Wednesday, September 17, 2014

TNA Impact Wrestling 9-17-14

The pre-show Cops features a guy sleeping in front a building, having a cop called on him, and waking up with a cop and his cocaine falling onto his lap. Well, that's bad timing. And it's HIS GIRLFRIEND'S CAR. Yup. This guy is just out of it, and there's so much that he might be charged with trafficking. He took half a tablet of oxycontin with beer and cocaine. Wow.  He's got 14 bags of coke! The guy is fading in and out and the cop is really hoping he doesn't have to call in  medics. He warns him that right now, it's just a cocaine possession charge, but it could be bumped up. The cop gets rescue out here for him, and tells him he knows he's sorry, but this is his day to start anew. This guy rules! The cop told him that going to jail could help him - he didn't hurt anyone but himself today, and he can get the help he needs. The world needs more cops like this.

Tag title series is the focus on the pre-show hype video. Matt says the Wolves a million moves, while the Wolves are fighting the Hardys, Team 3D, and their combined legacies. Tonight, we get the ladder match between the teams, Joe-Cide for the X Title, and Lashley-Roode. The opener is the KOs battle royal. Taryn's hot ass and boob window are out first, followed by Madison. BPs are out. Rebel's out and they bring up her background in cheerleading. Brittany's theme sucks and she got zero reaction. I loved them showing a shot of her cleavage and Taz saying he thinks he's found her alley. LEANING DOUBLE ARM CHOKE FROM HAVOK. God, she just comes off like a monster - and a far better one than Tapa in every way. She's got presence, size, and has a terrifying look. Tapa looked tentative with EVERYTHING - even if it was just holding Gail's belt up. Havok called on everyone to attack, they did, and it did no good! Madison's out via a shoulder block. Taryn gets tossed to the apron and elbowed out. Brittany goes for sub-Velvet forearm blasts. Taz pimped Flex with Gail in it. Forearm shot takes Brittany out. Rebel low-bridges Love to take her out. Rebel got tossed OFF THE TOP ONTO THE STEPS and pinned her arm between her body and the steps. She's immediately clutching her wrist, so that's where the break happened. Velvet gets dumped out. 

Gunner told the once-crazed Samuel Shaw to see his therapist. I thought he was? Didn't he tell Brittany he was? Now he wants Shaw to tap that, but Shaw's fixated with someone else. MVP, who looks and acts like a star, it out with Kenny King, who doesn't do any of those things. MVP cuts a fine promo on Roode, and talks smack about Melendez. MVP says he's a real hero, but he wants him to join the crew since they're real killers - like him. King offers a role as a bag-carrier. He makes a bad boot camp joke, and asks if Chris thinks he's better than him. Well, he is. MVP attacks Chris to set up the match. BFG ad. Show's back and King's laying in some corner chops. Chris fought off his knees to attack King, and boy does he ever have "it". Taz was sickened by the mockery of Melendez - I love a heel being outraged by another heel's actions. Chris countered a torture rack with a really fast sunset flip and won - he can't move the fake leg over a shoulder quickly though. Royal Flush hits after the match. Kenny goes to take the leg off, but Anderson comes out and Taz calls King a rotten son of a bitch. This wasn't much going into it, but hey, they got me hooked on this afterwards. An awesome hype video for Roode-Lashley aired. It was full of Lashley working out, punching dudes, spearing dudes, and then set up Roode with workout footage and showing him as the most dominant and longest-reigning champion in company history. Just perfect stuff here.

Anderson and Chris had a chat, and it's X Title time. Love the guy in the front row dancing to 'Cide's theme. Now the Savage Fan is doing it too! I love Tenay talking about Joe and Homicide's history in TNA - it dates back to '09, which is also the last time Homicide was X Champion. A standing forearm exchange sets up a big Joe knee for 2. Homicide gets the somersault suicide dive on the floor. Corner suplex gets 2 for Joe. Joe sets up the buster, but Cide counters into a flying DDT for 2. Homicide's speed is impressive given his age and mileage. Cutter gets 2 for Homicide. Joe turns a second cutter into the choke for the win! This was short and fun. Storm and Sanada attacked Joe and Cide defended his former friend. Sanada hit the kneeling superkick and now Manik's out with a dark blue and lighter blue sleeveless version of the old outfit, but with a white and gold mask. Tag title series match is apparently next. What a loaded show this truly is. Their promo was fine, but nothing amazing.

BFG ad. EY annoyed Bobby, who was trying to enjoy the calm before the storm. Hardys are out, with Matt in black and silver, and Jeff in black and green. Wolves need to win to keep the series alive, or else they lose to whichever other team wins. Double dive to duos from the tag champs starts this off. WHISPER IN THE WIND TO THE WOLVES AS THEY HOLD needlessly dangerous in every way. Looked cool though. Bully does the stupid Terry Funk ladder spin. It was stupid in '97, and it's dumber now in the era of concussion awareness. WASSUP TO DAVEY OFF THE LADDER! Devon wanted to get the tables, but Matt hits 3D with a ladder to take them out. Eddie and Matt climb up, but Devon takes them down to the ropes. They come back and Bully powerbombs Jeffs onto the ladder, hitting Eddie and Matt! Wolves hits a double powerbomb to Bully to take him off the ladder! Matt Twists Eddie off the ladder! SUPERPLEX OFF THE LADDER TO HARDY! Hardy's feet hit the belts on the way down, which was an excellent visual. Height-wise, this was around the level of the top rope. Doomsday device setup hits Davey. Double Twist to the Wolves, and then they do a moonsault/swanton to 3D! Air Hardy in the corner! Big splash off the top from Jeff to a Wolf on a ladder. 3D tries to use tables, but the Wolves fight back with chairs! DAVEY DOUBLE FOOTSTOMPS MATT THROUGH THE TABLE ON THE FLOOR! They pull a ladder out from under Jeff and he just guts himself on the ladder, while Eddie grabs the belts. This was an insane video game match - super-fun to watch.

They recapped the ladder match - so they're at least getting some mileage out of the guys killing themselves. Bram faces Gunner for some reason. Gunner "lands badly" on the injured ankle, and Brams snaps the leg on the steps in some unique ways. Shaw yells annoyingly. Goofy bullshit happens and Shaw costs Gunner the match as a result. Battle royal recap leads to Gail talking about not having a problem with Havok winning, but having a problem with someone who outright tries to injure her and her friends. Not her best promo. Roode comes out, followed by Lashley. Taz puts over the Bellator fight some more. JB's big-fight intros add a lot - hopefully, he can find a job that pays him what he deserves for all the work he's done in TNA once the company's done. Lashley powers out of armbar attempts. King distracts Roode allowing Lashley to do some more damage. MVP pulls the leg too, and the ref ejects MVP, but didn't see the King deal, so he's allowed to stay.

Roode goes a fisherman's suplex, but his back gives out. EY comes out to send King to the back. Lashley gets the spear, but a lazy cover gets 2! Roode Bomb gets 2! Spinebuster gets 2, running powerslam gets 2... Roode counters Shock Treatment and tries for the the Bomb - he dumps Lashley over the top! Lashley took a super-smooth bump for that. It was a thing of beauty, and I'm amazed at what Lashley can do for his age. I loved the ending sequence where Lashley went for a spear again, but Roode did a leapfrog, hurt his knee, couldn't do the Bomb, and ate a big spear for the loss. This wasn't a very good match for a while, but got very good by the end.

Screens -

1 comment:

  1. If you want your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend to come crawling back to you on their knees (even if they're dating somebody else now) you got to watch this video
    right away...

    (VIDEO) Have your ex CRAWLING back to you...?