Friday, August 29, 2014

WWE SmackDown 8-29-14

SD opens with an Ambrose memorial video - showing his wacky funeral image without any bugs on it - so it was at least amusing. They edited the speech from Seth into seeming like a fairly epic main event-level promo. Roman-Seth was set up perfectly for NoC with this and made each guy seem like top-level acts. Tom Phillips introduced the show in the most boring manner humanly possible - it was with all the excitement of a number coming up for a dinner party. A fan looked absolutely gobsmacked at the sight of Roman. Bray comes out to face Roman. WHY IS THIS BIG-NAME MATCH HAPPENING FOR NO REASON!? Roman is selling entirely too much here. Roman comes back with a hair pull whip down and a flying lariat. Bray elbows out of a Samoan drop. Bray's bodyblock further ends Roman's momentum. Roman gets the Samoan drop for 2. Cole says Rowan looks concerned, which JBL points out is bullshit since he's wearing a sheep mask. Cole laughs and then a DQ happens due to the Family attacking. Show and Henry come out. I SENSE A 6-MAN! Team black and blue gear stands tall! Brock-Cena stuff from Raw gets recapped later. Swagger and Rusev face off in a submission match, which really should've been hyped on either Raw or Main Event. RVD-Seth is next, in a rematch that was explained, but not hyped up much.

HOLLA HOLLA 6 MAN TAG is later. Guys came out and did nothing for a couple of minutes until a break.They came back and Seth takes control with elbows to the neck. Rolling Thunder misses after a kick to the nose. Seth gets 2 off an enzuiguri, but eats a kick when he goes up top. RVD goes for a SUPERPLEX!, but Seth rakes the eyes and gets a corner to corner buckle bomb! Seth does it again since I guess RVD didn't get in position right the first time - this was a good, dominant win for Seth. Seth did the RVD thumbs and wow is he ever ripped. King-Bellas recap. Fuck this.

YAY EMMA! Emma marched and Paige pie-faced her, so Emma cradled her for 2. Emma hit some kind of wonky kick by accident or something getting face-planted. PTO's on and it's over. Well, that was worth either a long drive or airport bullshit for the crew. AJ has a box of chocolate - aww, she got them for Valentine's day! JBL said he loved chocolate, and Cole said he could tell. Paige was not amused by the chocolate, so AJ guilted her and then yelled at her to eat one! Paige chewed it and then spit it out at AJ, who finished it. That's a bit less nasty than it sounded in the spoilers - I thought it was spit on the mat. Tom Phillips quoted Forrest Gump, leading to Cole saying Tom looks just like him! They did a horrible $9.99 plug and did more Forrest Gump quotes - so I guess you're functionally retarded if you don't buy the network.

Brock murdering Cena was recapped. Well, maybe murder's too strong - Joe killed Steiner and Steiner at least had a Band-Aid on for TV. Cena's not only just fine, but he's actually better after being killed. Lana and Rusev, limping, are in the ring. Lana basically says that Russian men are athletic and can fuck all night long. Cole pointed out Jack's run in this feud so far - he passed out at Battleground, lost via stoppage at Summerslam, and lost on Raw. JBL points out that Swagger's spent half the feud out cold. They did nothing until an ad break, and came back with Rusev locking on a bearhug. Rusev hit a nice Vader-ish body attack while Swagger was in a 619 position on the ropes - that was unique. Rusev gets some body shots, but goes for a kick and eats an ankle lock. RUSEV GETS THE ANKLE LOCK, but it gets countered into it from Swagger. Rusev gets a superkick and stomps the spine for the Accolade. Swagger gets an arm free for a hope spot, but Rusev prevents it, so Swagger gets THE OTHER ARM FREE, and then he finally gets the rope! Rusev takes the 4 count to do more damage. I loved that! More spine stomps and another Accolade, but Swagger's escaping before a white towel is thrown in and Bo is revealed by tripping Jack and allowing another Accolade to secure a win. This was probably their best match yet - Swagger and Rusev have really good chemistry together. Rusev's selling on the ankle was fantastic throughout - he's really improved a ton. They replayed Bo's towel through, which they never confirmed on commentary despite THREE PEOPLE BEING THERE. Bo got his finish and needs a new one, as it's bodogshit. Miz had a wacky skit with Kane and being upset with autograph hounds, and he faces Sheamus next.

Or not. Jimmy Uso faced Stardust.Jey's knee is all wrapped up, which at least gives a shred of credibility to the deal from Raw. I liked the fire Jimmy had here. They had a nothing match, Stardust lost, and the faces got their asses kicked. This accomplished very little. Miz-Sheamus is next. Miz with Sandow are mid-ring. Great, another stunt double match. Sheamus-Cesaro was announced for NoC - I love the title belt outline graphic being used. Miz has a black version of his wacky white cloak/jacket thing. JBL put over that Gene LeBelle was a stunt double, and he stretched people! Okay, that was great. Sheamus clubbers Sandow. Kick wins and then Miz attacks and runs like a pussy. I love it! Dolph throws Miz back in and Mizdow eats a kick. This was amusing, entirely due to Miz being so silly. Cena-Brock stuff is next.

The Summerslam/Raw recap from Main Event re-aired here to kill time - lots of it. This lasted at least a few minutes, and was great. Hall of Fame Forum recap sucked, and couldn't even be saved with editing. Show and Henry came down to set up Roman as THE guy here giving him the last intro. Z Nation looks TERRIBLE. Wyatts teleported into the ring after the break. BIG SHOW DID A SUNSET FLIP ON ROWAN AND GOT 2! Show is amazing considering his size, age, and injuries - although he has held up really well over this past 6 year run. Crowd got hot for this after the big chop to Harper, leading to A DROPKICK! Show is doing everything Roman should be doing - going above and beyond. Henry did the JYD headbutt to Harper. THIS MATCH RULES! I wasn't too hyped about it going in, but I'm loving everything about it now. Rowan goes to lift Henry up for a suplex, and lifts his singlet up way too high, only to get reversed. SHOW GETS THE HOT TAG and he runs wild on Rowan. Rowan takes him down with a lariat - leading to JBL referencing Stan Hansen's birthday. Bray comes in and DDTs Show. Rowan does the kneeling head twist thing. Harper comes in and dominates. Show does the Vader-Cactus back dropping thing out of a chinlock. Running lariat counter's Bray's corner bodyblock! Roman comes in and runs wild. Sliding kick takes out Harper. Superman punch gets 2 thanks to a save. Show chokeslammed Rowan. Bray takes Show out. Henry slams Bray. Harper lariats him and boots Roman for 2. Harper's reaction was like NOO...okay...then, GROOVY MORE BEATING TIME! Very GIF-worthy deal there. Spinning lariat gets countered into a spear! THIS RULED and was Roman's best match since the end of the Shield.

Screens -

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