Friday, August 8, 2014

WWE SD 8-8-14

I decided to watch Cops before SD, which means so little that it's not even on XWT beforehand. A guy has a crack pipe found in some cig packs in both the console and the driver's side seat, but it's not his - and his twins have a birthday in either a couple days OR weeks. SD's generic intro opens with Ambrose. No pyro. Ambrose gets a nice pop here, and it amazes me how seamlessly he's transitioned out of the Shield and as a face no less. They showed clips of the Ambrose deal on Raw. I hadn't noticed the soda flying onto Cole - ha! "The Authority thought they had a perfect Plan B, BUT YOU CAN'T PLAN FOR DEAN AMBROSE!" Love him rattling off wacky stips, including JBL's hat on a pole, ALLIGATORS AROUND THE RING, good housekeeping match, and loser washes HHH's car - but there's no point to that since Seth already does that. It's too much for Seth, who comes out to respond. Seth says that it doesn't matter, and he'll beat him in any stip for Summerslam on the WWE Network - FOR ONLY $9.99. Ambrose oddly uses their last advertised match not happening as a selling point, and Dean makes it a lumberjack match so Seth can't run and since they pissed off the whole roster as the Shield, there won't be any bias. Dean said you could call it a lumberjack match if you're old school, or THE HUMAN CAGE MATCH and August 17 is the day Mr. Money in the Bank goes broke! Seth has GM powers for Dean's match tonight, and makes Ambrose-Orton by showing Orton destroying Roman. Henry and Show team up tonight against Rybaxel - should be fun.

They ran two ads for the Hogan birthday stuff during this one break. Rybaxel got a jobber intro while Henry and Show FIST-BUMPED! Henry clubbed Axel poorly - he really doesn't seem to have much left in the tank. Show won with a chokeslam. Dolph laughed at Seth's misfortune with a cute brunette with a giant rack. And Eva, and the rosebuds. Dolph mocked Seth's gear by comparing him to Catwoman, so Seth said HHH would have no problem naming his own opponent either and made Seth-Dolph. A Brock-Cena EXCLUSIVE is coming later.The Cena hard-selling WWE Network is so desperate, and having JBL pimp $9.99 and Cole talk about how much he loves the VOD content. JBL changed the hashtag for Sin Cara's match to #999. Sandow's out as a border patrol agent. There is no way this can top RJ Brewer being unable to see a wide variety of brightly-attired luchadores cross the border. Sin Cara's in half blue/gold/red and half white/gold/red. JBL ponders the usage of the rubber gloves, which Cole says are to deal with the illegals. A giant Mexico chant breaks out, and Sandow's got his own blue shirt underneath the getup. Cole brought up the awesome JBL border patrol skit! Sin Cara hit the modified Angle slam>swanton for the win.

The EXCLUSIVE video was the same thing they showed on Raw and Main Event. Dolph-Seth is the hour one main event. JBL was astonished that Seth lost to Slater despite CALLING THE MATCH ON MONDAY, which Cole busted his chops for. THREE AMIGOS IN TEXAS got no reaction. Dolph took a crazy ass over teakettle bump over the top when Seth shoved him off the fameasser. They exchange blows after a break and Seth rubs Dolph's face into the mat. Dolph swung back with some big punches to take Seth down. Machine gun corner mount punches from Dolph lead to a neckbreaker for 2. JBL says they should make a stip where Miz can't be hit in the face. Cole says it's stupid - how dare he insult the fantastic HBK-Martel stip from Summerslam '92 - AVAILABLE ON THE WWE NETWORK FOR ONLY $9.99! Dolph gets 2 off a flash cradle and they do a shitty Frye-Takayama exchange. Dolph's flying DDT gets 2. Dolph rolls out of the way to avoid the flying knee and hits the fameasser for 2.9! Seth kicked his knee, then chucked Dolph shoulder-first into the post leading to a bump on the floor. After some stair throws, Dolph crawls in and eats a curb stomp. Finish didn't do much for me, but I dug the match a lot - that was Dolph's best one since his push died a year ago. Renee talked to Orton, who said nothing of note beyond being The Most Sadistic Superstar in the WWE. Sting 2K15 ad aired.

Paige's little whoopsie face when they aired the beating clips ruled. Nattie and Paige shove each other and Nattie hits the spinning lariat and gets the sharpshooter. Paige Turner on the floor looked awful. JBL thought Paige would do a sharpshooter, instead SHE DID HER FINISHER and won. Rusev and Lana walked backstage. Big E's out in a blue and red singlet to get killed by Rusev...isn't E part of a new, and in theory, pushed heel faction? Why is he seemingly a face? JBL called Swagger a former WWE Champion - surprised that wasn't changed with some ADR work. Big E got his bodyblock and belly to belly, but largely missed the Ultimate Splash before the big kick sets up the Accolade. Jericho-Harper recap from Raw. Jericho looked his age in this backstage interview, and his neck's looking older than that, and he's got four piercing holes in his right ear too. Steph-Brie recap is next.

BUT FIRST, Bryan's "WE COULDN'T BE WWE WITHOUT THE FANS!" video aired. Brie-Steph's thing was just as bad here as it was on Main Event. Dean came out for the main event. They pimped a WWE Network replay of the NBC WM special after SD. Brock and Cena were announced for Raw. A fan held up an I Miss the Nitro Girls sign behind Dean. Orton starts off with arm work - I like it! Ambrose scoops the legs and attacks. PLANCHA! Dean fights back with some Terry Funk jabs after a break. Dean gets a crossbody and unloads some punches. I love his corner forearm scrapes - hopefully they're in 2K15. Orton chucks his arm into the steps to get the edge again.Nice press-ish slam from Orton onto the ring apron arm-first. Dean counters the draping DDT with a backdrop before hitting AIR LUNATIC! Rebound lariat hits! AMBROSE HITS DIRTY DEEDS AND WOULD HAVE WON, but Seth pulled him out. Wow. Shocked, pleasantly so, that Dean didn't job here. JBL screaming THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU MESS WITH A MAN'S BRIEFCASE reminds me of the Big Lebowski dubbing. Thank God Dean didn't try anything with a stranger in the alps. He ate an RKO and fans held up signs for Roman Reigns. Seth poured a fan's soda on him and hit the curb stomp to close the show. Good main events for the first and second hour - rest was just stuff.

Screens -

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