TNA Impact 10-22-14

Today's been pretty rocking - got a review done way ahead of schedule and I've been up all day for the first time in a while. On the downside, my hard drive with 4-ish years of wrestling show screens is all wonky. I first noticed it trying to save the Figure Four Daily with Jimmy Jacobs, but it spread to everything. I might be able to fix it fairly simply though as the drive is still recognized. I had a lot of them backed up to DVDs at one point - so between that and imagebam, I might have 80% or so of things saved. Beyond that, I won't miss anything beyond my Pete and Pete stuff, which is also largely backed up on DVDs too. Cops before the show has a guy getting arrested for child molestation, getting into a fight, pissing and shitting himself, biting a cop, and breaking another one's nose. This STARTS the show. The second story has a guy getting stabbed after a guy grabs his kid, and he wanders into a fast food joint to get some help. Jesus, this guy's bleeding a ton. Thankfully, the kid is fine.

The opening video focuses on Roode's inner monologue as he heads towards ONE MORE MATCH with Lashley. A goofy bullshit Wolves video was also in here. Matt's out to call someone out as his partner. Why wouldn't he team with Jeff? Why doesn't this thing have brackets? Tenay says he should pick Jeff and he does. Why bother doing this? DJZ's out first followed by Jesse - I'm sensing a filler-filled show here. Tenay plugged The Amazing Race, and with Dixie apparently having a "shocking" network in talks, I could see it being CBS. They briefly mentioned Lashley being on Friday's Bellator show. If Lashley wins and does well in the ratings, I could see Spike making another play for them just to keep things civil. Until Dixie actually announces that new deal, I figure anything's possible. Tenay's plugging the Hardy and Willow bundles. Neither he or Taz are actually calling the match itself. Nice double whip from the Hardys into the buckle leading to a double back suplex to Jesse. Roode-Lashley is next Wednesday - is that the finale? I don't remember any tapings past Roode winning. Tenay plugged the Bro Mans being kings of reality TV, completely puzzling Taz who had NO EARTHLY IDEA WHAT TENAY WAS TALKING ABOUT. They might've called two moves this whole match. Hardy gets 2 off the legdrop. Jeff swantons Jesse and Matt covers for the win. Far too much of this was bewildering. We got replays of that and they hyped up the Roode-Lashley contract signing.

They pushed Hardy and Willow bundles in the ShopTNA ad. Bram and his Seth Rollins-level generic theme came out. Bram likes A SOUND, A SOUND OF SOMETHING HITTIN FLESH and he's more than Magnus's friend - HE'S THE NEW KING OF HARDCORE! And he's coming for DEVON! Well, might as well bring back the TV Title or something. Have them all fight for it and rename it the extreme title. Bram talked about everyone knowing who he is a few too many times. I YAM BRAM! Devon's out to fight. Oh God. They punched, kicked, and choked. Goons came out and then Kurt came out to tell security to break it up. They did. He made Devon-Bram in a hardcore match - great, just what we needed. Ditto BRITTANY ACTING with Shaw. She's orange and in bright neon green - not the greatest look. Show's only 25 minutes in and it's dragging badly.

For some reason, this brawl isn't next. Instead, it's Low-Ki - I'm fine with that. He's in a tag team now for the tourney. He's got a Gracie JJ patch on his jacket now, and he's teaming with Joe. Shaw's out shirtless again with his weird-looking cover-up tattoos. They're really sloppy with some parts that look Sharpied in. He picks Gunner as his partner, and I don't see this going well for the team or as a match. Gunner cut an intense promo befitting MISTER INTENSITY THE MODERN DAY VIKING THE MDV about teaming with Shaw. Joe machine-gun punches Shaw in the corner. Gunner and Ki came in for a chop battle. Gunner hit a nice diving lariat/Vader bodyblock combo. Brittany's out chatting with Shaw on the apron. She's angry because...he's fighting for a title shot I guess. Gunner yells at Brittany for being down there, and he leaps into a kick. Joe came in and kicked Gunner's ass too. Gunner does HHH's facebuster as a calf branding. Brittany grabs Gunner's leg, Low-Ki hits the cartwheel kick, and Joe taps him out. This was a clusterfuck in so many ways. I do not mind Brittany's yoga pants. She and Gunner talk, Shaw hits Gunner in the back with a chair over and over. Hopefully TNA doesn't have a you break it, you buy it policy. They make out rolling all over Gunner - well, that's a new twist on the catfight spot. EC3 quoted "In the Air Tonight", so I already love his match in the tag tourney before it happens.

Lashley's asked about the Roode deal, and MVP talks for him - he throws King a softball, but he has no idea what to say. King and MVP enter the tag tourney so the whole crew can have some gold. Rebel's ass is out to face Love, but Havok's out instead. Punch, legdrop, chokeslam. Gail returns in street gear to fight Havok. Big beal on the ramp to Gail - why take that bump now? Gail gets up and fights, so again, why take it? Two people chant "let them fight", they do. Devon-Bram is next after the break. Boy what an hour one main event.

