Wednesday, October 8, 2014

TNA Impact 10-8-14

Word to the wise - DO NOT GET TWO QUARTER POUND BIG BITES FOR $3. It is not a net savings. Holy Hell have I regretted that purchase, as it hasn't agreed with my anti-biotics. Tonight's Impact is a fairly exciting show since it's got the Full Metal Mayhem match, and that's going to be a must-watch. Pre-show Cops has a guy so drunk he CRASHES INTO A HOUSE! Guy has a kidnapping charge on him before, and warrants. Yikes. Dude had an 18 PACK OF BEER. Jesus. He's quite lucid and calm all things considered, honestly. The guy sounds mentally off, although he could just be slurring due to the drunkenness. Kidnapping charge was against a drug dealer, which doesn't seem wise. The last bit is an undercover drug bust - the guy isn't impressed by the tiny rocks, so he leaves and gets busted immediately.

Tag title series recap starts off the show. This really was something that should be heralded as an all-time great series since every match in it was very good - shame it happened in this era of the division and not the '08/'09 MCMG-Beer Money era. Lashley-Roode recap finishes things off. Roode's out and Tenay brings up that BFG is 4 days away, which is just sad.  Roode says he won't give up on his dream and he didn't want MVP's answer - he wanted Lashley's. MVP and King came down, and when they entered the ring, you could literally just see one row of fans. MVP cut a fine promo on him while King made an L. Roode calls them out on being Lashley's lackeys. MVP calls Roode Yoko Ono for trying to break them up. Crowd gave no shits about this. MVP and King called him out on doing ANYTHING for a shot. If he beats King and MVP in a handicap match, he'll get his shot. There's a catch - if Roode loses, he never gets a shot at the World title - not just when Lashley's champ, but ever. He accepts to a mild reaction. Velvet and Angelina are out for a 3-way no. 1 contender's match. Velvet gets a title shot against Havok for winning...what exactly? Taryn's out next, and the break will bring out girl 3.

A brief BFG card rundown airs. Rayne is the final opponent. Tenay puts over that Havok has been the most dominant Knockout in many years. Taryn hits a horrible monkey flip to Angelina. The faces fight over a 2 count. Angelina's ass is shockingly great given her negative weight. Madison gets an SOS for 2. Velvet interfered, which didn't result in her being ejected. Super Hart attack from Taryn looked painful for her. Taryn dives on them both mid-ring, doesn't get a cover. Taryn gets the Ace crusher on Love, but Madison gets an Oklahoma Roll and uses the tights to win. Havok and her cape and gas mask came down and took out Taryn, while Madison just left her on her own. Storm and Sanada face Uno and Low-Ki next - that should be fun.

MVP's crew chatted backstage. Lashley was visibly annoyed by them and said THANK YOU!? sarcastically. Muta-Sanada recap - this feud has been going on for about six months now, and it tells a perfectly fine story. Revolution vs. Low-Ki and Uno gets going without any intros - yikes. Tenay clarified the handicap match stips - he has to beat both guys and not just one. Nice spinny back kicky thing from Uno to counter a kneeling Sanada doing...nothing really. Sanada's got the red and white paint, but the dark blue, gold, and white getup - so it looks odd. Low-Ki works really well with Storm, who looks gigantic in there. Backstabber gets 2 from Storm. It's amazing that a Carlito heel turn eons ago changed that move's name industry-wide. Mist to Uno sets up the superkick and the win. Okay match - nothing must-see though. Storm has really dropped some weight - he's actually kinda ripped here. Gunner and Shaw talked about Shaw having a specialty match with Bram. Yup, that's what we need here on a show with a TLC match - a nothing mid-card weapons match. Shaw strips to show all the arm tats he got FOR GUNNER. Well, except for him having them before. Sure. This was stupid.

They've got Jeff Hardy and Willow bundles on ShopTNA. Shaw and his weirdly-shaped left pec and bad ink came down without a shirt. Bram and Mr. Turnbuckle came down and got hit with can lids. Shaw hit him in the back with a chair, and Bram sold it marvelously. Shaw throws chairs in. Tenay brought up us not seeing Shaw compete on TV without a shirt - well, with this gimmick. Sunset bomb by Shaw onto the chairs. Bram has Mr. Buckle, bonks him, and wins. Going through my old screens, Shaw had the same tats on his left arm, but his right up tribal ink is all covered up now. Brittany comes out looking a bit like a hooker to console him. Roode talked to the interview guy about how important the world title is. Roode vs. King/MVP is next. Bellator ad hypes up BIG NAMES. Doesn't show or mention them. Good move.

