Wednesday, October 1, 2014

TNA Impact 10-1-14

LASHLEY DESTROYS THINGS AND PEOPLE in a recap video to start the show. Roode-Lashley match recap as well. Interview dude asks Bobby about his plans, and he'll tell the world later. They show the crowd in close up and THEN FROM AFAR. Holy God was that a mistake - it's like the '90 AWA tapings with the first two rows visible. The lighting looks fairly dark for an Impact show too. Aries is out and asks which champion they'd like to see him face - Gail (ha!), the Wolves, or Joe. Joe comes out to say he should face THE BEST CHAMPION IN THE COMPANY. Well no, actually Lashley beat you, so he's the best. Aries says he wants the X Title because it stands for everything good in wrestling, and the match is up. Aries armdrags Joe around, then eats a big back elbow. Joe gets the piston punches in the corner, corner elbow, and big kick too. Aries punches the knee to survive - nice, you don't see that often. Joe saunters out of the way of the missile dropkick. King King kneedrop misses, so Aries kicks the leg. Aries does the rope bounce on the knee badly, then locks on some kind of leglock, and doing a Sharpshooter grapevine leg snap - I liked that. Inside out double sledge to Joe while he was in a 619 position. Pendulum elbow gets 2 and it's ad break time. This has been a shockingly good match so far - not that they can't have a good one, but considering the crowd, I appreciate them busting their asses for them.

Aries avoids a powerbomb, but eats a snap powerslam for 2. Joe gets a sleeper and Aries does the zombie walk into a jawbreaker, a 2 off that, and the Last Chancery off of that. Aries wants the brainbuster, but he can't lift him and screams in pain due to the knee. Discus forearm from Aries leads to another brainbuster attempt that Joe counters with an inverted atomic drop and the big boot to the floor. Aries dives at Joe with a suicide dive and nails a missile dropkick mid-ring, the corner kick, and the brainbuster! 2.9! 9-to-5 knees set up the chancery again, but it's countered into the choke! Aries tries to escape, but rolls the wrong way and groggily taps out. This was the best X Title match in eons. Tthat greatly exceeded my expectations. EC3 in new blue and white gear met with Spud, in a Partridge Family bus suit.

Quick recap of the crazy No Surrender ladder match. Angle chatted with the Wolves, and they've picked the match type - Angle said it's the match of the year. Spud holds the mic for EC3, who asks him if he's his best friend. EC3 says his friends have trust funds, while Spud just doesn't quite fit in. He said the people weren't with Spud. I'm with Spud - and not only because he and my adorable cat have the same name. EC3 buried Spud's haircut, and Spud said that he only got it to look like him. Aww. Then EC3 tore his suit up! EC3 demanded that he cry for him. Oh this is great. EC3 laughs at him, and then EY comes out in Halloween gear. EY told him to stand up for himself, and EC3 jumped him. Ref rings the bell since they had a match planned for later anyway. EY hits a plancha on EC3. Thesz press punches from EY. Swinging suplex from EC3 gets 2. EC3 gets a chinlock and EY escapes. EY's tights now match his flesh tone. He's disgustingly orange. Flying forearm sets up the discus lariat and it's elbow time. Spud puts Ethan's foot on the rope to save him. EC3 gets shoved into Spud, but while it teased a piledriver, that just leads to a low blow, a high knee, and the headlock driver for the win. Great flip bump from EY on that. "Not too many guys can say they've beaten FORMER WORLD CHAMPION ERIC YOUNG!" Wow. Havok-Gail is next.

Well, not quite - recap of King-Melendez is up before that. Anderson and Melendez chatted. Melendez looks 8,000 years old in this backstage bit. The lighting makes it look like he has three chins. I think they're going to jump King or something. Havok recap. Gail gets jumped during her intro. Havok is looking quite chesty in this outfit. They're having a great brawl around ringside, using the rail as a post to kick Havok for Gail, who then ate a hot shot on it. Flying something off the apron is met with a kinda-spinebuster from Havok. Hammerlock bearhug slam on the floor! The ref waves the match off and they show replays that really don't look anymore devastating than the regular angle.

