Monday, October 6, 2014

WWE Raw 10-6-14

TELEVISION ICON FOR OVER 25 YEARS, KATHIE LEE-GIFFORD is on Raw tonight. They haven't billed her as that, but I half-expect it. The pre-show has a None More Pink setup for the WWE studio. Thank God WWE excels at being subtle. Ambrose's theme and a video of him since he returned started the show. This transitioned into a Waterproof Blonde-ish song that was decent. They added a wacky slime graphic and opera music to the sliming. Seth starts the show and Cole says that ALL WEEK, they've heard he was going to start the show and take it over. If they've heard rumors all week, how come we're just now hearing about this? Seth rolls the footage of the curb stomps last week. Noble and Mercury came to get him out of the ring. Seth said he loved being the center of attention and then Cena ran down WITH NO THEME. That was a pleasant change. Seth runs into the crowd, but Dean finds him and brawls. Dean took out the goons, and then hopped up on the apron to sit - he gets all the little things right. Steph and Hunter came down and talked about how both Dean and Cena want Seth. Yup - we're getting Cena-Ambrose with the winner going for the case in a match against Seth. HHH went for a babyface pop asking IF YOU WANT CENA-AMBROSE, DO YOU WANT IT!? Cena and Dean face Seth and Kane...and Orton. Okay, so keep Kane largely out of this and you're good. Cole referred to the SD issues between Dean and Cena, but they didn't show it. The Show flag angle aired again and Cole said it caused an INTERNATIONAL INCIDENT. So we were promised Show-Rusev tonight. Instead, we'll get Show in sensitivity training. Dolph and the Usos face Gold and Stardust and Cesaro next.

Heels came out, followed by the faces. Cole used Dolph's intro to put over WWE SUPPORTING KOMEN FOR THE THIRD STRAIGHT YEAR! Usos cut an inset promo about it being BROS BEFORE WEIRDOS! How intolerant. Jey pushed into the steps beforehand by Goldustto kill some time. Cole talked about Stardust doing RIDDLES now, which are now Stardust Stumpers. Lord. Goldust was an original character, and Stardust is a bad cosplayer of Goldust mixed with a bad Gorshin Riddler. King made a weird-o chant joke and Cole did a goofy laugh. Heels dominate with moves before the break. "We're back on Raw, more of the same here." CESARO CAME IN AND DID A HIP SWIVEL AND JUMPING ELBOW. This man rules. Usos have pink wrist and footbands. Dolph gets a tag and runs in at 1,000 miles an hour. Deja vu into the sleeper! Cesaro throws him into the buckle. Uppercut gets 2. Schoolboy gets 2. Stardust hits Christian's falling reverse DDT for 2. TRIPLE SUPERKICK TO STARDUST! An Uso gets the dive and wins! Second time within this match's segment where they plugged the Komen deal. Today show clips - Kathie Lee and Hoda are next.

They're out with Adam Rose. Hoda is either drunk or playing drunk. Oh my God, this is just dreadful. Hoda demanded the music go up, so they broke candy glass bottles on each other's asses. They did the drop off the apron and this mercifully ended. "WHAT A RAW MOMENT!" Cole dared to say. Same Harper vid from last week aired. Bo's out. Recap of the Henry-Bo saga. Bo-Henry III has Henry dominating, but Bo sneaks in and the ref does a fast count so he loses again. Cole rattled off copy, then King jumped the gun, and Cole rattled off the same exact stuff about the Show-Rusev deal as before.

YAY IT'S DEAN AMBROSE. And he's showing an SD clip and saying he's trying REAL HARD to not get mad. Cena came out and thanked the WWE Universe for being so vocal. They bantered a bit and had a strange line that made it seem like both Dean and Cena were rebels. Dean said they don't care about each other and that he'd leave and go to Coney Island. Dean rules. Cole rushed through his Show-Rusev copy at double speed for a break.

Cena/Ambrose recap. DURING THE BREAK, he not only left the building, but got on the train and had no wait. Does Ambrose have teleportation powers!? Brie's facing Summer with one arm tied behind her back. They've actually got a belt with a loop through it for the hand now - so things look kinda legit. Brie knocked Summer's head into Layla, hit the running rope knee, and won. Good lord. She did the YES bit, but no one reacted. Mr. Kane was greatly confused by a fruit basket, apparently from Miz. Kane saw through it and didn't buy Miz's BS. Miz-Sheamus happens later. Sandow took the basket back and when hmph! Sandow rules!

