Friday, September 19, 2014

WWE SD 9-19-14

No video package to start, but Roman Reigns faces Rusev for some reason tonight. Usos are out, with Jimmy facing either Gold or Stardust. Feud recap with the Dust Bros. Cole welcomes JBL to the show since he hasn't been heard once by the 8:03 mark. Stardust humps the tron before combat. Gold and Stardust cut an annoying inset promo. This Stardust character sucks. JBL says they're weirder than the Headshrinkers. They do some moves, fake out the superkick a ton, it finally hits and wins. This sure was nothing. Goldust eats a pair of superkicks.

HOLY CHRIST IT'S ANOTHER MIZDOW AND MIZ TAG AGAINST R-ZIGGLER AND DOLPH. Now it's a 6-man with Cesaro and Sheamus. JBL talks about some cowboy actor who NO ONE ELSE ON PLANET EARTH HAS HEARD OF, so Cole buries him, and then JBL buries Tom. Actually, it's Miz and Cesaro against Dolph and Sheamus. Okay then. Cesaro counters a sunset flip with a tree slam lift up into a press slam, but of course that gets countered into a dropkick. Stinger splash gets countered into a tilt a whirl backbreaker. Love Miz tossing his shades to Mizdow, who is now wearing both pairs! Cole talked about Miz being embarrassed in front of all the other A listers. Isn't the idea that he ISN'T one? WHY IS THE BABYFACE ANNOUNCER REAFFIRMING THE HEEL'S LIES!? Dolph gets a 2 off a neckbreaker to set up a break.

Miz's corner lariat sets up BREAKING NEWS FROM COLE - JBL was wrong. Miz's dog's name isn't Fluffy, it's Mocha. JBL says the stunt double's name is Fluffy - good save. Cesaro chucked Dolph up high into the flying Dolph DDT, leading to an almost RVD-esque head landing on it. Shame each guy is programmed for the other secondary title, because they'd be a lot of fun right now. Chest clubs to Miz, who later eats the Irish Curse. Cesaro lands nastily on the floor - could've twisted the ankle there. Goofy shit on the floor set up a distraction schoolboy for 2, and a kneeling GOODNIGHT DDT for 2.5. Truth distracts Miz, leading to Dolph hitting a superkick and Sheamus hitting the Brogue for the win. WHAT A BUNCH OF CHEATERS! Total Divas ad.

Adam Rose is out AND THANK GOD MICHAEL COLE THINKS HE'S COOL.Bunnygate recap. JBL got in a nice line about the bunny doing a hop-in. Rose is facing Heath, so it should at least be fun. JBL and Cole argued over JBL being beaten up by a Godzilla balloon during an SD in Japan show over a decade ago. JBL and Cole sang Peter Cottontail. Mesmerizing show here. Heath does a leap into Rose's foot and gets cradled for 2. Heath gets Booker T's sidekick for 2! Bunny does a plancha on Titus. Party Foul wins. Cole talked about dancing, how JBL should dance, and tried to get Bunny Mania and Bunny Power over as things. JBL rightly buried him for this idiocy. Henry-Rusev on Raw recap. Renee talked to Lana and Rusev - RUSEV CRUSH. Show and Los Matadores face the Wyatt Family next.

Cole and his checkered suit, and the other guys, plugged THE DUBYA DUBYA E NETWORK FER ONLY NINE NINETY NINE! Loved Big Show doing the bull run bit to start. What the hell - if you're him and you're in this nothing match, might as well have fun with it. Loved them doing the full bull lift intro, Show teasing it, and then laughing it off. I like them at least trying to make this worthless match worthwhile somehow. Rowan just stops because the matador says. What a stupid spot for mid-carders, let alone theoretically bigger acts like the Wyatts. Bray comes in and beats him up before tagging out to Harper. Harper steps on his face before tagging Rowan back in. LOLed at JBL's hard sell about Show being so excited to be on SD! Show runs wild on Rowan. Rowan clips the knee to stop the running bus bit. Bray dominates and gets a kneeling DDT for 2. Harper's in to keep the attack going. Gator Roll rules on Show, who busts out THE TEARDROP SUPLEX to make a comeback. Vader bomb misses from Show. Bray comes in to get a chinlock. Sideslam counter saves him. DIEGO RUNS WILD ON BRAY WYATT, who once beat John Cena. Diego eats the bodypress. Show shoves Rowan all wackily into the barricade. Harper superkicks him. Diego flies into Abigail for the loss - this was a really fun match. A fan held up a Keep Calm and Follow the Buzzards sign, which wouldn't be the worst idea for a shirt. Seth-Roman recap from Raw. Renee's with Roman, oh lord. Roman doesn't care if his opponents are Russian, American, or little green men from Mars - he doesn't discriminate. He'll bring the fight on Sunday. Believe that. He's doomed with these promos.

Divas tag recap. AJ's out on commentary, while Paige faces Nikki. Nikki hits a blind leap into a shining wizard-ish thing for 2. AJ takes a shot at Nikki saying she's natural. I liked AJ going on with little bits of innuendo - like saying she just wants to get Paige on her back on Sunday. Paige took a weird bump for a backdrop. Yakuza kick from Paige sets up the Paige Turner for the win. This was a pretty good little match. AJ rocked the belt like it was a baby. They had a tug of war until Nikki stole it and beat them up with it. Swagger-Bo happens again next.

Swagger gets a jobber intro. JBL and Cole do the We the People bit badly, which they bring up. JBL says Jack needs to get back on track, and Cole points out that HE MADE BO SUBMIT ON RAW. Bo gets taken out hard on the floor. Bo runs around, gets into the apron area and cheap shots Swagger to hit the Bodog for the win. This sucked. Bo buried Zeb, who STOLE THREE PACKETS OF SUGAR and he's a terrible tipper too. Jack attacked. So this was a thing.

Cena-Brock recap, with the Raw stuff eating up a ton of time, aired. Henry talked about being beaten by a Russian at the Olympics, but on Sunday, he can right that wrong and WIN FOR THE FANS! AND THE COUNTRY. MARK HENRY CRUSH RUSEV! Roman's out, and WWE REALLY LOVES ITS FANS, REALLY! Reigns is still walking around the ring at 9:45, so this will be another sub-15 minute main event on SD. They start with a collar and elbow tieup and Rusev dominates. Roman fights back on the floor. Roman hits a God-awful kneelift, leading to a big kick from Rusev.
Rusev, for what this character is, works just about perfectly for it now. He's nixed the flying kicks and is mainly all ground-based now. Like Henry now, his matches are as good as they should be given the style he's working. Rusev takes over and spins around for an ad break. Rusev dominated after it with a reverse bearhug on the ground. Reigns misses some stuff, gets a clothesline, and Rollins comes in with the case. Superman punch to Rusev, and Roman and Seth brawl in the crowd. Rusev stands tall mid-ring and the American flag comes down, much to the Russians' chagrin. How very odd to have this feud close out the show on both Raw and SD, but I do like it appearing to raise Henry and Rusev up the card. THEY ROARED and Henry got the slam. I demand we get that spot on the PPV. HENRY STANDS TALL FOR 'MERICA!

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