 In a far better move, they went with a Roode video package talking about his journey to the title. Treating it seriously, even in the state TNA is in, makes the World title seem so much more important than it does in WWE. Kurt says he's not going to have a contract signing just for the sake of it - he'll have a BIG announcement for it to raise the stakes. Bram's out first, followed by Devon. They punch, and kick and bonk and smash and hit, it's the Devon and Brammy Show! Devon gets some water and spits it at Bram - he's hardcore, he's hardcore! Cans, lids, and chairs oh my! Trash canchairto with the chair, and the chairs are all airy, so he might've wound up swinging it a bit harder. Bram bonked him with can lids. I think I had this match all the time in SmackDown: Shut Your Mouth. Devon ballshot sets up a corner can toss. Trash can to the balls sets up a headbutt off the top to the balls, but Magnus canes him. Bram hits him with Mr. Turnbuckle and Bram wins. Anderson chats with Melendez, and he wants him to be his partner against MVP and King. Chris thankfully reminds everyone of what they did to him. Melendez looked 45 with this backstage lighting.

Anderson came out and introduced himself and SAAARRRGGEEE! Anderson and King go at it for a bit, leading to MVP and Chris going at it a bit on the apron. MVP goes for the flying nothing, but catches the foot and then misses an elbow. King's in followed by Sarge. He runs wild and gets a Perfectplex for 2. His leg can't go down, so it's not a smart move for him. It's still amazing to see what he can do, and King gets a distraction schoolboy for the win. EY meets with Spud, and Spud says he has no job - so why is he here, why did EC3 challenge him, and how is EY able to be his partner?  Tito-Bonnar ad is okay.

Wolves chit-chat and them Storm whistles and calls Davey over to him. Storm's dark brown leather jacket looks awesome. Storm wants Manik to cut a promo on how great the Revolution is, and they cut away. TONIGHT'S MAIN EVENT is EC3 and Tyrus against Spud and EY. Holy God. Okay, so Spud apparently isn't EY's partner. Nope, he is. Tenay is baffled by this as well, so yeah this is a bit too goofy. EC3 brought up the I'M WITH SPUD MOVEMENT. EC3 added "you wish you could" to the "You Can't Wrestle" bit. The heat machine went crazy at EC3. Spud came out finally to wrestle. After all of this bullshit, they went to a break. Fuck this show.

Spud's black, neon green, and silver getup is amusing. EC3 tags out to Tyrus. Spud wants to tag out, but EY slaps the buckle to fire him up. Spud fires at Tyrus with leg kicks and forearms! Sternum headbutt hurts him. Big heart punch from Tyrus - while it was taped a while ago, this was a fine tribute to Ox Baker! Tenay did some voice over citing that and plugged his Escape From New York role. Tyrus hit the Big Ending to counter Spud's sleeper. Spud bumps halfway across the ring for the SHEE-YA suplex. Corner avalanche misses and gives Spud some time. Tyrus just slams him down and steps on his hand to tag EC3 in. I love EC3 being a chickenshit against Spud - and a hurt Spud at that. EY gets a tag and hits the flying elbow for 2. EY dives on them. EY holds up the heels for a flip dive off the top! Tyrus gets the goozle slam off of Spud flying into his arms due to EY being knocked into the ropes by EC3, who tags in to get the win. Spud shined brightly here as did Tyrus all things considered. First round is over so Tenay recaps it verbally - no visual brackets though. Contract signing is next.

Lashley-Roode is next week, EC3 and Tyrus face the Hardys, and Joe/Ki face MVP and King. Kurt came out to announce that he's got a stip neither Roode nor Lashley know about. Roode's out in a nice jacket, jeans, and a business casual shirt. Lashley's out in a nice suit wearing the title as a belt. MVP talks a bit of smack and then Kurt asks if either side has anything to say. Bobby says all he loves in wrestling, while Bobby's split between wrestling and MMA. Roode cut a damn good promo about fighting Lashley with the determination that will put the title around his waist. MVP said Lashley would destroy anyone in a wrestling ring, an MMA cage, a street fight, or even on the moon! All MVP does is point him to the ring and the opponent's bell gets rung! This is by far the best overall thing that could've happened for either MVP or Lashley as Lashley's stock really went up with this run, while MVP's got a solid run as both a manager had has been able to do some good work in the ring too. Angle says he'll add a special ref. MVP says EY's gonna be the ref, and Kurt says he's wrong - the ref will be HIM! Roode signs it and Lashley goes away from his crew to sign too. A couple of clips are shown from the match, but nothing that spoils anything. Good closing angle, bad show overall.

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