Friday, August 1, 2014

WWE SD 8-1-14

THE ALMIGHTY JOHNSONS is after SD! I cannot believe Vince hasn't wanted some cross-promotion with that show. Swagger and Zeb are out to start the show, and he gets a solid reaction. Swagger looks like a robot carrying the American flag. Cesaro's theme now has an ambulance siren in place of the warning siren, so it's gone from bad to worse. I cannot even believe how they've destroyed Cesaro since WM. JBL says that Zeb feels Cesaro's illegal now, which Cole points out isn't what he said before when he was with him. Now that they're not a team, Cesaro and Swagger have matching gear. OF COURSE! I love Swagger doing two belly to back takedowns in a row, followed by Cesaro doing the Cesaro lift for 2. Mounted punches from Cesaro. Stiff slaps to Swagger on the ropes set up a nice back elbow from Swagger. Cesaro chucks him over the top to the floor for an ad break.

Cesaro gets the Very European uppertcut after the break. Swagger catches him in the amateur-style powerslam as an off the top counter for 2. Swagger bomb hits for 2.5. TIGER BOMB FROM CESARO gets 2.5! Running boot to the face from Cesaro looked good. He goes for again, but Swagger grabs the ankle lock for the win. I don't like Cesaro losing AGAIN, and to an act he should be above in theory, but at least it was a nice, logical finish. Lana and Rusev came out to declare Russian's flag as the REAL red, white, and blue. Lana as a heel, challenged the faces to a flag match at Summerslam. Zeb, standing for beer, hot babes, and America accepted. SWAGGER'S GONNA DEFEND THE 50 STARS AND 13 BARS OF OLD GLORY! I loved the bit at the end with the guys waving the flags, and Swagger plants the flag in the ring. This was 15 minutes of really good stuff. Jericho-Rowan is later with Rowan banned if Jericho wins, and Orton walked pasted a pink equipment crate to go to the ring and talk about the Roman attack.

BATB '96 plug for the Network re-aired. Orton talked about leaving a VERY CLEAR and DISTINCT message for Roman on Raw. He officially challenged Roman to a match at Summerslam. HE'LL MAKE HIM COIL UP INTO A TIGHT LITTLE BALL JUST LIKE HE DID ON RAW, and you can believe in that! Good-ish stuff. Steph-Bella recap. Truth ending Bo's streak is recapped. JBL said that Truth was the 1 in 17-1. Taker's streak becoming pure comedy as either a meme or this is sad. Cole asked why Bo was soaked, and JBL said maybe he was looking for Sandow's case - a year ago. Could've been looking for his career now too. Truth misses a Stinger splash and eats some elbows. Fans go BO-LIEVE. A backslide only got 2 thanks to Bo's superior tummy. They fucked up a crossbody and sloppily covered for it in editing. Bo punches him in the ropes for a DQ. Bo attacks afterwards. WHAT IS THE POINT OF THIS!? His post-match promo was amusing though. AJ skipped backstage.

The Sharknado ads aren't very PG. ROSA HAS A THEME! And she's apparently a wrestler too, and facing AJ. Poor AJ. Well, her husband's on the outs big-time with the company and she doesn't just have a job, but still has a push, so it could be a lot worse. AJ gets the Black Widow. Why even requiring people to fly around the country for this? This cost the company at least hundreds of dollars to do and accomplished nothing. Ah there we go - Paige knocked her off the ramp and was AMAZING.  "SHE'S FINE! SHE'S FINE! OH STOPPIT, YOU'RE OVERREACTING! BE CAREFUL WITH MY FRIEND! SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND!" Paige was so amazing here. This should've been on Raw. Ambrose cut an expository promo about Kane. Oh God, is he eating another chokeslam tonight? OH GOD IT'S ANOTHER KANE-AMBROSE MATCH! Oh, it's Seth and Kane against Ambrose...why on Earth would the Authority put their golden boy in this match? AND WHY WASN'T IT ANNOUNCED UNTIL RIGHT NOW!?

