb stomp through them and an awesome-looking deal and a KO finish. Dean should've brought his Monster Cinder Block Repellent. Seth won battles - can't wait to see Dean return to win the war.

Screens -

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