SD being in the dictionary got a plug. Rose was back outside being carried around by dudes despite already being in the ring before. Kane came out and say he is not in fact a cheeseburger, HE'S A PARTY POOPER! Rose flies into a throat thrust, eats a chokeslam and that's it. Kane killed some Rosebuds. Then more. Everyone sacrifices themselves to save the bunny! Cena's debut is shown - nothing involving Angle being on offense was shown, and they made it seem like Cena won and then showed clips of veterans giving him props - including the Undisputed champion Taker shaking his hand. AJ's out for a match.
They showed some Tweets. Paige grabbed the Divas title. Northern lights gets 2 for Alicia, as does a tilt a whirl backbreaker. Black Widow is locked on and that's it. AJ bonks the heels together and that's it. Okay then. Komen plug led to the Lunden promo, which was fantastic. Rusev faces Dolph later. Seth's out with Noble and Mercury, who are out to provide more security since Dean and Cena are here. Seth gets to kill Kofi, who Cole puts over as a 10 TIME CHAMPION IN WWE. So just in case you thought titles meant anything, there you go. Slingblade, buckle bomb and curb stomp ended it. Harper video - they really need to explain these to some degree on-air. They're just thrown out there and no one comments on them. You've got the brainwashing cult leader setting these nuts out on their own - SHOULDN'T THAT MATTER!?
MITB cash-ins were shown - it's amazing to see Swagger with the World title even now. Rusev's out for his match. Rock-Rusev recap. Neither guy got an intro. They do nothing of note for a couple of minutes until a break. WWE's coming to Fairfax for a house show...tempting. CHIA-ZOMBIE IS A THING! Rusev's destroyinig Dolph AND TWIRLING. ALWAYS TWIRLING TOWARDS FREEDOM! Rusev dominated thoroughly until Dolph got a cheapshot, then Rusev missed a corner splash leading to a fameasser. Rusev caught the superkick and then just threw this fucker high into the air, superkicked him, and tapped him out. This was a blast! Lana says that Philly being the birthplace of America shows why America can't succeed. ZE ROCK IS A COWARD! Now Rusev's talking. ZE ROCK WILL PAY FOR THE CONSEQUENCES, AND BIG SHOW, YOU GARBAGE AMERICAN WILL PAY FOR DIS TOO! They have really lucked into this act getting so over and he's growing into the push nicely, unlike say Reigns was. RUSEV HOP! Supermarket skit clips.
Komen merch plug - WWE is donating 5% of all purchases to Komen, which is nice of them. The Eagles are here, sadly, no Swagger Soaring Eagle. On Monday after Raw, Rock met with the Authority because...of course he would or something. HHH of course brought up winning the main event of the first SD, and Rock brought up HBK. These backstage bits are so bizarre with clips in them. Rock says they should main event WM and of course, if HHH main events, ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND PEOPLE WILL BE THERE. Rock looks so much younger than HHH, and boy has Hunter's head grown since '99. Then they did some wacky comedy breaking the fourth wall. These two still have good chemistry as comedy acts together. Steph begs these fools to shut up FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! Then Steph was delightfully wacky. Rock asks HHH to pay, while HHH calls him cheap. They brought out an SD 15 cake and JBL threw it right into Tom's face! Booker's out for commentary, and Tom comes to life with all this. Team Teddy came out to his theme. Booker said that Big Johnny was his boy.
After the break, he backed Teddy since he was on Team Teddy at WM 28. "What's shucky ducky quack quack mean?" "IT'S A TERM!" "I KNOW IT'S A TERM!" They had a ton of fun referencing the supermarket fight and Cole referenced JBL beating Booker a ton as champion, including once when Booker knocked JBL cold. Stuff happened and they all got in for a schmozz for the break. The match is a backdrop for the commentary. CHOP HAD SOME MEAT ON IT! Usos and the Dust Bros rule together. DISASTER KICK on the apron - good to see that back in Cody's arsenal. Mini-Gator attacks an Uso! "WE WANT MIZDOW!", he tags in and gets a huge response. They've got something with him, clearly. Big Thank You Mizdow chant when he leaves. Cesaro lift to an Uso! Second ad break for the match - still very little of note going on beyond the Mizdow stuff.
Cole's voice cracked after the break describing Booker T. I like the Usos gear having breast cancer ribbons on them. Sheamus clubbers Cesaro, then Stardust, then Heath, then all of them in succession! Well, that was cute. Ridiculous, but cute. Double dive from the matadors to Slater/Gator. Double Uso Dive to the Dust Bros! Bo and the Bull do stuff - BO RAZORS EDGES HIM TO THE PILE! Bo takes a victory lap mid-ring and eats a Brogue kick. Cesaro swing to Sheamus! Uso superkick ends that. Mizdow comes in, eats the Brogue, an Uso splash, and loses! Cole asks Booker to do his catchphrase, and he needs to know which one! And then they just go to a Rowan vid. These things seem to be setting up Bray and the crew as allies, but not a faction anymore. Steph talks to Miz - Miz TV is the main event. Show-Rusev gets hyped up as THE MAIN EVENT of Raw. Well, that would be daring - hopefully they do it.
A fantastic recap of Vince's promo from the post 9/11 SD aired. MizTV is up for Raw clips. Miz announces that Cena-Ambrose will now be a NO DQ CONTRACT...on a pole...match! Dean's out in his hoodie and the Unstable Dean Ambrose shirt. It's not as good as the Explicit Ambrose Violence bootleg ones. Cena met with a Make a Wish kid. Tom said THIS IS WHAT THE SHOW HAS BEEN ABOUT. WHAT!? "He never changes, John." "And he never will", which is part of the problem. Dean cut a fantastic promo about Cena doing him wrong, and even though Seth is his brother, he has to set things right by taking him out. Cena says that ever since Dean debuted, THE PEOPLE BACKSTAGE have been nervous. Cena said that ever since Raw, it's clear to him that Dean has IT and then showed some baseballs because they're what Dean has and Miz doesn't have. Cena is by far the happiest man to ever get knocked out. Cena saying he and Dean are cut from the same cloth is just ridiculous. Miz points out that a brawl hasn't broken out yet, so Dean and Cena oblige him. Cena set Miz up for the AA, but tossed him into the Tiger Double Arm DDT, and then AA'd Dean! Nice - Cena got a bit of revenge here.
Screens -
http://www.imagebam.com/gallery/prmnvefk8oyxxi4dyqxvlkly20rhksha
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