Tuesday, September 9, 2014

WWE Main Event 9-9-14

On the 15th anniversary of the Dreamcast's launch, I spent zero time playing the system - not even in emulated form. Might do that after ME though, as it seems like a solid idea. Cole opens the show with BREAKING NEWS - Reigns faces Rollins, and Jericho will face Orton. I like him moving his body to his theme - helps make it seem like it actually has some rhythm to it. Seth hypes up the Shield with a sweet graphic to set up the "where are they now" premise for this. The curb stomp angle is recapped. Seth said he created Roman, and at NoC, he'll destroy his creation. More talking. Christ. Thank God, now Swagger's out with Zeb! Zeb hyped up Swagger-Seth tonight. Or next. Swagger just charges him down with shoulderblocks for a break.

New KENTA graphic for Takeover - good use of NOAH pics. Cole made me chuckle with "And speaking of Rusev..." which no one was doing. Belly to belly sets up the Swagger bomb and the amateur-style powerslam gets 2. Swagger evades the rope pop-up kick and gets the ankle lock, but Seth gets to the ropes. Seth gets the flying knee...kinda sorta. Curb stomp hits solidly for the win. Perfectly fine little showcase for Seth here. Titus and Slater discus cartoon strategy about wabbit hunting. "READ MAN, WABBIT HUNTIN!" "NAW STUPID, I DON'T MEAN PHYSICALLY HOP!" This greatly exceeded all expectations. Heyman-Cena recap. Cesaro is backstage looking weird with a red towel and his black, red, and white robe. Total Divas ad makes Brie out to be a total bitch.

Ryder and his evil goatee are out to be mangled. Zack's new black and silver gear is quite good. Cole once again hyped up Total Divas having THE MOST-WATCHED SEASON 3 PREMIERE ON E IN NEARLY FOUR YEARS! BROSKI BOOT HITS! Ryder's getting some nice offense, BUT HE EATS THE SWING and gets locked in an ankle lock/edgucator/cloverleaf hybrid. I'll call it the cloverlock. "WHO ARE YOU TO DOUBT ZACK RYDER!?" Cesaro says he's better than Sheamus in the ring, better-looking, and even the fans know it. HE ISN'T JUST THE KING OF SWING, HE'S THE KING OF WRESTLING! Bella recap next - time to make some tweaks to KENTA in FPR. Bella recap featured a ton of audio repeating because this verbiage just needed to be repeated. Not even WWE's amazing editing team could make this remotely good. Rose and a very busty rosebud, and the rest, walked backstage. Titus tried to net the bunny, but he ducked and Heath got hit with it.

Titus and Rose did stuff for a bit until the bunny hopped down. Slater eats a Sin Cara kick on the apron. Rose gets a tight O'Connor roll which actually looks good. THEY'RE CALLING THIS HASHTAG BUNNYMANIA! HOW IN THE FUCK!? WHAT!? This was stupid, but short and entertaining. Matadores are out for the main event, I think against some team. THE ASCENSION!? Well, this is unexpected. These goobers get a full intro with a hype video while THE GUYS IN THE NXT TAKEOVER MAIN EVENT didn't even get a graphic. Instead of WE WANT TABLES, they should chant WE WANT WORKRATE. Unlike the NXT match on Raw, these guys didn't get a generic NXT graphic on the set. Crowd's chanting for Punk. Viktor hits a phantom shoulder block to Primo, and then eats the high-low. This was short and still went way too long - they're aiming for an NWA version of the Road Warriors here, and getting the greener than grass Memphis version minus any heat, unique traits, or intangible charisma.

Screens -


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