They replayed the attack. It's basically a drop off the apron, but they built it up well here.  THEDEMONKANE came down. Cesaro got a remixed theme, but Seth's theme still sucks. Hes used it for two months and I still can't tell what it is when he first comes out. Ambrose's theme has a very distinct opening to it, which helps it a lot. Big pop for Ambrose. They should really market his hoodie, because it looks fantastic. Cesaro-Ambrose recap! A fan held up a K-Mart sign for Cena, and they went with a #2on1 hashtag. Good luck with that. I loved Cole knocking Seth for not starting, leading to JBL saying that maybe they flipped coins or did rock, paper, scissors which Cole pointed out was absurd. It's a funny visual though. Seth tags in, gets beaten up, and tags out. Dean misses a shoulder charge leading to Seth talking smack to him on the floor - awesome little touch there. Seth slapped him while Kane held him, then did Jericho's cocky kicks before Dean just attacked. Seth was such an annoying little shit here, it was great! Cole asks JBL how he knows that Seth made the Shield, and JBL cites THE VOICE OF WWE CALLING HIM THE ARCHITECT. Cole says that doesn't mean he made the Shield, and JBL points out rightfully that he was either wrong then or now. Dean does a dive to both guys on the floor. Dean kicked Seth's ass a ton in the corner. This, unlike the Bo match, wasn't a DQ. Ambrose brought a chair in to attack both guys, and that was a DQ. Kane's big boot takes him down. Tiger DDT from Dean to Kane on the chair while Seth leaves. Kane took more chairshots. Dude's in his mid-'40s - don't have him do this shit on a B-level TV show.

Jericho and Renee ran a clip from the attack on Raw from nearly 2 weeks ago and a week ago and said it was time to get crazy. Okay then. Stardust and Goldust can fuck off. Now Stardust is doing a bad impression of Gorshin's Riddler. Fandango was out to face Diego, or the Bull, or whatever. The bull is chest-high with Layla - lucky fucker. He's facing Diego, and the women apparently enjoy torturing Fandango and molesting the bull. Cole says they're not molesting the bull, THEY'RE SHOWING IT AFFECTION. Cole rightfully buried himself for that. Cole sang "Stop in the Name of Love" to amuse himself. Fandango's theme hit, the women danced with the bull, and Diego won. Other than the amusing commentary, this was pointless. Cole said there were no words. Raw Rebound focused on the Cena-Heyman stuff. THEY HYPED UP INTO THE STORM WITH BROCK LESNAR BEATING UP TAKER AND F5ING HIM. This was great!

Miz came out to do commentary for ADR-Dolph. Del Rio should really have his boots match the gear. Black and gold clashes terribly with his red, black, and silver gear. Nice flapjack from ADR. Miz says that the money maker is at risk, and Cole says HE'S A SPORTS ENTERTAINER - HE WRESTLES! Cole says he heard Miz would be John Boy in the Waltons, and Miz buried him as being too young to get that. Miz, LIKE EVERYONE WHO HAS HELD IT IN THE PAST THREE YEARS, said he was bringing importance back to the title. Oh my God - he's got some fabulous red pants on. I loved him thanking his cats Pumpkin, Spice, Mocha, and Latte, and then his wife Maryse. Dolph went to attack Miz, and then ate a kick and the armbar. Alberto wins because Dolph is a moron. There was an amusing bit where Cole went to call him a pompous ass, but he didn't say ass, so he just stopped and JBL asked if that meant Miz was just a pompous. Steph-Brie recap is next, which gives me time to listen to at least one song on Weird Al's new album. That thing was so worth the $6 it cost on Amazon. Cole sat down with Brie for a interview - so apparently, she's just back in the company now. Brie was very good here, but they really do need to sure up the logic in this whole deal.

Wyatts came out and Bray asked why Jericho came back. Was it for the bright lights, the rush when the crowd chants his name? Or was it because he knew Bray would be here waiting for him? Jericho is dirty now, but he's just be dirt after Summerslam. They got all artsy with fades here that was kinda neat. Bray was warned by her about Chris, and now the fans see through him. Rowan-Jericho is up next. This would appear to be the main event. I love them doing a one-on-three staredown - it makes Jericho seem so awesome. Jericho gets posted, but hits the triangle dropkick. Harper trips Jericho, BUT THE REF HEARD IT, so he's gone. SINCE WHEN DO REFEREES HAVE A SENSE OF HEARING!? Great move there. They went to a break and came back with Rowan doing a pumphandle backbreaker for 2. Rowan got a Khali spinkick for 2. Rowan missed a running seated boot, but Jericho avoided it and got a clumsy schoolboy for 2.  Lionsault hits for a 2.9. They teased a super fallaway slam, but Jericho escaped and a kid said "YOU GOT IT JERICHO! YOU GOT IT, JERICHO!" God bless that kid for getting so into this. Jericho dove off into a big boot. Codebreaker hits for the win. If nothing else, this feud is getting that back over as a legit finisher again. He should win matches against other heels to really establish that though - especially since Bray will kick out of it at the PPV. The spot would mean so much more if it was further established as a finisher. Bray was pissed and Jericho put up his dukes. This wasn't the best show ever, but the opener, Miz stuff, Ambrose and Seth stuff, and the main event made it seem worthwhile.

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