Wednesday, October 15, 2014

TNA Impact 10-15-14 - Post-BFG

It's the post-BFG edition of Impact, and I'm less interested in it than I was before. Tenay's VO says they're BACK IN THE US and Kurt's got a decision to make about Roode-Lashley. Taz calls Kurt "an all-business type of leadership dude". Kurt said that with him as the director of wrestling operations, the competition has never been better anywhere. Lashley's blue shirt, black workout pants, and bright blue shoes look neat. It's a different look. The boo machine went crazy here, and Kurt has apparently asked MVP and King to not be here, and they agreed. Why, I have no idea. Kurt asks Lashley why he said no when Roode wanted a rematch - well, he beat him clean. Lashley cites this and then asks Kurt if he wants a shot. They stare down and Tenay tries to put it over as a big thing. Kurt says one day it will happen, which is a pretty stupid thing to do unless it's Kurt's final WWE match at WM. Kurt makes a 4-way for the title shot, which they already announced all over the place on social media. EY's out first and man does it feel like it's been eons since he was champion even though he was the most recent champion. Jeff's next, then Aries, and then Roode. LASHLEY HAS THOROUGHLY KILLED ALL OF THESE MEN. This makes the main event roster seem crazy thin. The winner of this match faces "Lasley" as Kurt calls him. Well, this served very little purpose realistically, but only ate up 7 minutes. Team 3D HOF video with Dreamer doing the IT'S STILL REAL TO ME DAMMIT bit. Bully and Velvet were shown as a couple in this video too. So to recap, Team 3D finishes up, tries to get a gig with New Japan ON TNA'S SHOW and then gets honored after leaving with this. Brilliant. Rayne-Havok is next.

Hardy/Willow ShopTNA bundle hype. Matt talked about Jeff and he's all for him getting a shot, and then Magnus talks smack about beating Jeff, and Matt says he wishes he had a dueling glove BECAUSE HE WANTS A MATCH. This was really fun. Madison's out in new short shorts gear. Madison logically explained why she left Taryn to Havok and cheated to win. Havok-Sky stills are shown and largely focus on Velvet's ass. Madison tries a go-behind, but Havok just spins her out. They have a wacky plug for the calendar with Taz scrweing up the site now. Nice elevated full nelson by Havok - it's like Jazz's bitch clamp, but with a full nelson and not a double chickenwing. Vader bodyblock takes Madison down. Idiot in the crowd yells KENNEDY! Taz talked about calling BFG from the company's Nashville WORLD HEADQUARTERS. This match isn't very good, but Madison's ass is five stars. They tease the armbar bearhug drop, but Earl stops it. They say that Gail isn't cleared, so the Havok deal was her short-term writeoff. Havok misses a corner post charge on the floor and nails forearms on the floor and mid-ring. Madison got some corner kicks that looked dreadful, but set up a nice missile dropkick for 2. Side roll is countered by sheer size, and Havok hits the chokeslam now called the Harlot Slayer for the win. Devon and Kurt are backstage, so yeah, actually on-air, BFG wasn't 3D's final date. They're probably going to wind up getting the most out of anyone from TNA's contracts being up in the air since they have plenty of options.

EY cut a promo backstage about having a 5% chance of winning against Lashley, but now he has a 25% chance and he's crazy and wants to get crazy. WHAT!? Good lord does he ever not seem like he belongs in this deal. Full Metal Mayhem clips aired putting the Wolves over huge. Matt's out in red and black pants - but not his V1 ones. They exchange punches and then MAGNUS POWERBOMBED HIM ON THE RINGPOST AND THEN ON THE APRON. Dammit Matt, don't take stupid shit that's going to risk you getting fucked up on shit again. Magnus dominates with holds here now after POWERBOMBING A MAN ON THE APRON, seems like you'd do those things in reverse. Misses a flying elbow. Matt finally gets some offense with the Side Effect for 2. Moonsault gets 2 for Matt. Tenay hypes up EC3's new bodyguard. Magnus tries to cheat to win with a victory roll counter holding the ropes, but he argues with the ref, goes off the top and is met with a Twist in mid-air - this was perfectly-timed and this match was worth watching. Matt looked better here in a singles match than he has in a long time. EC3's BFG promo airs.

Bro Mans and the BPs are out being wacky with Angelina doing Jesse's deal, and Velvet copying DJZ's motions too. They're facing Steve, Knuxy, and Rebel. Thank God Love's in there with Rebel and not Velvet. DJZ smacks Rebel's ass to distract her. This plays into things with Knux going after Z for doing that. Knux then spanks DJZ.  They put over Robbie and Brooke being on the Amazing Race including showing a CBS graphic, so hey, maybe they're angling for a spot there. If nothing else, they're making use of everything being under the Viacom family. Jesse misses a corner charge and Rebel takes over on Angelina. They double clothesline each other to highlight Rebel's ass. Steve gets wacky offense on Jesse and wins with a flying tornado DDT. EC3 reveal is next.