Havok-Gail brawl recap. Tag series hype vid - Jeff landed hard on his back doing the Whisper in the Wind to the ladder. The Wolves, the World Tag Team Champions of TNA, came out like low-end Wal-Mart shoppers. Eddie howled and good lord is Davey short. Before Davey can announce the match, Team 3D comes out. Since I've got camo shorts figured out in FPR, I should really update my CAW for Bully in that. Bully is greatly offended by...something. I have no idea what, that the Wolves apparently said. He said that the Wolves would never do what Team 3D has done, and will never equal them. Ugh. Bully tells them to tuck their heads and leave. Fuck you, Bully Ray. If his character was a heel, this would make sense, but he's not. Matt's got an HWA - Hardyz With Attitude - STRAIGHT OUTTA CAMERON shirt. Okay, that is great. Matt declared the Hardys to be Gods. Okay, so once again, THE TWO TEAMS FROM THE PAST AREN'T AS GOOD AS THE CURRENT TNA WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS, WHO HAVE BEATEN BOTH OF THESE TEAMS. Davey rightfully tells these fuckers to shut up, that they're the team of today, tomorrow, and have beaten these guys. Bully cheapshotted Davey, and I guess the legendary teams are heels now for some reason. How random. Angle came out to tell the Wolves they can name the match. The fans chanted TLC really loudly and a Full Metal Mayhem match was made. Should be great, but this thing took a big step back tonight. Anderson was annoying to King and MVP. I'm very disappointed in Chris Melendez for hanging around Ken Anderson. I think they've got a tag match or something. Nope, it's Ken-MVP, and we'll hear from Roode later.

Gail and the trainer did a thing, and Kurt came in and asked IF SHE SHOULD WRESTLE after getting the really bad-sounding diagnosis. Kurt of course, just lets her decide to wrestle. Does he have stock in a painkiller company now? The Revolution came out. Manik's new outfit sucks. He's out to face Shark Boy, who ate a lot of fish during his time off of TV.  Then again, he WON A LAWSUIT AGAINST DISNEY - enjoy the fruits of your labor. Shark Boy got winded during the corner mount punches, which they're bringing up on commentary blatantly. Taz and Tenay talked about the Pinto for a bit due to its gas tank. Taz buried Shark Boy's shirt for looking worn out. Manik did a suplex, then a back suplex. God, this just won't end. Manik kinda got Shark Boy up for the tiger gutbuster and nailed a frog splash to win. This was a God-awful showcase for Manik and Shark Boy looked old, slow, fat, and out of shape. Anderson faces MVP next in a 2007 SmackDown showdown.

TNA live event tour graphic. Wow - TNA has NOTHING after BFG until almost February. Bully cuts a promo on the Wolves for daring to challenge 3D and the Hardys to Full Metal Mayhem, a match that involves, TABLES, LADDERS, AND CHAIRS, and anything else. The Wolves are dealing with TAG TEAM GODS, not because they say it, but because the fans say it. And Team 3D is going into every HOF that pro wrestling has, and they want to be inducted into the HOF as 25-time tag champs. THOU SHALT NOT MESS WITH TEAM 3D! Ken did his usual intro, and sadly, Chris didn't beat his ass. Instead, he did the final ANDERSON bit. MVP's new black, purple, and white Artistra gear rules. The Smackdown midcarders from 2007 went through the motions of a mid-card Smackdown match from 2007, only with Melendez and King as cheerleaders. MVP lands one knee drop, but Ken moves out of the way of a second and lands some punches. Finlay roll gets 2 and he runs to do...something, stops, and then gets pinned via a distraction schoolboy thanks to King. Roode says words next.

Roode gets no intro, and is just mid-ring in black jeans and an untucked black button-down shirt. Is there an edict that theoretical top babyfaces have to look like schmucks? He talked about only being as good as his last match, and in his last match, he lost. He invited Lashley to come down, and hopefully not speak. Oh good, his crew is with him. Lashley should've kept his first TNA theme - this one has a good start, and that's it. Roode talked about kicking out of the spear and it startling Lashley like he's never been startled before in TNA. Roode, like Christian he was an annoying heel, wanted ONE. MORE. MATCH. He at least cited that Lashley, as a competitor, should do it. MVP was against it and stepped in Lashley's face and said NO. Roode rightfully said that he was TALKING TO THE CHAMP, NOT MVP. MVP leads the champ out, and you can see that Lashley wasn't happy there. Good tease here for something they don't seem to be able to pay off anytime soon. Gail Kim is just now getting taped up. What a stupid babyface.

Next week, it's Full Metal Mayhem for the tag titles! It's main event time at 10:52 - I like the women's title being in a main event position, even if it's not really been pushed as that. Gail cuts an awful promo on Havok. YOU WANT. THIS!? COME AND GET. THIS! Havok came down and beat the hell out of her shoulder. Bearhug slam in the corner. Gail goes for a flying headscissor, but eats a shoulderbreaker to the...good shoulder. Gail sells the bad one, and Taz and Tenay say Havok's trying to take both arms out. Very cleavagey Rings of Saturn here. Gail gets a brief edge and a ringpost figure 4!

Screens -

Okay so far.

 Impact of Honor


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