Swagger's out to face Tyson Kidd, whose marital problems are all over Total Divas and NXT. More YOUNG stuff, now with Kidd. It's like Young Mr. Granger from Are You Being Served. Swagger ran up and did a belly to belly...not quite something and they fell into an ankle lock. Swagger's going to kill someone, and won. Cole plugged the BIG-TIME REUNION of Edge and Christian on the Network after Raw. They did comedy. Roman thing is next.

Cole and his bald spot interviewed Roman, who wants to kick ass sooner rather than later. And that was it. This went maybe a minute. Seth-Cena case recap set up yet another graphic for the handicap match. Oh thank Christ - the Matadores! Hot damn - IT'S THE BULL WORKING. Yes! He's doing a rope walk now. Slater, Gator, AND MINI-GATOR came out. JBL referenced Dundee as the mini-gator! Torito put the gator to sleep with the cape. GATOR ROLL ON HEATH! Titus got gored, and the gator ate a Vader bomb. This wasn't great. JBL said a great many things here, I'm not sure what they had to do with the match. Could they at least TRY to change Cole's copy? He's said literally THE EXACT SAME THING about this Show-Rusev thing at least three times now. Show is back from sensitivity training, and they'll do a thing next.

Literally minutes later, he repeated all of this shit again as Rusev came out. Lana celebrated Putin's birthday. Big Show "should be in prison, JUST LIKE ALL OF YOU!" I love Lana. She talked about Rusev facing "the Bitch-oh". Rusev called out Show. I hope he promises to kick America in the groin! Rusev's going to be made by this. Lana gave Rock shit and told him to SHUT-TUP! Rock said she's dressed like a hooker, but she was hot and it was a real shame she's got a spearmint bottle up her Putin. Rock put Rusev over as bigger, tougher, and stronger than everyone he's faced. Rock called them a-holes, so an asshole chant broke out. Love him pointing at Lana during the pie-eating part. ROCK SENT HIM PACKING! Okay - we've gotta get Rock-Rusev. These two have shockingly great chemistry together. I'm doing this in 2K14 later. Holy shit.

Paige and Alicia came out to face AJ and EMMA!? Emma still got no reaction. It sure would be nice if the commentators didn't bury EVERY SINGLE THING ABOUT EMMA! AJ took the belt and left Emma. Paige wins with the Rampaige. So yeah, nearly everything about this was counter-productive. Rowan video. Same kinda deal with Harper, but with a pregnant woman at the end and "it's coming" at the end. Bruno got a birthday tribute. Miz-Sheamus is up. They went through the motions before the break. And after. Mizdow distracted and ate a kick, then Sheamus lost via a distraction schoolboy. Hogan/Komen recap.

King hyped up those who have CONQUERED BREAST CANCER! LET'S HEAR IT FOR WWE'S CHARITY WORK! I mean the women, yeah! Joan Lunden's out. Thanks to your donations, people are surviving breast cancer. And you can pick up WWE merchandise to support the cause! I loved her naming the people at ringside who fought and beat breast cancer. Cena came out and gave her a big hug in his Keep Calm breast cancer shirt - available now on WWEShop. Handicap match is up next.

Some blonde reality star named NeNe Leakes is guest-starring on Raw next week. To further kill time, we get more Edge and Christian stuff at 10:56. Cena came out and the crowd sang Cena Sucks to his theme. Heels beat down Cena. Cena, who AFTER BEING KILLED BY BROCK LESNAR, HAD NO TROUBLE KILLING THE ENTIRE WYATT FAMILY, struggled here. A BIG BOOT IS A DQ!? Here in this 3-on-1 handicap match, KANE HITTING ONE KICK was just too much. Then Dean came down with a hot dog cart and holsters with mustard and ketchup. Heels get blasted. Seeing Seth's gear get ruined reminds me of Lance saying he had to toss gear out due to the fake bloodbath. Seth got his nuts tonged. HHH came out after all this goofiness. HHH made Dean-Cena for the Cell, and the winner faces Seth inside the Cell. Steph took great joy in saying ONE OF THEM WILL GO TO HELL. And Dean hit the DDT to Cena for a huge pop. So I guess he's losing, even though Dean-Seth makes the most sense inside the Cell.

Screens -

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