Team 3D cut a promo about the Wolves being crazy, while Eddie Edwards put over Ric Flair's catchphrase by saying to be the champs, you gotta beat the team! Davey said they made it an FMM match to beat both iconic teams at their own game in one fell swoop - that should've been done last week, but better late than never. MVP and King got no intro, here in this world title-level match. Kenny's gear is red with a gold belt and black and white skyline on the back - so clearly he wants to make himself perfectly in Fire Pro Returns. Heels jump him while the heat machine goes nuts. They run down the undercard interpromotional matches for BFG. They are in fact matches. MVP grinds Roode's back with his boot on the floor - I don't recall that being done before, so I dig it. MVP sat on the steps and talked shit - love it. Roode ducked a shot, so King hit MVP and Roode got an opening. King gets tossed over, but MVP gets the Player's boot, and gets 2 off a Perfectplex. Roode avoids the drive by and gets the win with a schoolboy! MVP hooks the leg to lead to a cheapshot and DESPITE EARL SEEING IT, it's fine. I need some Fuckitall with this booking. Now, after a 2, it's over for MVP. High knee from Roode leads to a lariat and a blockbuster - I definitely need to update his 2K14 moveset. King springboards into the Roode Bomb, which was awesome and would've got the win - but Lashley attacks. So Roode wins by DQ, but Lashley gets the match he wants on at least something resembling his own terms. Spear to Roode! Odd to have him be totally heelish here - well, kind of. Okay, so the stip is that Roode had to win via pin or tapout. EC3 in a shirt I think I own that cost $10 at Wal-Mart, told Spud he'd accept an apology tonight.

EC3 came out with no intro and pointed out that he's been in TNA for one calendar year and hasn't been pinned or submitted yet. EC3 said he's taken out all who have disappointed him, but tonight, he will give one man a chance to make amends - ROCKSTAR SPUD! Spud, in a subdued purple and black getup came down. Spud says he's sorry for what happened to Dixie, but uses the best friend term, which pisses EC3 off. He'll prove he's his best friend since he loves green, likes a 71 degree room, and that he's always bothered by people saying he can't wrestle. This sets up a perfect YOU CAN'T WRESTLE/HE DISAGREES/HE THINKS HE'S VERY GOOD bit. EC3 brings up the Spud/EC3 skits at the Carter compound, which were a forgotten part of the Bully angle when it was active. He calls Spud a loser and HE DISAGREES. HE'S NOT A LOSER - HE'S ROCKSTAR SPUD! Loved Spud slapping the shit out of him. EC3 looks impressed for a second. EC3 fires Spud and then...that's it - tag series vid is up. Well, they sure didn't make the most of that. Full Metal Mayhem is up next.

BUT FIRST, a BFG card recap with full-screen graphics. Roode handicap match recap led to the heels being cocky. Kurt and his really wrinkly suit were offended by MVP making a the opening segment. Angle says he'll give Roode a top contender match until he gets his match with Lashley. Well, that's biased. Hardys are out and they've got a mix of TNA-painted ladders and a giant orange and silver one, which just looks out of place. Tenay puts over that if 3D can win the titles tonight, they'll go into the Hall of Fame as champs. They are really drawing out the intros, which I like - it makes this seem special. Wolves have some swank shiny red, black, and white gear. Tenay puts over that now, all of the teams are 100% and it's break time.

Guys brawl for a bit and Taz and Tenay bring up Davey having a broken leg. They said it happened last week after the show - what an odd thing to do. They bring up the injury, but do so AFTER HE HEALS. Devon apparently tore his groin during one match in this series, but "re-injured it" on Sunday at the gym, so I guess these things all play a part in things. Bully Rock Bottoms Matt. Davey gets a DDT to Bully, which  means nothing as Jeff prevents him from going up. Toehold into a chair for Jeff. Ouch. Bully and Eddie have a chop-fest. Eddie prevents Doomsday to Matt, but eats a tower of doom! Devon moves the steps around outside, along with a rail for a bridge. Davey knocks him onto the bridge, and then points and howls. Bully rightfully attacks this idiot, but Davey avoids a powerbomb, but eats an elbow. OVER THE TOP POWERBOMB ONTO THE BRIDGE! HOLY SHIT! Well, that's a good ad break right there.

Air Hardy in the corner when they return. Simmons spinebuster by Devon to Davey. Devon runs wild with the chair, then Eddie hits him. I hope one of the best of shows is just this whole series. Matt joins in to kill Devon with chairs to the back. Bully runs in the corner and eats an elbow to set up Whisper in the Wind and a swanton! God, that guardrail is just mangled. Twisto to Bully on the floor. Hardy makes a table bridge with the table legs-up. Jeff dives off the top to the table with a legdrop and just flies through that fucking thing. Jesus. Eddie, Bully, and Matt chopped and punched on ladders. DOUBLE BEAL TO EDDIE AND HE LANDS RIGHT ON HIS HIP! Matt shoves Bully off, and falls too. Matt takes Davey down and tells him to watch out for something. Ah, he's got a new table and needs him to move a bit. Matt takes Davey out on the floor and puts him on a table. FLYING LEGDROP OFF THE LADDER ON THE FLOOR! Taz rightfully puts over that you're not getting action like this anywhere on TV - well hell, they're going out on a high note with this thing. Orange and silver ladder is mid-ring. WASSUP TIME. Devon tells the camera man to move. BEFORE WASSUP, JEFF SENDS HIM TO THE FLOOR THROUGH TABLES! Davey gets the big ladder tipped over and BUMPS TO THE FLOOR. Ugh - no tables there! Jeff and Bully play hot potato with a chair for a bit. Matt punches Bully on the table. Matt's going for a moonsault, but Davey stops it by crotching him and stopping Jeff. DAVEY KNOCKS JEFF OFF THE LADDER THROUGH BULLY VIA A SPLASH! HOLY GOD! Matt and Davey are on the ladder, and Eddie POWERBOMBS MATT THROUGH THE TABLE OFF THE LADDER - so using Bully's own move against him to win the series. Holy shit. Highlights aired and they hyped up next week's Roode challenge match. This show was great as a whole and that main event was crazy.

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