Roode promo about the main event, but he's interrupted by Aries, who respects him for wishing him luck before he faced Lashley. I love the use of little things in TNA history being referenced to make the whole history seem important. EC3 came out with Brodus, and they played into the name issue by having Taz say he got a text saying the name, but you can't say it until EC3 does. Nice. EC3-Hama shots. EC3 introduces Tyrus. HIS NAME IS TYRUS. HIS NAME IS TYRUS. HIS NAME IS TYRUS! Tyrus as a serious act instead of a comedy act should be better for him being taken seriously, although doing bumpless dance matches will help his body hold up on the indies. They did a comedy bit with Tyrus re-enforcing what EC3 said - these two have some chemistry. Devon came out in a Hope For a Single Mom shirt. Devon said that the one guy in the HOF he hasn't beaten is himself. Devon calls him Ty-rex, which actually isn't too bad a name, and then Tyrus keeps yelling TYRUS again. Bram attacks Devon, greatly offending the boo machine. His knee gets beaten up with trash can shots while they keep trying to get over THE KING OF HARDCORE name for Bram.

They showed BFG clips and hyped the replay. EC3 and Tyrus are still in the ring and EC3 said "THANK THE LORD FOR THAT BEARDED ANGEL, BRAM!" Oh this guy is so great. WWE really missed the boat on him, but WWE's loss has been TNA's gain and he's making the most of it. EC3 talked about beating Devon and how he WENT INTO THE OCEAN TO FIND TYRUS'S OPPONENT - SHARK BOY! Oh Christ - not even TJ Perkins could work with him! Bob Ryder told Simon Diamond to find Shark Boy, who was busy eating donuts. He grabs a post-fight donut too. This is an interesting way to make use of a guy who is too broken down to go.Tenay buries Sharky for eating too much in catering, while Taz was just shocked he gets his own dressing room. Tyrus has new gear - it's just his Brodus stuff with TYRUS on it and Redemption down the back. SHE-YA suplex. Bundy avalanche sets up a goozle Show-style chokeslam. Odd to have two chokeslam finishes in the company, but it's different enough, and in a different division. BFG highlights wisely focused on the X Title match, which was excellent, and told the story of the main event nicely. The TNA BANZAI fan got a lot of airtime too. The audio even with it being possible to edit it here, still sounded terrible. Main event is "next", which means a lot of filler before the actual match.

Tenay pimps the TNA social network stuff and they ask Bram about his deal...which we got no info on. Tag title series recap. That really was an awesome thing and something that would've been even better a few years ago when the company was on stronger footing. As it is now, it might've been a good finale program for the company to go out on since they really have made tag titles seem important over the years. A silly cyber Wolves video aired. I have no idea what the point of these things is since they take time and money to make, don't fit the Wolves's gimmick of just being badass fighters, and they of course added stupid howling. And then they announced an 8-team tourney for the next challengers, but didn't name anyone. How very odd.

EY's out first leading to clips of him being killed in every match with Lashley. Clips of his match with Lashley aired, and it's hard to believe that was three months ago. Aries is out, clips, then Roode and clips. Good formula since you get each guy's motivation over, show that they COULD have won the title, but dammit, the champ is simply too dominant. Lashley's booking has also been a lucky break, much like the tag title, where they've managed to make at least two titles feel really important. Intros set up a break, so the main event will probably get about 20 minutes or so.

Aries starts with a corner dropkick and gets 2, while EY cradles him for 2. Okay, this is now an elimination match - WHY NOT ANNOUNCE THAT BEFOREHAND!? EY and Hardy did some stuff in the corner, leading to a headscissors and then Aries and Jeff went at it. Roode shoved Aries off into Hardy with a goofy head bonk. EY hits a suicide dive to Roode. I love this being elimination to give the winner some credibility and underlying it, the ability to make a top 4 contender's listing in reverse. Air Hardy to the pile using Aries's back. Aries dives on that pile. Aries tells the ref to count them all out. Cheap, but smart. Bellator plug is cut off for Aries doing a basement dropkick to EY off the second rope. Hardy's bouncy corner kick missed for an ad break. Going through the Observer now and Elgin leaving ROH was an angle - HIS OWN ANGLE. Oh God this guy. He's doomed and it's his own damn fault. He worked two sub-75 crowds and had a breakdown. Yeah well, you're not a star and your peak was two years ago. Sometimes you get made in a night and can live off of it for decades like Sting, and then there's this.

After the break, they plugged the Storm bundle and the STING bundle. Well shit, you might as well do that now while you've got the rights to the footage, the music, and the merch. Aries did stuff, Hardy did stuff, and EY made a save. Tower of Doom is teased and there's actually a reasonable crowd here. Mega Tower of Doom with JEFF HARDY of all people doing the powerbomb part. Love Jeff bouncing from guy to guy to try and win - and since it's elimination, you could really do this and not have it be pure comedy since only one guy would be taken out. EY goes for a moonsault and it misses, as does Jeff's swanton. Stereo Roode Bomb/Brainbuster take out EY and Jeff Hardy, leaving us with a bit of an Aries-Roode match. Roode bomb countered into a sunset, then a crossface. That's turned into a cradle for 2, then the chancery. Roode gets to the rope and then Aries does the apron neckbreaker. The match itself has been quite good up to this point, but these two are taking it to another level. Aries missile dropkick, then the corner dropkick, AND THE BRAINBUSTER, but it's countered into a Roode bomb. Aries counters that into the discus forearm, Roode counters another brainbuster with a knee, and then Aries responds with a stiff discus forearm. Leap up doesn't work for Aries, who eats a wonky Roode Bomb - it was more like a TKO. This was a fantastic main event overall, with me wanting a best of whatever series between Roode and Aries afterwards - this had some of their best stuff yet despite being probably under five minutes. Hardy and EY come down to congratulate Roode, and Roode helps Aries up. What a perfect way to handle a 4-way babyface match.They held each other's hands high and went around the ring posing. This would've been a really fun final Impact.

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